Alice was in the middle of making some homemade chutney when her husband came back from work. “I’m home,” called out David, stepping into the kitchen and then stopping dead in his tracks. “What on earth is going on here?”
“What do you mean? Im making chutney, just as you asked,” Alice replied, smiling.
“I’m asking, what is all this?” David waved his arm at the chaos filling the kitchen.
“What are you getting at, love? Honestly, could you explain yourself?” she said, slightly bemused.
“Dont pretend you dont know. You know exactly what I mean,” he retorted, now obviously annoyed.
Alice only stared back at him, baffled.
—
Not long after, they had one of those arguments you hope never happens between two people living together. A proper row, enough that Alice came by a week later just to pick up her things.
“Are you back, then, Alice? Im so glad to see you,” David said, voice full of hope as she walked into their flat.
“No, David. Im here to collect the rest of my stuff! Were over, I told you that,” she snapped.
“How can you say that, Alice? I love you! I dont want to split up. This weeks been hell without you!”
A week earlier, it all boiled over because David came home and found the kitchen in complete disarray. Alice was trying to bottle up her chutney bowls and jars everywhere, splashes of tomato pulp covering the hob, little saucers dotted about with garlic, chillies, and all sorts. Ten-litre pot on the go, mess in every corner you know how it gets.
Meanwhile, Alice just quietly chopped peppers, acting as though everything was perfectly normal.
Theyd moved in together four months earlier. David had been living solo for ages and, for Alice, it felt like the perfect time, now her grown-up daughter had flown the nest and was working full-time. David had a ten-year-old son from his first marriage, but he rarely saw him since the lad lived in another city with his mum.
On paper, it all seemed so right meeting someone your own age who made you feel as comfortable and at home as being on your own, but somehow better.
At first, Alice genuinely thought David was the one. When hed suggested she move in, she happily gave up her rented place, imagining happy years together, maybe even getting old side by side.
She really made an effort doing her best to be a good partner, cooking up treats for him, even at the end of a hard day. Sometimes she didnt know where she got the energy, but she convinced herself it must be love.
And for a little while, it really was. Shed rush home before David to tidy round and make dinner. She worked, too only finishing about an hour earlier but somehow got everything done.
But little things began to change. After a couple of months, David started coming home in foul moods, picking at this and that. Mug wasnt washed straight away? Not happy. Floor not mopped? Grumble, grumble. Bed not made quite right? Moan. It was exhausting. Surely those things didnt matter that much? The house was spotless, lovely supper on the table, and your partner waiting with a smile what more could you want?
At first, Alice ignored the griping, hoping it would pass. Maybe he needed to get used to living with someone again. She kept quiet, just put her back into it. Deep down, she started to feel unappreciated and, frankly, a bit cross.
When she did her winter preserves like the chutney she usually made sure to get it all done while David was out. He often spent weekends helping his cousin with car repairs. That day, though, hed popped home unexpectedly and caught the kitchen mid-chaos, just as the fruit and tomatoes were being bottled up all that mess, soon to become neat rows of jars under a cosy towel.
“Alice, Ill sort it all out in just a minute!”
“Course you will! Or youll just leave it for me, as usual!” David said, exasperated.
“Have you ever seen me leave a mess behind after cooking? Wheres all this animosity coming from?”
“Its boiling in here and the smell is everywhere!”
“Then dont come in. Watch telly in the lounge!”
“Im hungry! What is there to eat?”
“Ill warm something up for you, just give me a minute!” Alice answered, doing her best not to lose her temper.
“What, pasta and those same meatballs Ive had for three days running?”
“So what? I cant do everything at once! The chutney wont make itself, you know. You did ask for it. Ive been up and down to the shop all day. Im roasting too, and now youre having a go about nothing!”
“Stop having a go at me!” David barked.
“Me? Im trying to calm you down! Enough already!”
“Had it up to here!” he huffed.
That was the last straw for Alice.
“What exactly have you had enough of? Coming home to a hot dinner? Sleeping in a warm bed with clean sheets? Someone greeting you with a smile? Me keeping quiet even when youre out of order? Or maybe youre just tired of me in general? Go on, say it!”
“Yes, I am! Keep your dinners, your clean laundry, and your bloody chutney!”
“You know what? Im tired of your constant moaning, David! Youre a pessimist and it drags me down! You leave your stuff all over and then complain about mess. You wont even wash a plate but then blame me for cooking. I asked you to give me a lift to the greengrocer but you were too busy helping Tom! Its you whos winding me up!”
David clearly didnt take to criticism or maybe it was just Alices weary, raised voice but that was it. He completely lost it, and Alice realised she didnt want to stick around to find out what would happen next.
“Were done!” she said, and walked straight out of the kitchen.
Her hands shook as she packed whatever she could into two suitcases, changed into jeans, and left the flat. David just stood there and let her go not a word, not a sorry.
Alice spent that night at her best friends, then rented herself a new place the next day. It cost a small fortune rent, agents fee, picking up a few essentials for her new flat but it was worth it.
The thought of going back never crossed her mind. At least, not for the first few days. By the fourth, the sadness started to set in. She replayed their argument, remembering every word. They were both in the wrong, she knew that.
No, she knew she couldnt just forgive it all like nothing had happened, but it still weighed heavy on her.
David didnt call, didnt come round. Only sent one message, the night she left.
“So, what am I supposed to do with all this chutney?”
“Do what you like with it! I dont care!” she shot back. And honestly, she did care a bit, having spent all that money and effort half an hour more and it would have been done.
Even now, she wouldnt admit to herself that shed hoped David might realise what hed lost, maybe come and find her, or at the very least call and apologise. But he didnt.
A week passed and she got used to being on her own again. She told herself it was time to pick up the rest of her bits from their place and return the keys.
She could have come by when David was out, but she chose to come while he was there half an hour before, shed messaged to say she was coming round. He answered the door looking guilty and strangely sad but it didnt melt her heart, no matter how heavy her chest felt.
David tried to say he loved her and didnt want to split up, but his actions hadnt matched his words. If he really cared, would he have left her alone all that time? Wouldnt he have made the effort?
Alice just looked at him, trying to calm the storm inside. She thought, If he did this once, hed do it again.
“Stop lying to yourself, and to me,” she said quietly. “If you really loved me, youd have done more than nothing.”
“Im sorry, Alice. I really am! I dont know what got into me that day!”
“Well, thats your burden to carry. Im just here for my things.”
She brushed past him, grabbed some bags shed brought, and set about gathering what shed left last week: shampoos and conditioners from the bathroom, her favourite tea bags David never touched, a pink mug her daughter gave her two years ago, the knitted rug her sister bought for her birthday.
She carried each bag into the hallway, ready for her new place. David hovered, muttering apologies, but it was too late. A week of silence that said everything.
If hed loved her like he claimed, hed have picked up the phone.
Once everything was packed, Alice ordered a taxi. David blocked the door, desperate. “Please, dont go. I wont manage without you!”
“And Ill be lost if I stay,” she said, moving him gently aside to unlock the door.
She left. David stood frozen, trying to work out where it had all gone wrong. Maybe he never did. They never saw each other again. Amazing, really, considering they used to tell each other sweet things about love.
Alice sat in the back of the taxi, staring out as the English autumn whirled past. It felt autumnal inside, too a bit cold, bittersweet. Suddenly, she remembered autumn was her favourite time of year. Her birthday was in two weeks.
“Itll be all right,” she whispered to herself, even managing a small smile. “It will all be all right.”
