Not Just a Nanny
Emily sat inside the echoing cathedral of the Bodleian library, Oxfords ceaseless drizzle pageant pattering against the gothic windows. Textbooks, highlighters, and scribbled revision notes crowded her desk in a precarious fortress. She turned the pages feverishly, her eyes skimming dense lecture linescramming, always cramming. Her professor, Professor Chumley, was notorious: fail an exam, and you were consigned to a summer of retakes, with academic purgatory looming. She couldnt afford that, not with a semester already swollen with anxious deadlines.
Then Harriet, her coursemate (whom she only sometimes trusted not to swap her pens) sidled up, plopping herself onto the corner of the table and bending forward with a conspiratorial whisper:
You still need some extra cash, dont you?
Emily kept her gaze on her notes, nodded almost imperceptibly, and resumed reading. Each second ticked louderso much left to revise, so little time to grasp it all.
Mmm, she hummed at last, words reluctantas if speech would dissipate all her hard-won knowledge, and her focus would simply flutter away. Its all about time though, Haz. You know were in lectures till two and skipping isnt really… an option.
Harriet responded with the knowing, crooked smile she reserved for their more desperate exam moments. Shed always admired Emilys relentless commitment to her degree. After a heartbeat she went on, excitement overtaking her voice:
Actually, Ive got the perfect thing. My neighbour, Jacksingle dad, bit of a mystery, wife passed away, or maybe notdetails are fuzzy, she said, scrunching up her nose in distaste for idle gossip. Hes absolutely drowning in work and needs someone to help out with the kids in the eveningsabout four till eight. Perfect fit for you.
Emilys hand hovered over her revision. She finally looked up, curiosity prised open by Harriets enthusiasm.
You like kids, youre at Oxford reading Education, and youve spent years corralling your own little brothers. Thats four of them! It’s basically expertise.
Children had always filled Emily with warmth; the chaos and kindness of home was a tonicsometimes hard, always rewarding.
How old are his? she asked, genuine concern clouding her voice.
She twirled a pencil, chewing gently at the eraser. Looking after a strangers children? A part of her ached for the comfort of familiarity. Could she be what they need, especially after whatever tragedy they had endured?
Twin girls, about six. Jacks eldest, Tom, is thirteenlost in rugby training most evenings, so no help to anyone there.
Emily tapped her pencil on the desk, anxiety leaking into the rhythm. But is he really going to hire me? Ive not finished my degreenot yet anyway…
Sure, she could calm her brothers, had even interned at a village nursery, adored children. But being responsible for someone elses daughtersfor their fathers trustthat was different.
Harriet waved a dismissive hand, scattering invisible woes. Of course he will! Jack only asked me yesterday. Shall I give him your number?
For a moment, time stopped: the outline of her revision notes, the ticking clock with just thirty minutes till her next lecture, Harriets earnest grinall of it twisted into a strange, dreamlike clarity. Maybe this was what she needed. The job was just down the road, flexible, andif her luck heldthe twins might even be delightful.
Emilys heart shiveredhalf nervous, half thrilled. She took a breath, exhaled. Alright. Give him my number.
***
Emilys nerves fizzled. Today was her first day at Jacks house. Somehow watching her brothers had never carried this weight: these children werent hers, and every action felt heavy with consequence. She checked her tote again: phone, house keys, a lavender-scented notepad, snacks for the girls. All present and correct.
Meeting Jack and his children the day before had eased her somewhat. He was gentle, open-facednot at all the shadowy widower of village gossip. He explained their routine with an amused patience. Sophie and Millie, the twins, had hidden behind his legs at first, only to break into excited chattering within ten minutesthen presenting their drawing portfolios for compulsory admiration. Emily found herself laughing, their childish inventions a delight.
But what truly startled herHarriet had failed to mention how impossibly attractive Jack was. Tall, kind eyes, a subtle smile; utterly sincere. She seethed at her friends omission, cheeks heating every time he caught her gaze.
Dont lose your head, she kept telling herself. Its just a job.
Outside, rain had turned to gold. The nursery buildingall red brick and rose vineslooked lifted from a childrens book, with the playgrounds riot of colour beneath a sky somehow more vivid than reality. Jack had already spoken to the staff, handing Emily a helpful note confirming she had permission to collect. She exhaled, smoothed her hair, and wandered in through the cast iron gate.
