Sorry, but I’m not ready to live together just yet…
James thought Emily was as smitten with him as he was with her, so her reaction to his suggestion that they move in together took him by surprise.
“Sorry, but I’m not ready to live together just yet!” she said.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, we’ve only been dating for six months. It feels a bit too soon…”
“Too soon? Darling, I think it’s the perfect time. We could get to know each other better and maybe take our relationship to the next stage.”
“James, this isn’t a video game; it’s real life. Right now, there’s no room for cohabitation in my life, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value our relationship. I’m just content with how things are.”
“But I want more! I want to wake up with you every morning. I want to fall asleep together! Don’t you want that, too?”
“We already do that twice a week, remember? Isn’t that enough?”
“It’s not enough for me!”
“Well, if you love me, you’ll have to be patient.”
“I can be patient if you tell me why you don’t want to. Please explain! Is it really that hard?”
Emily thought for a moment, then smiled at him and decided they should discuss it further.
“James, let’s be frank. What does living together mean to you?”
“I said it already. Sleeping and waking up together!”
“And during the day?”
“What do you mean?”
“There are twenty-four hours in a day, remember? You’re only talking about the night and early morning, but what about the rest?”
“Well, we’re almost always at work during the day! Isn’t that right?”
“Not exactly. We’d be having dinner or breakfast together, for one.”
“I would hope so!”
“And who’s going to cook?”
“You can’t cook!” James guessed, though he’d often eaten her cooking before.
“I can cook!”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“Who would do the cooking? You or me?”
“Well, you, maybe, but sometimes I would. Why are you so concerned about this?”
“James, I just don’t want my life to turn into a dull routine like so many of my friends! I don’t want to wake up early to make breakfast for someone else. I don’t want to dash from work, stop by the store, lug groceries home, and then spend two hours cooking dinner!”
“But you sometimes cook when you stay over, don’t you? I thought you enjoyed it…”
James looked a bit frustrated. Was his girlfriend lazy?
“I love cooking, but I’m not ready to do it daily. I like coming home, whipping up a quick salad, and that’s it. I enjoy seeing you twice a week, sometimes more. That’s enough for me! Maybe someday, I’ll want more, but not right now!”
“You just don’t love me!” James concluded.
“Oh, here we go…”
“Why not? When a woman loves someone, she’ll do anything for them!”
“And the guy? Is he ready to do anything for her?”
“Of course!”
“Alright, then let’s live together, BUT – all the chores split evenly. Everyone cleans up after themselves, we take turns cooking, and we do our own laundry. How does that sound?”
“But I’m not good at cooking. You said it yourself!”
“It’ll be a reason to learn. We can’t always have pizza or burgers. I can help you with learning!”
“I just don’t get it, is it that hard? Why do others manage it without a problem? Do you think you’re special?” James persisted.
“Well, if you want to think that, fine! I’m special. I’m not ready to sacrifice my personal life for love. Not anytime soon. I’m only twenty-three. I want to enjoy my freedom!”
“Ah, now I get it! You’ve got another bloke!” James jumped to a conclusion.
“And why would I need that?” Emily asked, puzzled.
“If you don’t want to live with me, surely you care more about him?”
“Your imaginary man is more important to me?” she chuckled.
“Your imaginary man! Why would I make up some guy?”
“Well, since you don’t need a guy, you decided to invent one for me, huh?”
“You’re confusing me!” he nearly shouted.
“Because you’re talking nonsense! I don’t have anyone else! Sometimes even you are more than enough for me; that’s why I’m not ready to live together! I love my solitude and I’m not giving it up. Not now!”
“How can you love solitude when you’re in a relationship?” James was bewildered.
“It’s simple. Are there things you like to do when no one else is around?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, read a book, watch a series, take a bath, browse social media, try on clothes, dance in the dark!”
“Guys don’t do things like that!” he protested.
“But girls do! And I like it! I’m not ready to give up the joys of single life yet!”
“But there are plenty of joys in living together!” James still tried to convince her.
“Such as?”
“Sleeping and waking up together!” he repeated his line.
“James, are you aware you snore like a tractor?”
“What? You never said! And no one else complained!”
“I can’t speak for others, but since Robert smacked your nose at the barbecue a few months ago, your snoring’s been awful. I did mention it! I can put up with it a couple of times a week, but not every day! I need to get some decent sleep sometimes.”
“You can’t sleep next to me?”
“Only if I manage to fall asleep before you!”
“But you usually go to bed later…”
“Exactly!”
“So, I snore, I don’t cook, I’m unsuitable for living together?”
“And you, it seems, are rather tedious!” she couldn’t hold back.
“How am I tedious?”
“You’ve spent half an hour trying to convince me to do something I really don’t want to do. If that’s not tedious, what is?”
“Emily, I was thinking of marrying you! That’s why I suggested living together!” he said, hurt.
“I didn’t say I wanted to get married,” she said with a sad smile.
“You don’t? All girls want to get married!”
“Apparently, not all…”
“Or maybe you just don’t want to marry me?” he guessed.
“I don’t want to get married in general, but if you’re thinking in those terms, what can you offer a future wife? Sleeping and waking up together?”
“You mean I’m worthless?” James was offended. “That I’m incapable of anything?”
“You’re nearly thirty. You earn £50,000 a year, live in your uncle’s rundown flat to avoid paying rent, shop at cheap stores, and you don’t even want to buy a car because of the expense!”
“Listening to you, I’m quite the catch! So why did you even date me?”
Emily shrugged.
“You’re charming, well-built, fun, and a fantastic lover.”
“For the health benefits?”
“And for the soul!”
“But we’re not having a family!”
“Not until you grow up!”
“Fine then! Consider my proposal off the table! And you know what, I’ll say even more! We’re breaking up!”
“Seriously?” Emily asked ironically. “I thought you’d never offer! Goodbye, then?” she waved at him, reminding him they were in her flat.
“Goodbye!” he said proudly, pulling up his trousers. “Or rather, farewell!”
“Farewell it is!” she said with a smile and tossed him his shirt.
James left, while Emily turned on some music, switched off the light, and began to dance. It always helped her calm down and regain a positive mood. She knew he’d be back in a day or two, but whether she’d take him back was another matter entirely.
