I dont get it, Olivia, arent you happy to see me? Margaret huffed, hands on hips, announcing her plan to move in with the young couple while her flat underwent renovations.
And who knows how long itll take! A month, maybe sixdepends how much I like it here. Renovations, you know how they areno need to rush!
Olivia had fought tooth and nail to convince her husband, James, to live separately from his parents. The first few months after the wedding, hed refused to move out of his childhood home.
Liv, whats the problem? hed say. Weve got our own room, no one bothers us. Why waste money on rent?
James, are you seriously fine with this? Your mother, forgive me, has no sense of boundaries! Yesterday, she barged into the bathroom while I was showering, left the door wide open, yanked back the curtain, and screeched, Like Ive never seen it before!
James just laughed. Mums always been like that. Lives alone, never locks doors. Give it timethe sale on my flat should go through soon. The buyers needed a couple more months to get the full amount. Once its sold, well add your parents gift and move out. No point renting now.
Olivia endured it. Margaret was indeed relentlessalways speaking first, thinking later.
You could stand to lose a few pounds, Margaret would announce every morning. Those love handles arent doing you any favours. When I got married, I weighed barely seven stone. Jamess father? I could span his waist with two fingers!
*What on earth made you both let yourselves go, then?* Olivia thought. *Is she trying to crawl under my skin? God, just let us move already.*
The flat sold, the money was added, and a new home was bought. Olivia left Margarets with tears of joy. She couldnt believe the torment was over.
Peace didnt last. Margaret, missing her son, began inviting herself over regularly.
James, *please*, can we have one weekend without your mother? Olivia begged. I cant take her chatterafter three hours, Ive got blisters on my tongue! She doesnt just talk, she *demands* responses!
Liv, what am I supposed to do? Open the door and say, Lovely seeing you, off you pop!? Shed be devastated. And were all the family each others got.
Then Olivia got pregnant. Margaret tripled her efforts. With too much free time, she shadowed her daughter-in-lawshopping, doctors visits, even inviting herself to the ultrasound.
Thats my grandchild! she beamed at the doctor. Print an extra photoI want one for my album!
Before the birth, Olivia mustered the courage for a confrontation.
Margaret, I know you want to stay central to Jamess life, but lets agree nowno unsolicited advice on raising *my* child. I wont tolerate it.
Margaret sulked but didnt argue. She seemed to grasp Olivias seriousness.
When little Amelia was born, Margaret gathered distant relatives and descended unannounced. No one was preparedJames had just brought his exhausted family home.
Knew it, Margaret grumbled, squeezing into the hallway with bulging bags. Told you, Sharon, we shouldve brought food! They werent expecting us!
Mum, a heads-up wouldve been nice, James groaned. Whos cooking now?
Dont backchat your mother, Margaret snapped. Well whip something up. Wheres Olivia?
Resting. Hospital sleeps rubbish. Keep it downAmelias asleep too.
Four years in, Olivia had endured enough. But nothing prepared her for the renovation.
James, Margaret declared over the phone, my flat needs freshening up. These faded walls are depressing! Find me a decorator.
Sure, Mum, James agreed. But why now?
Times up! Nothings been done in years. While they work, Ill stay with you. Move Amelias daybedI want to room with my grandchild.
Olivia nearly fainted. Why *us*? Lets rent her a placeIll pay! Just keep her out!
Suggesting she rent would be a mortal insult. Shed never let me hear the end of it. Two weeks, tops.
Two months later, Margaret was still there.
Mum found flaws, James sighed. Says the paint doesnt match the swatch. Made them redo it.
Shes dragging it out! Living heres a holidaybreakfast on demand, hour-long showers, three-hour phone chats. Then she critiques my cooking! Im losing my mind!
Hang in there. Im exhausted too. But we cant chuck her out.
Margaret had no intention of leaving.
Then, by accident, she gave Olivia an idea.
You should *worship* me! Margaret declared. Im a dream mother-in-lawno meddling. Though your methods? Questionable. *My* mother-in-law? A nightmare! Insufferable!
Olivia brightened. *Thats it.* The only curb on Margaret? Someone worse.
She called Jamess grandmother, Edith, and spilled everything.
Edith, Im at breaking point. I swear Margarets *trying* to move in. James eats fried eggs now*hates* them, but Mum says!
James *loathes* eggs, Edith mused. Right. Ill come. My sonll drive me. Heavy artillerys on its way.
Margaret, oblivious, was holding court in the kitchen when the doorbell rang.
Whos visiting without James? Shameless! Ill give them a piece of my mind!
She flung the door openand froze.
Margaret, is that you? Goodness, youve aged! No wonder my son left. Hes your age and looks decades younger. FunnyI just saw a coat by the bins, identical to the one you wore when you first came round. Take this cakeoh wait, no. Sugars bad at your age.
Margaret paled. Within the hour, shed packed, called a cab, and fled.
Supervising the decorators myself! Useless lottaking *forever*!
Olivia laughed. Edith, youve saved us.
Margarets always been a limpetonce she latches on, good luck prying her off. Quick cuppa, then Im off.
Margaret knew exactly whod orchestrated her nightmare. She stewed for months before tentative, *announced* visits resumed.
Olivia would always be grateful to Edith. Shed rescued their family.
