Yesterday, I read a story on Facebook that really caught my attention and got me thinking about family, tradition, and the meaning behind sentimental gifts. I thought Id jot down my thoughts on it in my diary tonight.
The gist of the story was about an English girl named Emily. Her mum had given her her grandmother’s ring. Now, this wasnt one of those beautiful vintage pieces brimming with charm and mysteryit was, if Im honest, rather odd-looking, and much too big for Emilys finger. She admits shed never have worn it. Since the ring belonged to her now, Emily figured she had the right to do with it as she pleased. Without much thought, she took the ring to a local jeweller in London and, after paying some extra pounds, exchanged it for a modern piece she actually liked.
She was so pleased with herself that she rang her mum to share the good news. But what she got wasn’t congratulationsher mum was furious.
How could you do that? her mum cried. How could you sell grandmothers ring without even asking me? Its not just a ring, Emily! Its a memento, part of our familys story.
Emily tried to explain, quite reasonably, that it was hers to decide, but her mum wouldnt hear it. Emotion got the better of both and the call ended abruptly. Later, her mum called again but Emily, still angry, refused to answer. Instead, her mum sent a text message. Only then did Emily realise that, in her mums eyes, the ring was never a straightforward gift. It was supposed to be entrusted to her for safekeeping, not for altering or selling.
It struck me as a tough situation. Honestly, it felt strange that her mum gave it with strings attached. Either a gift is given, or it isnt. To complicate matters, Emilys grandmother is still alive, but her relationships with both Emily and her mum are tense. So, really, what sort of keepsake is it, in the end?
I reflected on this as I read. Personally, I cannot imagine ever getting rid of something thats essentially a family heirloom, even if its not a dazzling piece. It may be more kitsch than fine jewellery but still, its part of our history. Even if its never worn, its uncommon these daysfuture generations might marvel at what their ancestors wore. Fashion goes around in circles; you never know what might become coveted again. For a daughter, its a tangible memory of her mum, once shes goneand of her grandmother, too.
Yet Emily swapped it, preferring something trendy. Honestly, I wouldnt even comment on the quality of todays gold jewellery. If you must, you can always have an old piece reshaped by a skilful jewellerthen you preserve the memory and have a lovely adornment that doesnt sit unused in a drawer. It continues to charm and gets handed down, still holding its story.
Or, of course, you can simply buy your own jewellery and leave the family ring in peace.
I admit, I side with Emilys mum and I understand her upset. I dont think she realised her daughter wouldnt instinctively grasp the importance of such family memories and the etiquette that goes with them. Its not considered proper, even to get rid of ordinary presents, let alone a grandmothers ring.
Yet, I can see Emilys point, too. Maybe shes just not sentimental by nature. Shes the sort who prefers things to be used, not stored away. Walk around any car boot sale in England and youll find heaps of family mementos that, eventually, became unwanted by someone. Perhaps its healthier to live in the present rather than cling to family history. If Emily doesnt feel the need for memories, is it fair to blame her? Maybe her mum never passed down those simple truths.
All in all, its a knotty questionone of those dilemmas that unfold in every family, sooner or later.
