My wife Victoria once asked why we should take another child into our home when there are already millions of kids in foster families.
Because were a family, I said, here no one would hurt him, and elsewhere you might never even hear about it. Arthur, my brother, had a saying: Where theres one, theres another.
Victoria never imagined I could be so sensitive. The loss of a friends child hit me harder than anything else. No one else wanted to adopt, and I kept begging Victoria to consider it.
—
Lily was a rather late arrival. Her parents were already in their midthirties, her grandparents well into their sixties. She was late, but longawaited, cherished and, lets be honest, a bit spoiled. Whatever she wanted, she got.
Her mornings always began the same way Mum would shake her awake, call her down for breakfast, and lay out her clothes. Today was no different.
Morning, sleepyhead! Mum chirped. How did you sleep? Dream anything?
Even at seven oclock she was bright-eyed.
Morning, Mum. I think I dreamed cant quite remember, Lily mumbled.
Give it time, youll recall and tell us. Now lets eat; weve got a busy day ahead.
The table was piled with fluffy pancakes the kind Grandma used to bring before heading to the clinic and fresh fruit, neatly sliced by Arthur before heading to work. Lily, perched on her little high chair, piled the pancakes onto her plate while chatting about her latest discoveries.
Mum, what should I wear to the school concert? she asked, dipping a pancake into jam.
In a yellow dress, Mum replied.
Again yellow?
How about red? Mum suggested.
Yes, red! Lily declared, already dreaming of the performance a month away.
After breakfast came a walk. Lily was practically bouncing because today marked her first ride on a scooter her grandfather had given her for his birthday. The snow had finally melted and the weather was tolerable a blessing, as Lily couldnt have endured another week of frost.
In her sneakers, Lily bolted into the backyard, Mum almost keeping pace. All the other children gathered around the new scooter, eager to see it and have a go. Lily, beaming, showed off its tricks.
Watch this! she shouted, pushing off on one foot, wobbling a bit. Anyone want a turn?
She lost her balance and tumbled. It was only her fifth attempt; shed only had a few short rides with a friend from nursery. No one laughed.
Your turn? Lily brushed herself off, offering the scooter to the others. One by one they grabbed the handle and tried to imitate her moves. Lily became the little celebrity of the day; many kids begged their parents to buy them a similar scooter.
That evening, when Arthur came home from work, Lily ran to meet him a habit of hers and waited for his surprise.
Surprise! he announced, holding a small box that smelled of sweet things.
Whats inside? Whats inside? Lily squealed.
Arthur handed her the box. Inside were the most delicious chocolate éclairs with cream filling.
Dad, youre the best! Lily shrieked.
After the treats came the favorite activity building with blocks. Lily spread an array of colourful pieces across the floor and set to work on a little princesss house, checking the picture from the advert now and then.
Until she was seven, Lily knew nothing of worry or hardship. Everyone adored her, spoilt her, showered her with presents, and took her wherever she wished.
But one day, when Lily was waiting for Victoria to pick her up from nursery at six, something happened that foreshadowed big changes. Victoria arrived half an hour early earlier than usual and Lily noticed. The nursery supervisor, a friend of Victorias, tried to start a chat:
I watched that film you mentioned last week. Its not really my kind of genre, but theres something about it, and the actor”
Victoria cut her short: Sorry, were in a rush. Well talk later about the film.
In her haste, Lily left her favourite doll at the nursery, her eyes glued to Victoria. Shed never seen Mum act so hurried. Lily couldnt imagine Mum being angry, scared, or upset her childhood had always been sunny.
Back home, Victoria, hair tied back, set Lilys dinner not in the kitchen but in the sitting room, serving cottage cheese with fruit.
Sit here, have a bite, and turn on the cartoon, she said.
Lily only nodded, already thinking about the cartoon and not caring about the adult conversation that might follow. Victoria, trying to be patient, went to the kitchen where Arthur was already waiting.
She started where theyd left off before shed gone to the nursery:
Arthur, we just cant adopt a child, she said, her tone firm, Its just not possible. Its too sudden If we had more time Id think it through, weigh the pros
Arthur, brimming with confidence, replied: What pros? Whats there to discuss? This would be the son of our best friends. He has no relatives, no grandparents like Lilys. Theres a distant uncle, but hes unlikely to take a stranger. If little Charlie ends up in a home, what about Lily?
Victoria shivered, picturing her daughters future, and answered: Theyll find a good foster family
Who guarantees that? Who says itll be good?
Millions of children are already in foster families, and we could be theirs. Why not look for other parents?
Because this is us. Here he wont be hurt, and elsewhere he could be, and wed never know! Where theres one, theres another
Victoria had never realised how sensitive I could be. The death of a friends child moved me more than anything else. No one else wanted the child, and I kept pleading.
Im not ready for this, Victoria said. I love Lily, but I dont know how to handle another baby. Hed need even more attention, and Id have to go back on maternity leave for a year.
Isnt it worth it for Lily and little Vera? Arthur urged. Well manage, Vic. Lilys big enough to help. We have the money. We know how to deal with kids. Well think about a second child sooner or later
When? At fortyfive? Victoria snapped, certain theyd only have one child.
Even at fifty! Arthur laughed.
After a long hesitation, Victoria finally gave in to my pleas.
Six months later, after the endless paperwork, we returned home not alone. In a car seat we brought a boy named Charlie.
Lily, now in primary school, was told a brother was on the way. We tried to assure her it was wonderful and that our love for her wouldnt change.
When Lily saw Arthur cooing over the newborn, an unfamiliar feeling washed over her she realised her father now had another child.
That evening Lily refused to join the celebration.
