I recall the day my son, Thomas, came to my study with a clenched jaw and a weary look.
Father, Im filing for divorce, he blurted. Ive had enough. Motheryour wifehas grown lazy. How long must I shoulder everything alone?
I took a breath and answered, Forgive me, son.
For what? he asked, bewildered.
For the times I was not kind to your mother. That failing is mine, and it has left a dark corner in your heart where thoughts of separation take root.
He stared, as if hearing the word divorce for the first time.
No, do not part, I said firmly. Never let that thought linger.
Should I endure it forever? he pressed.
Endurance is not the answer. It is not her you must endure, but your own harshness toward her. Change yourself, and the world around you will shift.
How can I change? he asked.
Look to your wife as the Lord teaches. I paused, letting the weight of the words settle. She is a gift from Him, your joy, your helper, the mother of your children. She is a fragile vessel that God placed in your care, to be held gently, with caution, with love. Everything else is trivial. If she lacks a skill today, she will learn it. You do not know everything yourself, either. When she falls short, cover her weakness with your strength and affection. If she does not understand something, sit with her in the evening over a cup of tea, embrace her shoulder, and explain. Your path is yours alone, as is your love. Anyone who tries to plant hatred in your heart is an enemy of your homewhether that foe is your own mother, your brother, or your dearest friend. Do not judge them for it. Forgive, and let each know that for the sake of his wife, for the sake of his love, he would lay down his life without hesitation, but would never allow another to lay a single cruel word upon his family.
Did they ever try to separate you and your mother? Thomas asked quietly.
We fought fiercely even without any assistants, I admitted. Stubbornness and pride made us reckless. Your life is different. No one will drive you away from Gods embrace. Seek His wisdom, yield to one another, show compassion, and comfort each other. Love, if you have never known it, will grow. Its true worth and grandeur reveal themselves in old age, when you gently clasp your wifes shoulder at dusk, and no words are needed.
Thomas fell silent. For the first time in many years he regarded his wife, Eleanor, not as a problem but as a fellow soul, equally tired, equally flawed, equally yearning for warmth and support. Shame washed over him for having seen only her shortcomings, for overlooking the light that once danced in her eyes beside his.
That night he returned home without a single rebuke. He stepped up, wrapped his arms around Eleanor, and whispered, Forgive me. I failed to see the greatest gift of my life in you.
She was taken aback, yet a small spark flickered in her gazethe same spark that had first bound their hearts. No grand speech was needed; only the hush, the touch, and the certainty that they remained together.
True love never truly diesit merely slumbers beneath layers of grievances and daily cares. When tended with attention, patience, and tenderness, it awakens stronger than ever before.
