This weekend I invited my old friends from secondary school over to my new house. I couldnt help feeling excited. Its taken me a full ten years of relentless effort to get hereno holidays, no breaks, and driving that faithful old Ford every day. But at last, I did it.
I spent the afternoon sorting out a proper barbecue, picked up their favourite ale from the local off-licence, and made sure everything looked just right. I really hoped theyd be happy for me, that we could celebrate together. Instead, the mood felt oddly heavy, awkward. The conversation was lukewarm, brittle.
As I gave them the tour, not once did I hear a well done or congratulations. Instead, the comments began:
Blimey, its out of the way, isnt it? Dont you get fed up with all that traffic on the M25?
Gardens on the small side. Weve got enough space at ours to put in a pool. (Mind you, hes renting.)
Hope the company doesnt let you go, mate. Bet the mortgage is a killer.
They ate, drank, and left early. As I closed the door behind them, the house suddenly felt far too big and quiet. Guilt crept in, as if I had no right to be proud of myself.
I rang Dad the next day and told him how it all went. He just chuckled and told me something that changed my view completely:
Son, have you ever seen lobsters in a bucket? If one tries to climb out, the others always drag it back down.
Everything clicked into place then. My mates arent bad people. My progress just throws a spotlight on what they havent managed to do. My new house isnt a win for themits an uncomfortable reminder of their own lack of change.
A week later, I asked David over we met just two years ago as business partners, not childhood pals. Hes doing even better than I am, to be honest. When he walked in and saw the place, his face lit up. He pulled me into a bear hug and said, This is brilliant, mate! You made it! Cant wait to hear how you pulled this off!
David wasnt jealous. He was genuinely inspired.
The harsh truth is this:
Pay attention to who wont clap for you when you succeed. Some people love you, but only when you stay at their levelit makes them feel more at ease. When you progress, some friendships just drop away. Thats simply the price of moving forward.
Dont beat yourself up about it. You havent lost friendsyouve dropped a weight you didnt need. Stick with those who cheer you on, whose own light isnt dimmed by yours. Let yourself shine.