Victoria, bring more sliced fruit! Arthur shouted from the living room, where relatives were bustling about the table.
On my way! she called back.
Victoria, grab another spoon! called Mum, Agatha, from the kitchen.
Lily hid in her room, bouncing with each shout as if it were her name being called.
Eventually someone asked, Wheres the little lady of the feast?
Lily? Victoria looked around. Probably in her room with the tablet. Shes never coming out now.
Lily had declared a boycott.
Grandparents tried to coax her out, but she stayed put. Her parents seemed to have forgotten her completely, their focus entirely on Charlie.
It was clear that the chapter where Lily reigned supreme at home had ended. Now everything had to be shared: attention, games, gifts.
Dad, who used to always find time for her, now spent most of his evenings soothing Charlie, playing with him, or showing him picture books. Mum, who had been Lilys best friend, was now occupied with the baby.
One night Arthur came home with a new toy for Charlie a bright plastic tractor. Lily, spotting it, ran over and shouted, What about me? What did you buy for me?
Arthur, caught offguard, managed a nervous smile. Ah, Lily, sorry, I completely forgot. Well get you something tomorrow, I promise.
From then on Lily stopped meeting Arthur at the door. He simply didnt think of her.
Mum, who used to always have time for Lily, was now busy with Charlie all day.
Mum, can you help me with maths? I dont get it, Lily would ask.
Hold on, love, Mum would reply, trying to get Charlie to brush his teeth, Well finish this and Ill be right with you.
But Lily fell asleep before Mum could even start bedtime with Charlie, and later shed start the washing machine and prep a simple snack for the next day.
Whenever Lily tried to talk about school, Mum would apologize, asking her to wait while she calmed a feverish Charlie, who was crying and turning red, needing a doctors call.
Over time Lilys resentment toward Charlie grew to a peak. The little boy who should have been just a brother now felt like a rival for their parents attention. There was no talk of friendship.
Its a relief I dont have to share a room with him, Lily told a friend.
Lucky you, replied Anne.
Whats so lucky about it? Lily asked.
Its not sharing a room! Youve got a triplebedroom, Ive got two little sisters in one room! Whos worse off?
Whos worse off, really?
Charlie had turned seven. Lily was on the brink of thirteen, and her hatred only deepened. Before, Charlie might have stolen a bit of parental focus, but they still cared for him. Now, as a firstgrader, he could no longer be ignored.
Lily, what are you doing? Charlie peeked into her room.
Sleeping!
Want to play?
No!
One day Charlie burst in with a water pistol, intending to aim at the curtain above Lilys head, but missed and splashed her notebook instead.
Dont ever come into my room! Lily shouted, throwing him out.
It was an accident! he protested.
Youre the mistake! she snapped back.
Then he threatened, Ill tell Mum.
She can tell all she likes, Lily sneered. Lets see what happens. Youre supposed to be quiet, as if youre a charity case! Youre an adopted child! She slammed the door.
That was the moment Charlie learned he was adopted. Hed find out the truth later, when he was ready, but for now he was unaware.
That night, after the parents returned, Lily was punished.
No phones or tablets, Arthur declared. For a month. No, for six months! And youll never see us buy you any gifts again! How could you think that was okay?
Charlie burst into tears beside Mum.
Whats the point of lying? We brought in a stray, and youve forgotten about your own daughter! Arthur raised his hand at Lily for the first time in his life.
In the morning he tried to apologise, but Lily, ignoring him, grabbed her boots and jacket and fled to school.
Victoria clanged a fork against a plate. Well done, she said to me, topflight performance. Now youve practically lost a daughter.
Its not that bad. Well talk later, I replied.
It wont be forgiven, Victoria muttered, hugging herself. Its not that you hit her; its how we treat her. I try to talk to her, but its not enough. We never truly loved Charlie, and in saving him we lost Lily.
Do you want to change? I asked.
I dont know! she snapped. Im attached to Charlie; hes a lovely boy, but I still feel he isnt my child.
Im a good mother! Arthur scoffed. Five years raising a son and not loving him?
I warned you this would be too much, but Ive turned everything upside down trying to give Charlie a proper life, and its failed! Bon appétit.
The strain between us had been building for years. Victoria seemed to suspect something. As Charlie grew, he began to look more and more like Arthur hair, eyes, gait, even mannerisms. She wondered if there was more to it.
The mother she confided in, an older lady, smiled and said, Darling, it happens. Adopted children often resemble their adoptive parents. Nothing unusual.
I know, but Charlie looks exactly like him, Victoria whispered.
Just a coincidence, the woman replied.
Victoria couldnt shake the feeling that Arthur had once been involved with Charlies birth mother, a friend who had died tragically. Arthur had mourned her deeply. Friends are friends, but there was something she had ignored.
One day Victoria decided to run a DNA test.
The results came quickly and confirmed her worst fear: Charlie was Arthurs biological son.
She took Lily from school and drove to her mothers house, unwilling to face Arthur. She realised her marriage was a sham; Arthur and his former partner Vera had been having an affair. First Arthur raised someone elses child, now Victoria was doing the same.
Her elderly mother, shocked, said, Victoria, dont tear everything apart. You have two children. Charlie is now yours in every way. What will you tell him? Will you say youre no longer his mother?
Ill still see Charlie, Victoria replied.
What about Lily?
Victoria could barely admit it, but Lily hadnt been upset about losing her father or brother.
Forgive Arthur, Lily overheard. When did this happen?
He handed us a child Victoria whispered.
Maybe if hed told us sooner we could have forgiven him, but now, Lily muttered, halflistening.
Time had ended childhood for everyone involved.
