My daughter married an Englishman, and I lived with them in London for two years, helping to look after my grandson and managing the household.
Both my daughter and her husband worked at the same company, usually returning home late in the evening. I honestly hoped I might stay with them for good, but that was wishful thinking on my part. One afternoon, my son-in-law announced, quite bluntly, that they no longer needed my help and asked that I move out. Within a month, I found myself back in my own flat in Manchester. To my dismay, I quickly realised I wasnt exactly welcomed back here either. While Id been away in London, my son had separated from his first wife, left her flat, and moved back into mine.
And as if that wasnt enough, he brought his new wife with himshes already expecting. Not once did he think to check with me before making himself at home.
What am I supposed to do? Throw my son and his pregnant wife out on the street? Of course not. But how are three of ussoon fourmeant to manage in a one-bed flat? For that matter, neither my son nor I can afford to rent anywhere else, given the price of these places. I rang my daughter and explained the whole mess, hoping for a bit of understanding or maybe a suggestion. Nothing. Not a call back. A shame, but I suppose were just on different wavelengths.
I suppose I can understand my sons behaviourhe probably never thought Id come back. Now Im living out of a suitcase, sleeping on the sofa bed in the kitchen. I try to stay out of the house during the day. Most days Ill pop out for groceries or wander round my old workplace, catching up with friends from years ago. My son and I chat civilly enough, never any rows, but his wife barely acknowledges I exist. Its obvious she resents me being there at all.
Never did I imagine that at sixty Id feel surplus to requirements in my own home, with someone else running the place. My son is entirely wrapped up in his wifes pregnancy and doesnt spare a thought for our living situation.
Im hunting for a part-time job, but nothings turned up yet. My daughter-in-laws family still lives out in the countryside. Should I suggest she moves back home to her parents? But would my son be able to find work out there? Doubtful. I just cant decide what to do
Looking back, I suppose my lessons clear: family ties are complicated, and kindness doesnt always guarantee you a place at the table. Sometimes, you have to find your own way, even if it means starting from scratch.
