Six months ago my friend Emily married. I was at her wedding, smiling among the guests. Not long after, I discovered she had already filed for divorce. They had seemed such a happy pair that something must have gone terribly wrong, so I rang her on the weekend and we arranged to meet.
She turned up a few minutes late at our favourite tea shop, breathless as if shed been sprinting. I teased her about the tardiness, but she looked unusually sluggish. Emily is normally a lively storyteller, so I knew something was amiss.
Emily, I wont beat around the bush. Why are you filing for divorce? Did he cheat on you? What happened? I asked.
No, she replied. He didnt cheat, he didnt hit me. Hes simply greedy, and thats why were ending it.
Greedy enough to want a divorce? I prompted.
From day one he insisted we split every expense evenly. At first I thought he meant just the wedding costs. Of course he couldnt afford the whole thing on his own, so I chipped in. Then he started demanding that I contributed exactly the same amount as he did. My salary is three times his, and I had expected him to be a little more generous now and then. Instead he began teaching me how to save every penny.
Every day we started tallying the previous days spending. He even asked to see my receipts! I first thought it was about the wedding bills, but he said he was trying to improve our financial situation. When we planned the wedding we paid for everything ourselves; our parents offered no help. The pressure only grew. He kept a special ledger where I had to record every outlay and justify it.
Did he ever ask you to submit a grocery request form? I asked.
Once he threw a fit over a pair of shoes I bought without consulting him. He told me I must ask permission before purchasing anything expensive and then report the purchase to him, she said.
Why didnt you walk out sooner?
I dont know. The worst part was our ruined honeymoon in Spain. We had booked it before the wedding, meant to be our first holiday together. I had saved for it for years and even borrowed from friends, trusting he would also contribute. Then, out of the blue, he announced he had taken care of the main wedding costs, so I should fund the entire trip myself. He blamed me for not being able to save. A couple of days later he suddenly declared he would go to Spain alone and would sort out the money himself. I was stunned. That evening he left with a suitcase, never looking back. I didnt see him off; I started packing my own bags. Yesterday I finally filed the divorce papers.
I gave Emily all the support she needed. No one deserves a partner whose greed outweighs love. Its a shame she didnt see this before saying I do, but its far better to end a marriage now than to endure years of misery. A man who hoards every pound will never look kindly on his own children. In the end, the story reminds us that a relationship built on fairness and mutual respect is worth more than any wedding ceremony.
