Some old ladies are more important than a family, I muttered, halflaughing, halfangry.
Mum, I get it, but was it really that hard to give me a headsup? Ive already booked a slot with a stylist she even found me a free window! Because of you Im letting her down. You cant be a granny only when it suits you. Either youre a granny all the time or youre not a granny at all.
Katie, I cant just drop everything and dash back, can I? I physically wont make it in time Nora tried to explain, wringing her hands.
And what am I supposed to do now? Ive paid a deposit for my haircut. Its nonrefundable if I dont turn up!
Katie aired her grievances as if Nora had chained her to a radiator and locked her out of the salon. In reality, from Noras point of view, Katie herself was at fault for the whole mess. Shed grown used to the idea that everyone would swoop in at her first snap of the fingers. Katie truly believed the world should bend around her, being a young mother of two.
Find someone else to help, or cancel the appointment, Nora concluded in her everpeaceful tone. Im helpless here.
Right Katies mind raced, feverishly weighing options. Ill try to move it to tomorrow or the day after. Will you have time to get back?
Nora froze. She wanted to say yes, but something held her back probably the last shreds of pride still lodged deep inside.
No, Katie. Ill be back on Tuesday, in five days.
Five days? Its only an hourandahalf drive!
Yes, but Ive made plans with the girls. I cant just ditch them.
And you can ditch your grandchildren, I see Katie snapped, voice sharp. My girls would have noshed a barbecue without you anyway. But I get it, its a matter of priorities. Some old ladies are more important than family, huh? You know, Mum, if were not needed, youll hardly see us again. Sorry for the bother, love.
The sound of a trains whistle made Noras heart skip. She knew her daughter was being harsh, but Katie was her only child, and Nora was terrified of losing her. She was even ready to abandon her seaside resort and rush back to the city just to avoid a fight.
It turned out Nora had raised Katie on her own. When Katie was eight, her father vanished, and Nora tried to fill the gap with endless attention, gifts and boundless love. That, rather than anything else, broke Katie.
Nora started to suspect something was off when Katie moved in with a bloke. What could once be blamed on teenage mood swings now seemed a fullblown adult problem.
Ian, Katies husband, was a quiet, peaceloving fellow who worked in an appliance repair centre and earned a decent wage. Katie, by contrast, didnt have a job at all. When she got pregnant the money ran thin and arguments sparked.
Hes gone bonkers! Katie vented, pulling clothes from a suitcase. He told me he wont be home at night. Supposedly hes got a side gig as a security guard, right? Probably off with some old lady.
Katie Hes not that bad. You wanted him to earn more, didnt you? Hes just trying to make ends meet Nora tried to soothe.
I did, but I meant a daytime sidehustle! A proper man should be home at night, next to his wife. Theres time for extra work after the main job, on weekends. No, Mum, I cant live with a husband who roams around after dark.
These spats became a regular feature of their household. The next day Ian would show up with a plush toy or a bouquet; Katie would yell at him for splurging the family budget on trinkets, then forgive him and get back to the sofa. A week or two later the cycle started all over again.
One day Nora, fed up with being the third wheel in this love triangle, simply wouldnt let Katie in when she arrived with a bag of belongings. The result was
Brilliant. So you dont give a toss about me. You dont mind your daughter sleeping rough on the street, do you? Katie fumed, standing in the doorway.
It was mortifying in front of the neighbours, terrifying for Nora, but after that Katie never left Ians flat again.
When the first grandchild arrived, Katie turned even more temperamental, blaming everything on hormones and postnatal blues. She often left the baby with a grandmother, not asking for help but demanding it, or simply stating it as fact.
Mum, look after him for a day or Ill lose my mind. I cant stand those cries any longer. I need a manicure, you know.
Back then Katie still took refusals as a mild annoyance; shed grumble, get upset, then call the next day as if nothing had happened, never threatening to cut off the grandchildren.
Most of the blame lay with the motherinlaw. If Nora couldnt watch the baby, Katie turned to Margaret Maggie Whitaker. Their relationship was, to put it politely, frosty.
