“So, I suppose a marriage certificate really is stronger than just living together, eh?” The men at the construction site had teased Nadine, their laughter sharp and mocking.
“Im not going to the thirty-year reunion, Rita. Ill just end up depressed afterward. Let the ones who go every year deal with itthey dont notice how much theyve changed.” Nadines voice crackled through the phone, her tone brittle.
“Whats got you so scared? You looked fine last time I saw youfive years ago, wasnt it? You werent exactly hideous. Put on weight or something?” Rita sounded genuinely puzzled.
“For Gods sake, drop it, Rita! I just dont want to go!”
Nadine was ready to hang up, hoping Rita would finally take the hint and move down her list of calls. But this time, her friend clung like a bulldog.
“Nadine, our numbers are already thinning. Half the groups gone.”
“What, someone died?” Nadines stomach tightened. She didnt consider herself old, not old enough for their peers to start dropping like flies.
“No, nothing like thatsome just left the country. The only one weve lost is Andrew Marsh, and that was twenty-five years ago. Young lad, too. Ive told you before.”
“Then stop being stubborn. The whole years gatheringfour groups, but barely thirty people will show. You finally got your son married, didnt you? Nows your chance to cut loose for once.”
Rita prattled on, but Nadines mind drifted back to Andrew Marsh. Hed always had dark circles under his eyes, a heavy gaze. The lads in their group had called him weak.
Turned out, it was his heart. A weak heart. Hed been bright, top of the class, dreamed of building a grand suspension bridge in his hometown. Never got the chance. And what had she done, Nadine?
Fallen for Ian, the foreman at the construction site where shed worked fresh out of university. Hed been on rotation, gone home between shifts. Theyd been together for yearshed even called her his wife in front of everyone. Said civil partnerships were the real proof of love. That people stayed together not because of a piece of paper, but because they wanted to.
Then shed found out she was pregnantright around the time Ian didnt show up for his next shift. Turned out he had three kids already, and a sick wife. Hed quit without a word, left her to figure it out alone.
So shed walked away too, before anyone could piece it together. Though one of the lads had snickered as she left
“So, marriage certificate *is* stronger than just shacking up, eh?”
She hadnt cared by then. Got a job at a corner shop near her flat, set up by a neighbour. Two days a week, even after the baby came. Her mother had agreed to watch little Dannywhat choice did she have, with a daughter foolish enough to throw away a good job?
“You raised me this way!” Nadine had snapped once, when her mothers nagging grew unbearable.
“I hoped youd at least be sensible! Worked my fingers to the bone to put you through university, and look at youthrowing it all away!”
“Like mother, like daughter. What did you expect?” The words had slipped out, sharp and ugly. Theyd both cried afterward, hugged it out. But what good did that do?
So when Rita called about the five-year reunion, Nadine hadnt gone. What was the point? Theyd all be boasting about families, careers, swapping photos. And her? Mopping floors in three different buildingsschool, nursery, her own block of flats. What did she have to say to them? Or they to her?
Danny was her only comfort. Shed do anything for him.
Her mother had washed her hands of babysitting once he started nursery. Packed up and moved to her sisters village, claiming the city air was bad for her health.
Then, against all odds, luck had turned. A part-time engineering job, just as Danny started school. Suddenly, she could managefetching him from after-school club, even earning a little respect.
A colleague had tried flirting once. Shed shut it down hard. No strange men in her sons life. A father was irreplaceable, and she wouldnt risk more heartache.
Shed done well at work. By the time Danny was grown, she was on full salary, even earning decent money. But she still felt hollow. Dressed plainly, never dyed her hair. The grey streaks after forty suited her, she thought.
She didnt deserve happiness. Not after what shed donenearly stealing a father from three children. No bright clothes, no attention. Better to stay invisible.
Danny, thank God, had turned out kind. His summers were spent in the village with Granny Irene and Aunt Lizzie, digging vegetable patches, chopping firewood. Even her mother had softened”A grandson like thats a blessing,” shed say.
So what use did she have for cafés and reunions?
The thoughts flashed through her mind in seconds.
Ritas voice snapped her back
“So? You remember? The café opposite the old halls, next Friday at three. Come on, at least *Ill* have someone to talk to. God knows I need it. Will you?”
Something in Ritas tone cracked. Without thinking, Nadine said, “Fine. Ill come.”
She regretted it the moment she hung up. Stared at herself in the mirror, picked up the phone to call back. But Ritas line was busy. And thenshame.
Late that evening, she pulled out the blue dress Danny had bought for his wedding. He and Natalie had badgered her into it, dragging her to the shops, exhausting her with endless fitting rooms. The dress had won them overeven her. Shoes to match, then a salon visit for a cut and colour.
That was a year ago. Danny and Natalie were happy in their own place now.
The grey roots had returned. No one to impress. But she styled her hair anyway, slipped into the blue dress. A touch of lipstickthen wiped it off. Too bold.
The café buzzed when she arrived. Rita spotted her instantly. “Nadine! Bloody hell, you look stunning!”
Rita had softened with age, but it suited her. They talked awhile, until someone pulled Rita away. Nadine sipped juice, let the music wash over herold hits from their student days.
“May I have this dance?”
She looked up*Alex Carter.* From the parallel group. Married in third year. Shed fancied him back then.
“Nadine. Youre *lovely.* First reunion Ive bothered with, and youre the only one I recognise.”
She took his hand. They danced in silence. Later, walking her home, he said, “Ive been divorced years. But if theres someone waiting for you, Ill just see you to the door.”
He did. Then met her the next day. And the next.
Natalie helped her pick the wedding dress. “Youre *gorgeous,* Nadine,” she whispered. “Youre allowed to be happy, you know. At any age.”
At the reception, Nadine caught Alexs eye. *Maybe I am,* she thought.
For the first time in decades, she forgave herself. And let happiness in.
