Hasty Farewell: A Goodbye from the Car and the Return Home
He stepped out of the car and bid his lover a tender goodbye before driving home. Upon arrival, he lingered outside the building for a moment, mentally rehearsing how to break the news to his wife. He climbed the stairs and unlocked the door.
“Hello,” called Edward. “Are you home, Beatrice?”
“I am,” replied his wife, tone flat. “Hello. Should I start frying the steaks?”
Edward promised himself hed be directconfident and firm, as a man ought to be! It was time to end his double life before his lovers kisses lost their warmth, before he was swallowed again by the monotony of everyday routine.
“Beatrice,” Edward cleared his throat, “Ive come to say we must part ways.”
Beatrice took the news surprisingly calmly. She had always been unshakable, which was why Edward affectionately called her “Frosty Bea.”
“Really?” asked Beatrice from the kitchen doorway. “So, youd rather I didnt fry the steaks, then?”
“As you like,” said Edward. “Fry them if you want, dont if you dont. Im leavingIm with someone else.”
After such a declaration, most wives would hurl something at their husband. But Beatrice wasnt like most.
“Right, you and your whims,” she replied. “Did you fetch my boots from the repair shop?”
“No,” Edward faltered. “If it matters, I can go get them now!”
“Oh, Edward,” murmured Beatrice. “Send a fool to fetch boots, and youll get the worn-out pair back.”
Edward was offended. His big announcement wasnt going as planned. Where was the emotion? But what else could he expect from a wife nicknamed Frosty Bea?
“Beatrice, are you even listening?” he snapped. “Im leaving. Im moving in with another woman, and all you care about are boots!”
“Fine,” said Beatrice. “Unlike me, youre free to go wherever you please. Your boots arent at the shop. Nothings holding you back.”
Theyd been married a long time, yet Edward still couldnt tell if she was serious or sarcastic. Back then, hed fallen for Beatrice because of her gentle nature, her knack for avoiding conflict, and her economy of words. Not to mention her domestic skills and striking looks.
Beatrice was steady, loyal, and cold as an anchor. But now Edward loved anothera fiery, forbidden passion! It was time to dot the is and cross the ts and start anew.
“Beatrice, I thank you for everything, but Im leaving. I love another woman, not you.”
“What a shock!” Beatrice exclaimed. “You dont love mehow original! My mother fancied the neighbour, my father loved dominoes and whisky. Look how I turned out.”
Edward knew arguing with Beatrice was futile. Every word of hers carried weight. His resolve wavered, and he refused to be drawn in.
“Youre wonderful, Beatrice,” he said wearily. “But I love anotherwildly, recklessly. Im leaving, understand?”
“Another?” she asked. “Is it Elizabeth Fairfax?”
Edward stiffened. A year ago, hed had a fling with Elizabeth, but he never thought Beatrice knew!
“How did you?” he began, then stopped. “Never mind. Its not her.”
Beatrice yawned.
“Perhaps its Sophie Aldridge? Fancy moving in with her?”
A chill ran down Edwards spine. Hed also had an affair with Sophie, but that was in the past. If Beatrice knew, why had she stayed silent? Ah, yesshe was ironclad, impossible to rattle.
“No, not Sophie or Elizabeth. Its someone else, the woman of my dreams. I cant live without her, and Im going. Dont try to stop me!”
“Then it must be Sonia,” muttered Beatrice. “Oh, Edward what a poorly kept secret! Your dream woman is Sonia Harris. Thirty-five, one child, two miscarriages Am I right?”
Edward clutched his head. Shed nailed it! He was indeed seeing Sonia Harris.
“But how did you know?” he stammered. “Did someone tell you? Were you following me?”
“Simple, Edward,” said Beatrice. “Im a gynaecologist, and Ive examined nearly every woman in this townwhile you, only a few. It didnt take much to catch you out.”
Edward straightened up.
“Suppose youre right! Even if it is Sonia, it changes nothing. Im going to her.”
“Youre a fool, Edward,” said Beatrice. “You couldve at least asked me first! You know, theres nothing special about Soniamedically speaking, anyway. Seen her records?”
“N-no” Edward admitted.
“Well then! Go shower immediately. Tomorrow, Ill ring Dr. Whitmorehell see you at the clinic without delay,” said Beatrice. “Then well talk. Honestly, a doctors husband ought to pick a healthier mistress!”
“What should I do?” Edward asked, deflated.
“Ill fry the steaks,” said Beatrice. “You go shower and do as you please. If youre after the perfect woman, trouble-free, come to meI know a few candidates”
