Dear Diary,
Today Evelyn burst with joy when she saw me pull up the drive. My boy, youre home! she shouted, clapping her hands. I shuffled my flat cap at the doorstep and called out, Hey, mum, Im not alone. I nudged a thin lad, spectacles perched on his nose and a schoolbag slung over his shoulder, forward.
Whats his name, darling? Is he Tom or Jack? I cant tell without his glasses, Evelyn cooed, settling into an armchair. Put the coat on, love. This is Walter, mywell, my illegitimate son. Remember when I and Emily were apart for a year? I fell in with Val I paused, sighing, and Walter was born. I foolishly put his name on my own birth register.
Evelyn snapped at me, Dont talk about that in front of a child. Hes too young to know about your messy past. Walter, go to the lounge and have a look at the telly while we sort things out with your dad.
The boy slipped out silently and headed upstairs. Evelyn whispered, Does Emily know about him? She had never been fond of her sons wife, calling her a quarrelsome shrew. My heart thudded. What are you saying, mother? If shed found out shed have thrown us out long ago. I built him from the ground up with my own hands.
She huffed, Youre such a rogue, not a proper man. Always under Emilys heel. How could you bring a secret child into our lives? Emily will find out and it wont end well for me.
I tried to explain, voice trembling, Val was a snake. She was about to marry another man, ran off south for a month, then called me. She said, Take the boy wherever you like, even home. I told her Id go mad I have a wife, shed throw us out. She warned Id get a nasty end if I didnt cooperate. I handed over Walters birth certificate and hoped to be done with it. She barely spoke to me for six months. I thought Id let him stay with you a month, then come back for him, I said, not meeting my mothers eyes.
Evelyn shook her head, Youve been the same troublemaker since childhood. If anything goes wrong, Ill have to help. So, what do you want me to do with him? She hesitated, Is he really yours?
I waved my hand, Hes mine, no doubt. Vals not a saint, but shes loyal.
Silence fell. Evelyn sprang up, Enough standing about. Lets get him something to eat.
I rose, Sorry, Mum, Ive got to be off. Emilys waiting at home. I told her I was heading into town for spare parts. Feed Walter and Ill be on my way.
Evelyn clutched my arm, whispering, Take care, my dear son.
Walter gobbled his food without looking away from the plate. More? Evelyn asked, pity in her tone as she watched him finish.
No, thank you, he replied, rising from the table. Ill step outside for a walk while you finish dinner. Whats in your bag? she asked.
Things, he muttered.
Will you wash them yourself or should I help? Evelyn offered.
For the first time his eyes flickered with fear. I cant. Mum always did the laundry.
Evelyn lifted his small rucksack, Alright, Ill rinse them. She sorted through a couple of Tshirts, a pair of shorts and some underwear, noting, Not many, not even a warm jumper. Typical mothers neglect. She soaked the clothes in a basin and turned to bake a cherry pie.
A shout came from the street. Evelyn dashed out, flour still on her hands. Whats happened? she called.
Walter wailed, clutching his leg. A goose pecked me! It hurts! Tears streamed down his cheeks.
What were you doing? The geese are out in the field, not the back garden, she asked, spotting a bright red bruise.
I just wanted to watch them, he sniffed.
Never got close to geese before? she asked, surprised.
I saw them, but never approached, he whispered.
Alright, lets get you into the house and Ill put some ointment on that, she said, taking his hand.
After dinner, she laid him on the sofa and lay awake, the night ticking onward. She thought of how shed never have sent her own grandson to a strangers house. The childs tiny pants were more valuable than any fine coat. Then she heard a soft sobbing. She leaned close, Whats wrong, love? Dont you like me? She soothed, Give it a month, then your mother will fetch you back.
He lifted his head, voice trembling, She wont. I heard her and Uncle Victor saying theyll send me to a boarding school when they return. Only visits on holidays. I dont want that. I was happy at home with Mum. Uncle Colin doesnt even call me by my name. Youre kind, Grandmother, but Im not needed.
Evelyns heart ached. She wrapped her arms around his frail frame. Dont cry, dear Walter. I wont let anyone hurt you. Ill speak to your mother, and you can stay with me. We have a good school here, teachers who care. Well go mushroompicking, pick berries, milk the cow. Strong milk will give you strength. Youll see tomorrow when I introduce you to Paul a sturdy lad, plump as a scone. Will you come?
He clutched her neck, Ill try. Will you keep your promise?
She kissed his forehead, I promise.
Years passed. Emily would visit now and then, bringing little parcels, always rushed off by Victor. Nicholas turned up sporadically. Emily blamed Evelyn for Walters fate, claiming she didnt need any grandchildren, only the occasional nuisance. Evelyn cared little for the gossip. The skinny boy grew into a robust young man. Each morning she prepared his favourite breakfasts, peering out the kitchen window, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. One day a young soldier entered the house, calling, Grandma, Im here, where are you? Evelyn ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck, Walter, my dear grandson!
Will you go back to mother? she asked. He set down his fork, surprised, Which mother? The one who left me and only sent trinkets once a year? No, I wont go. You are my mother, thats final. He ate calmly while Evelyn, tears hidden, whispered how grateful she was for the grandson who became her pillar in old age.
Looking back, I realise that the tangled webs we weave in youth can only be untangled by honesty and compassion. Ive learned that taking responsibility, even for the mistakes of a reckless past, is the only way to protect those we love. The lesson I carry forward is simple: never hide the truth from those who depend on you, for only truth can bind a family together.
