My daughter married an Englishman. I lived with them for two years, looking after my grandson and managing the household.
Both my daughter and her husband worked at the same firm and would return home in the evenings. I had hoped I could stay with them for good, but as it turned out, my hopes were in vain. One day, my son-in-law told me that they no longer required my help and politely asked me to move out. Within a month, I was back at my own flat in Birmingham. However, I soon found out I wasn’t much welcome here either. While Id been staying with my daughter, my son had separated from his first wife, left her flat, and moved into mine.
He soon brought along his second wife, who was already expecting a baby. Never once did he think to ask me for permission.
What was I supposed to do? Ask my son and his pregnant wife to leave? Of course not. But how are we meant to live as threesoon fourin a one-bedroom flat? To add to the worry, neither of us has enough money to rent another place. I phoned my daughter, hoping she would understand our predicament and perhaps ring me back with a solution. She never did. It’s a shame, but I cant change the way they see thingsthey have a different outlook on life.
My sons behaviour, in fairness, is easy to explain. He never expected Id be back. Now my own bed is a sofa in the kitchen. During the day, I leave the flatI run errands, visit my old workplace in the city, and chat with former colleagues. My son and I speak as usualno argumentsbut his wife ignores me completely. Its obvious my presence makes her uncomfortable.
Never did I imagine that, at sixty years old, I would become unnecessary, and another would rule over my home. My son is only concerned about his pregnant wife and gives no thought at all to our cramped living situation.
I’m searching for part-time work now. My daughter-in-laws parents live out in the countryside. Should I ask her to move in with them? But would my son find work there? I doubt it. I simply can’t figure out what the right thing to do is
Yet perhaps the difficulty isnt only mine. Life changes, and so do peoples hearts. Sometimes, learning to let go and make space for otherseven if its painfulis the wisest thing we can do. And sometimes, when answers seem out of reach, all we can do is carry on with patience, kindness, and hope that better days will come.
