My gran wasnt a very nice person, to be honest, sometimes she could be downright awful.
My mum and dad split up really early on, I was just a little girlI have absolutely no memory of my dad. When I was five, we moved in with my grandmother and she pretty much raised me for the rest of my childhood.
Gran was a tough one. Her main demands were for me to be obedient and hard-working. I honestly cant think of a single fond memory with her.
People often talk about their childhood with nostalgia, but Id rather not remember mine at all. Theres nothing worth reminiscing about. Mum wasnt much help, either. We had nowhere to escape to, it was the nineties in Englandhard times. All I could do was dream about money and work, and I simply had to make do. Gran was always bossing mum and me about to make sure everything went her way.
Thats how we lived. Out in public, wed put on a show, pretending everything was perfectly fine.
By the time I was in Year Five, my mums life started looking up. She met a man and moved in with him, and after a year, I went to live with them, too. My stepdad didnt particularly care for me, but he wasnt mean or anything. Compared to the constant arguments I had with gran, living with mum and my stepdad felt like a breath of fresh air.
Gran didnt approve of mums relationship, but mum took advantage of the chance to finally break free from our skirted tyrant. After that, they stopped contacting one another.
These days, I call gran every now and again.
I ring her up once a month, but I have to brace myself for ages before I actually pick up the phone. I keep things brief and talk about random, inconsequential stuff. To avoid a flood of negativity, I stick to the good news; usually, we just swap a few pleasantries and nothing more. Twice a year, on her birthday and for Christmas, I bring her flowers and cake. Half an hour is all I can handle. Thats pretty much how we communicate.
My life now is actually quite lovelyIve got a partner I adore, a little one, and a close-knit family. Recently, my husband and I decided to take out a mortgage on a flat in another city. Last year, gran turned 80.
Before that, she was quite spry and managed her home all by herself. Lately, though, things havent been going so well.
Grans become withdrawn, barely manages to get out of the house, let alone cook for herself. Most days she just lies in bed, though she can still shuffle around inside. Shes been really unwell recently, and her neighbours have been helping her with everything. The situations got to a point where she actually needs proper care.
Gran has loads of distant relatives who now ring me up all the time, giving me grief! Apparently, they cant get in touch with mum (she and her husband live abroad), so they seem to think its all down to me.
But honestly, I know exactly what kind of nightmare itd be. Yes, shes the one who raised me, who looked after me and taught me, so supposedly its my turn to repay the debt. And I really dont want to. She never showed me any love as a child. Ive managed to let go of all my bitterness about her behaviour towards me, but I cant forgive her. Still, I feel guiltydeep down, I know I ought to help the old lady.
Finding a carer would be the best solution, but I just dont have the funds for that. With a young child and a mortgage, and my son being sick a lot, theres not much left over.
So, what should I do?
Is it really the granddaughters responsibility to look after her elderly gran, or is she within her rights to refuseespecially if shes not expecting any inheritance? She doesnt want anything from her gran, not even the house.
