Sorry, but I’m not ready to move in together yet…
Tom thought Emma was just as in love with him as he was with her, so he was taken aback by her response to his suggestion of moving in together.
“Sorry, but I’m not ready to live together yet!” she said.
“Why not?”
“I don’t know, we’ve only been dating for six months. It feels too soon to me…”
“Too soon? Love, I feel like it’s the right time. We’ll live together, get to know each other better, and maybe take the next step.”
“You’re acting like it’s a video game, but it’s life, Tom. My life just doesn’t have room for cohabitation right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value our relationship. I just like it the way it is.”
“But I want more! I want to wake up with you in the mornings. I want to fall asleep together! Don’t you want that too?”
“We do that twice a week already, remember? Isn’t that enough?”
“It’s not enough for me!”
“Well, if you love me, you’re going to have to wait a bit longer.”
“I can wait if you tell me why! Why don’t you want to? Explain it to me! Is it that hard?”
Emma thought quietly for a moment, then smiled at him, thinking it was time to have a serious discussion.
“Tom, let’s be frank. What does living with a woman mean to you?”
“I already said, sleeping and waking up together!”
“And what about the in-between?”
“What do you mean?” he asked, puzzled.
“There are 24 hours in a day, remember? You only talk about the night and early morning, but what about the rest of the time?”
“The rest of the time we’re mostly at work! Aren’t we?”
“Well, not exactly. For instance, we’ll have dinners or breakfasts, won’t we?”
“I hope so!”
“And who will cook?”
“You don’t know how to cook!” Tom guessed, foolishly assuming despite enjoying her meals before.
“I do know how to cook!”
“Then what’s the issue?”
“Who’s going to cook? You or me?”
“Well, maybe you, sometimes me. Why are you so concerned about this?”
“Tom, because I don’t want to turn my life into a dull routine like many of my friends! I don’t want to wake up early just to make breakfast for someone. I don’t want to rush home from work, stop by the store, drag groceries home, and then spend hours cooking dinner!”
“But don’t you sometimes cook when you stay over? I thought you liked it…”
Tom looked a bit frustrated. Is his girlfriend lazy?
“I love to cook, but I’m not ready to do it every day. I enjoy coming home, making a quick salad, and that’s it. I like that we see each other twice a week, sometimes more. That’s enough for me! Maybe one day I’ll want more, but not now!”
“You just don’t love me!” Tom proclaimed.
“There you go…”
“What? Isn’t that true? When a woman loves someone, she’s ready to do anything for them!”
“And the one who’s loved? Are they ready to do anything for the other person?”
“Of course!”
“Okay, let’s live together then, BUT – we split all household chores. Each of us cleans up after ourselves, we take turns cooking, and do our own laundry. How about that?”
“But I’m not good at cooking. You said so yourself!”
“Well, it’s a good reason to learn. We can’t just live on pizza or burgers all the time. I can help you learn!”
“I just don’t get it, is it really that hard? Then why is it easy for others? Are you special?” Tom persisted.
“Well, if it helps you to think that. Sure, let’s say I’m special. I don’t want to sacrifice my personal life for love. Not now. I’m only twenty-three. I want to enjoy my freedom!”
“Oh, I get it! There’s another man!” Tom concluded suddenly.
“What would I need him for?” Emma was baffled.
“Well, if you don’t want to live with me, he must mean more to you!”
“That imaginary man means more to me?” she chuckled.
“Your imaginary man! Why would I invent guys for myself?”
“Oh, you don’t need a man, so you decided to invent one for me, right?”
“You’ve completely lost me!” he nearly shouted.
“Because you’re talking nonsense! There’s no one else! Sometimes even you’re a lot, which is why I don’t want to live together! I enjoy my own company and I’m not ready to give that up. Not now!”
“How can you love being alone when you’re in a relationship?” Tom was astonished.
“It’s simple. Are there things you like doing when you’re alone at home?”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know, reading a book, watching a show, taking a bath, scrolling through social media, trying on clothes from your wardrobe, dancing in the dark!”
“Guys don’t do that!” he fumed.
“Girls do! And I like it! I’m not ready to give up those little pleasures of single life yet!”
“But there are plenty of perks in living together!” Tom tried to persuade her still.
“Like what?”
“Sleeping and waking up together!” he repeated his line.
“Tom, you’re aware you snore like a train?”
“What? You never mentioned it! No one else complained!”
“Well, I can’t speak for others, but after that time when Andy hit your nose at the barbeque a couple of months ago, you started snoring incredibly loudly. And by the way, I told you! I can handle it a couple of times a week, but not every day! I want to sleep too, sometimes even soundly.”
“You don’t get enough sleep next to me?”
“Only when I manage to fall asleep before you do!”
“But you usually go to bed later…”
“That’s my point!”
“Ah, so I snore, I don’t cook, I’m not suited for cohabitation?”
“And apparently, you’re a terrible nag too!” she couldn’t hold it in.
“How am I a nag!?”
“You’ve been trying to convince me to do something I fundamentally don’t want to do for half an hour. Isn’t that nagging?”
“Emma, I wanted to marry you! That’s why I suggested living together!” he said hurt.
“Did I ever say I wanted to get married?” she smiled sadly.
“Don’t you want to? All girls want to get married!”
“Apparently, not all…”
“Or you don’t want to marry me?” he deduced.
“I don’t want to get married, but if I did, what would you offer as a future husband? Sleeping and waking up together?”
“Are you saying I’m worthless?” Tom was offended. “That I can’t achieve anything?”
“You’re nearly thirty. You earn £2,000 a month, you live in your uncle’s rundown flat just to avoid rent, you shop in cheap stores. You don’t even want to buy a car because it costs to maintain!”
“Listening to you, I’m quite the catch! Then why are you even dating me?”
Emma shrugged.
“You’re handsome, well-built, funny, and a great lover.”
“For health reasons?”
“And for the soul!”
“But a family isn’t in our future!”
“Not until you grow up, definitely not!”
“Fine! Then my offer is off the table! And you know what else? We’re done!”
“Really?” Emma asked sarcastically. “I thought you wouldn’t suggest it! Well then, goodbye?” she said, waving him off, reminding him he was bickering with her in her own flat.
“Goodbye!” he declared proudly, pulling on his trousers. “Actually, farewell!”
“Farewell then!” she said with a smile, tossing him his shirt.
Tom left, and Emma turned on the music, turned off the lights, and started dancing. It always helped calm her nerves and bring back her positive mood. She knew he’d be back eventually, but whether she’d let him in was another question.
