“So, is a marriage certificate really stronger than just living together?” the lads teased Nadine.
“I wont be going to the thirty-year reunion. Ill just end up depressed. Let the ones who go every year attendthey dont notice how theyve changed,” Nadine snapped into the phone when her only friend called.
“How bad do you look now that youre so scared?” Margaret sounded surprised. “We met up five years ago, and you were finenormal. Have you put on weight or something?”
“What does that have to do with anything? I just dont want to go, Rita, stop pushing me!”
Nadine was ready to hang up, hoping Margaret would take the hint and move down her list of calls. But this time, her friend clung to her stubbornly.
“Nadine, our numbers are already thinning.”
“What, has someone died?” Nadine flinched despite herself. She didnt consider herself young anymore, but not so old that their classmates were dropping off one by one.
“No, nothing like thatjust some have left the country. The only one weve lost is Andrew Bush, twenty-five years ago, still so young. Ive told you this before.”
“So stop being difficult. The whole years gatheringall four groupsand therell only be about thirty of us. Didnt you finally get your son married? Nows your chance to take a break.”
Margaret kept talking, but Nadines mind wandered back to Andrew Bush. He always had dark circles under his eyes and a heavy gaze, and the lads in their group thought him weak.
Turns out, Andrew had a weak heart. He studied hard, dreamed of building a grand suspension bridge in his hometown, but never got the chance. And what had she accomplished, Nadine wondered?
Shed fallen for Ian, a foreman at the construction site where she worked after graduation. He was on rotation in their town, then went home between shifts.
They dated for years, and Ian even introduced her as his wife in front of everyone. He said civil partnerships were the real proof of lovethat people stayed together out of affection, not because of a piece of paper…
Then Nadine discovered she was pregnantjust as Ian failed to return for his next shift. Turned out, he had three children and a sick wife. Hed quit without telling her, citing personal reasons.
Nadine knew she couldnt demand anything from a man with three kids and an ill wife.
She left the construction site too, before anyone noticed. Though one of the lads joked as she went,
“So, a marriage certificate really is stronger than just shacking up?”
But Nadine was past caring. She found work at a grocery shop near her flat, arranged by a neighbour. They agreed shed work two days a week, even after the baby came.
Her mother reluctantly agreed to look after Timmy, grumbling that her daughter had thrown away a good career.
“You raised me this way!” Nadine finally shouted when her mother nagged too much.
“I hoped youd at least be sensible! I worked myself ragged to put you through uni, and look at you, Nadinesuch a fool!” her mother wailed.
“Like mother, like daughterwhat did you expect?” Nadine shot back, then instantly regretted it.
They hugged and cried together, but what was the point? There was no going back.
So when Margaret called five years after graduation, inviting her to the reunion, Nadine didnt go.
Theyd all talk about families, careers, show off photoswhile Nadine scrubbed floors in three places: the stairwells, the school, and the nursery. What could she possibly say to them?
Or rather, what could they say to her?
For Timmys sake, shed do anything. He was her only joy.
Especially after her mother, once Timmy started nursery, decided her duty was done. She moved to her sisters village, claiming the city air didnt agree with her.
Then, unexpectedly, luck turned. Nadine landed a part-time job in her field just as Timmy started school. She managed everything herself now, even picking him up after lunchearning envy from other parents.
A colleague at work began flirting with her, but she shut it down fast. She had a son, and he didnt need some stranger in their home. No man could replace his fatherjust bring trouble.
Nadine thrived at work, and once Timmy was older, she even earned well, securing a full-time engineering position.
Yet she always felt inadequate, worn down. She dressed plainly, never dyed her hair, and by forty, the grey showed.
She believed she didnt deserve happiness, not after falling for a married man, nearly stealing a father from three children.
She couldnt dress brightly, dye her hair, stand outor someone might notice her again.
And happy endings? Nadine no longer believed in them. With so many divorced around her, she was no bettermaybe worse.
Timmy, to her relief, grew up grateful. Her sacrifices hadnt spoiled him.
He spent summers in the village with Granny Irene and her sister, helping dig beds, plant potatoes, beetroot, and carrots. He chopped wood, stacked logs, and in autumn, helped jar pickles and jam.
From childhood, he was sturdy, skilledand even her mother now admitted he was a blessing, while her lonely sister Lizzie doted on her grandson.
So what use did Nadine have for cafés and reunions?
All these painfully familiar thoughts raced through her mind in seconds.
Then she heard Margarets insistent voice:
“So, remember? The café opposite the old halls, next Friday at three. Comeat least Ill have someone to talk to. Otherwise, Ill be alone. Will you?”
Margarets voice faltered unexpectedly, and without knowing why, Nadine agreed.
“Alright, Ill come.”
Hanging up, she instantly regretted it. She glanced in the mirror, picked up the phone againshed call back, say shed spoken too soon.
But Margarets line was busy, and Nadine suddenly felt awkward.
Late that evening, she opened her wardrobe and pulled out the blue dress Timmy had bought for his wedding.
He and Natasha had practically dragged her shopping, her future daughter-in-law exhausting her with fittings.
Finally, this blue dress won them all overeven Nadine. They found matching shoes, then Natasha took her to a salon for a dye and styling.
That was a year ago. Timmy and Natasha lived happily on their own now.
But her roots had grown out againwho was there to impress? It felt silly, dressing up for no one.
Still, Nadine styled her hair, slipped into the blue dress hanging in her wardrobe, dabbed on lipstickthen wiped it off. Too bold.
The café buzzed when she arrived on time. Margaret spotted her instantly, rushing over. “Nadine! Youre gorgeousIm so glad you came!”
Margaret had softened with age, but it suited her, even made her look younger.
They chatted at their table until someone distracted Margaret. Nadine sipped juice, scanning the room, listening to music.
Someone had gone all outthe songs from their student days played, when they were young, dreaming of brilliant futures.
“May I have this dance?”
Nadine looked up, recognising the voice at once.
It was Alex Sawyer from the parallel group. Hed married in their third yearNadine had fancied him back then.
“Youre beautiful, Nadine. First reunion Ive attended, and I dont know anyoneexcept you. I knew you straight away.”
Alex offered his hand. She took it, rising, catching Margarets stunned glance as they moved to the floor.
They danced several songs in silence. Then Alex asked softly,
“Nadine, may I walk you home? Just to be clearIve been divorced for years. But if youve someone waiting Ill just see you back. Its late.”
Alex walked her home that night, but they met again the next dayand never parted after.
Natasha helped Nadine pick her wedding dress and shoes. She was glowing, expectingNadine would soon be a grandmother.
And yet here she was, the bride.
Natasha whispered,
“Nadine, youre stunning! Tim and I are so happy for you. Happiness isnt forbidden at any age.”
Sitting at the wedding table, Nadine glanced at her husband, Alex, and thoughtperhaps now, at last, she could allow herself this.
Nadine had finally forgiven herselfand let herself be happy.