Shes driving me mad. She keeps telling Ian, Dont forget youve got a roof over your head, Katie mimicked in a shrill voice. Shes hinting that shes waiting for him. Maybe she dreams that well split and hell crawl back under her skirt.
When the grandson turned four, Maggie moved to another city. By then Katie already had two kids and panicked. Without a granny she was at her wits end.
The solution was obvious: Katie shifted the whole load onto her mother, and stopped tolerating any no.
Nora adored her grandchildren, truly. But she still had a life of her own. She wasnt retired yet, and she liked an evening out with her mates. One of them, Elaine, was a bit of a loner, while the others could no longer stand the idea of dating after a first marriage.
For Katie, nobody elses plans mattered.
Mum, I need you to look after Max and Sam. Ill bring them over in an hour, she said, no if that works for you, no please. Just a statement of fact.
Nora worked from home, so she could sometimes shuffle things around, but not always. When she couldnt free up the time, Katie resorted to blackmail.
Oh, I see. Of course, your life is more important than ours, Katie sniffed, offended. Well stop bothering you.
After that Katie went silent. No calls, no messages. Nora knew her daughter was in the wrong, yet she felt a gnawing anxiety, terrified of losing contact with the family. So she made the first peace offering, cancelling a night out with friends, taking a sick day, even handing over theatre tickets.
That was the pattern, until now.
A couple of weeks ago Nora arrived at the resort with two friends. Shed finally got a holiday and wanted a break. She didnt tell Katieshe was afraid of the reaction and hoped nothing would blow up in the week.
Wrong move. Katie suddenly needed help for a haircut and, of course, didnt think to discuss her plans with Nora. She expected her mum to drop everything and rush over. Nora, however, knew she physically couldnt make it, not to mention the extra travel costs. Shed already settled into holiday mode. Why should she become a traineddog on demand?
Nora felt the sting, but tried to keep her chin up, to distract herself, to enjoy the break. Futile.
Whats got you so sour? asked Marina, one of the friends, skewering meat on a kebab stick. Something happen?
Nora spilled the beans: daughter called, dropped a bomb, she was angry, expecting a silent treatment, maybe something worse.
My own lot isnt a gift either, but at least they behave a touch more discreetly chimed in Elena, the other friend. Honestly, Id have given them the fullon ignore.
And whats the point? Theyll stop talking to you. Who benefits?
You, of course. Whos going to help Katie if not you? The motherinlaw is miles away, the little ones are a constant headache. Shell crawl back like a kitten once she realises youre the only safety net.
They debated for half an hour. Nora decided the friends were right. The motherinlaw was gone, the husbands side of the family was cut off, she couldnt afford a nanny. All that was left was a mother who was fed up with ultimatums.
The next two weeks were a waiting game. Nora kept checking her phone, but Katie stayed silent. Nora was on the brink of despair, ready to make the first move, when a call finally rang.
Mum, hi. Sams got a cold, could you look after him? Id take a day off, but the workload is such they wont let me. Can you manage?
Normally Katie never bothered with anyones schedule.
Nora could have taken a day off and dropped everything, but then she thought: if I fall ill, will anyone cover my shift? Probably not.
Katie, Im really sorry, but Ive got a mountain of work too You know Id love to help, love, but you should have given me a headsup yesterday
A pause hung in the air. Nora braced for an explosion that never came.
Well, whod have guessed Sams temperature would spike Katie replied, a hint of irritation. Mum, could you do it at the weekend? Please. Ill try to sort out my boss and spread the workload.
Katie wasnt exactly graceful, but at least she responded calmly and looked for a compromise. Nora took it as a small step forward and replied.
I can do the weekend, Ive got nothing planned yet.
Great, Ill keep that in mind. Thank you.
The conversation wasnt perfect, but every now and then a mother and daughter managed to negotiate without threats or sacrifice.
Since then Katie has started asking if its convenient for her mum to watch the grandsons and actually thanks her for the help. Sometimes she still tries to guilttrip, but now she does it with a smile rather than a scream. Nora no longer bends over backwards every time; she can still shift her plans for the grandsons, but if she feels the pressure is too much she simply says no. After all, help should be given voluntarily, not forced, and its the one asking who should be grateful.
