Would you like my husband? Hes yours! I said with a sly smile to the stranger whod just appeared at my door.
Hold on a tick, Ellie! Someones at the door. Ill call you back once I find out who it is and what they want, I said, ending the call with my childhood friend, who moments earlier had me doubled over with laughter at her stories of her mother-in-laws birthday antics. It had felt like watching a sitcom.
I headed to the front door and peered through the peephole, fully expecting to see one of the neighbours after all, you need a key code to even get into our building here in Bristol. But standing outside was a young woman, one Id never seen before, looking oddly flustered.
I hesitated to open the door. Best not to engage with strangers, especially when scams are growing more cunning by the day. My golden rule: No chats with unknowns. Ive read enough about people getting caught out I wont be one of them.
I went to resume my call with Ellie, but the doorbell went again. Whoever was outside clearly wasnt going anywhere, obviously certain someone was in, determined for a response.
I was home alone my husband, David, had popped round to help a mate with some gardening in his new place. I went back to the door, scrutinising this unknown woman even closer through the spyhole.
There was something both odd and a bit sad about her but I didnt sense any danger.
Whats the absolute worst that can happen if I open up and tell her to go? I wondered. Then I can get back on with my Saturday in peace. Shes probably lost, or trying to flog me something pointless.
Making up my mind, I opened the door. The woman straightened up at once, fiddling with her hair as she prepared to speak.
Hello! Are you Amelia? she asked, twirling her scarf. Well, of course you are why am I even asking?
God, these scammers are getting slicker by the day, I thought to myself. She even knows my name.
Who are you and what do you want? Youve been loitering for five minutes. I didnt invite you. Say what you need to say or move along! I said sharply.
Is David at home? she asked, surprising me.
Oh, this is something I thought, suspicion rising. She even knows my husbands name. Shes definitely come prepared.
So youre here for David? I asked, although Id meant to say something far less polite.
No, Im here to speak with you. If Davids home, it just makes things harder for me, she answered with almost casual honesty.
Why would that make it harder for you? What on earth is going on? I wondered.
Hes not in. Now, what do you want? I said.
Maybe we should step inside. Bit awkward to be discussing things like this in the hallway, she suggested, suddenly bolder.
Certainly not! I dont know you, and I dont let strangers into my flat. Say your bit and make it quick, I snapped.
Do you really want to talk about the private details of my relationship with David out here, in front of the neighbours? she said, flashing a wry smile.
What? What relationship? I blurted, louder than Id intended.
Amelia, are you alright? Why are you shouting? asked Mrs. Wilson, my nosy neighbour, emerging from the lift.
Oh, hi Mrs. Wilson! Everythings fine, thank you. Hows the weather out? I replied, scrambling for a diversion.
Looking like it might rain, she said, but she didnt seem in a hurry to go inside, curiosity written all over her face.
Come in, I said, unwillingly, waving the woman inside.
Once in, the woman glanced around the flat with far too much interest, her eyes roaming over our things.
Youve got five minutes. Speak, I said, blocking her way to the lounge. This isnt a guided tour.
My names Jessica, she began, unwrapping her scarf and shrugging off her coat. David and I are in love.
Oh, give it a rest! Couldnt you come up with something less cliché? I interrupted, forcing a sarcastic smile.
Whats so cliché? People fall in love it happens. Youre hardly the first wife a husband has left, Jessica shot back, trying to edge past.
And youre quite certain he doesnt love me, and does love you? I asked, still smirking.
Absolutely! Otherwise, I wouldnt have come here, she retorted, all confidence.
Well, the funny thing is, my husband doesnt really love anyone. He doesnt even know how to. So Im afraid youre mistaken, love, I replied, perfectly calm.
Jessica opened her mouth to argue, but at that moment, the door swung open and David walked in
and the look on his face, finding a strange woman in our hallway, was priceless.
Jessica? What on earth are you doing here on a Saturday? Is it something to do with work? he asked, completely thrown.
No, shes come for you, I said, feigning delight in the situation.
For me? What are you talking about? Has something happened at the office? David said, baffled.
Shes here to take you off my hands. Completely, I replied, with an ironic smile.
Jessica, obviously embarrassed, snatched up her coat and started backing out towards the door.
Leaving already? But what about David? Wasnt that why you came? Honestly, Id be absolutely thrilled for you to have him, I teased.
But she was already out the door, bolting without another word.
What on earth was all that about? David asked, dazed.
You tell me! Why did this bold woman show up, demanding I divorce you, insisting youre about to move in with her? I asked, folding my arms.
Are you being serious? David asked, looking genuinely shocked. I swear Ive got no idea whats going on. Shes been acting odd at work lately, but Ive not given her any reason. Im honestly sick of this nonsense. I promised you, remember?
Thats good. Because you know me, David I dont put up with this sort of drama. But truly, women these days will do just about anything to try to sort out their complicated lives, I said, shaking my head.
David kicked off his shoes and wandered into the kitchen, leaving me in thought. I mentally promised myself I wouldnt let things like this rattle my little sanctuary. In spite of myself, I smiled, thinking how utterly haphazard Jessicas plan had been.
Whatever others tried, it was clear to me that our marriage was sturdier than any outsider could ever imagine.