Children dashed past, their laughter weaving through the cloud. Emily spotted Sophie and Millie by the swings, deep in twin conversation. When they saw her, they froze, then smiled shyly.
She knelt down, trying to seem less intimidating. Ready to come home? Ill make you something yummy.
Sophies eyes narrowed with charming suspicion. Whatll you make?
Emily pretended to ponder. Hmm, what about pancakes with Jam? Or… chocolate chip cookies?
Millie bounced. Cookies! I love chocolate chip!
Cookies it is. Emily offered her hands; both girls hesitated, then tucked their small palms in hers. A warmthalien yet familiarflooded her. Could she do this?
The twins exchanged a lookbrief, loaded with secret meaningthen nodded in precise unison. All their mannerisms matched: folding hands, tilting heads, pacing their steps. Their solemnity was so out of place for six-year-olds, it gave Emily pause.
She remembered Toms words from the day before. The eldest brother had pulled her aside, the air between them thick with seriousness far beyond his years.
They used to be different, Tom had said quietly. Always hugging everyone, open. After mum died… they dont really understand. Think maybe they did something wrong.
He stared hard at his trainers, then drew himself tall. They cried over and over: Did mum leave because were naughty? Dad and I told them it wasnt their fault, that mum loved them. But they sort of closed up. Smiles disappeared. Wouldnt let anyone near them. Gran used to help but now shes ill too, Dad had to find a nanny.
There was a heaviness thereun-childlike and sticking to him like mud. Tom seemed both older and painfully young.
Emily had simply nodded, heart pinched. Looking at the twins, she felt the enormity of Jacks trust.
But they seemed to like me, shed smiled later. We played games, magic tricks, giggles all round.
Tom had studied her, intent, then said with all the gravity of a judge: Thats why Dad picked you. Just… please dont let us down, alright?
That hoperaw, tremblingclung to his words. Emily forced confidence into her reply. I wont. Ill do everything I can to help them find their smiles again.
Tom relaxed, almost grinned, reverting to a boyish eagerness. Ill pitch in too, when rugby lets me. I tell good stories, you know.
Of course, Emily had replied warmly. Theyll love it.
***
Two months passed. Emily, now a fixture in the Fielding household, found herself part of its peculiar rhythm. Sophie and Millies early suspicion ebbed away, replaced by a bubbly affection. They greeted her with shrieks, tales of school, and clung to her for just a little too long at the end of each day.
This evening Emily folded away toys, softly humming the tune the girls had learned at nursery. They watched from the sofa, eyes large, sadness hovering.
Stay with us! Sophie cried, dashing over and wrapping herself around Emilys waist, face pressed to her skirt. Why go home at all?
Emily froze, then chuckled, stooping to hug her close. I have to get ready for classuniversity tomorrow. Notes and assignments, you know. But Ill be back tomorrowyou wont have time to miss me!
But Millie had already joined the cuddle. We miss you already. Sleep here?
Emily surveyed their hopeful faces and felt something inside her melt. She knelt down till she was eye to eye.
And where would I sleep? I can hardly squeeze into your room, can I?
Sophie pondered, then her eyes lit. Dads bed is huge! Youd fit there!
Millie nodded enthusiastically. Yes! Dads always working anyway, he wont mind!
Emily stifled a laugh. She knew what the girls meantonly a desperate anxiety to keep her close. But her imagination started running just a little wild: evenings in the Fielding home, warm lamplight, a quiet, thoughtful tea with Jack… Oh, it would be so easy to staynot in his bed, of course, just near, sharing all that gentle domesticity.
She checked herself. Its just work, she reminded herself. Youre the nanny, not a guest. Before she could get lost in daydreams, Emily scooped up her things, promised the girls an even earlier return, and nearly raced from the house.
Outside, the citys fog embraced her. Cheeks still burning, she fiddled with her satchel, breathing in the sharp Oxford air.
Upstairs, Tom leaned in the hallway, bemused. Hed spotted the way the house brightened around Emilythe way his fathers voice softened, the air seemed lighter. Hed caught Emilys nervous blushes, Jacks long looks, the way they circled each other, awkward and shy.
Honestly, adults, Tom thought, half-amused, half-annoyed. Will one of you ever make a move?
That night, when Jack returned hometired, tie askewTom waited for the right moment, then sat opposite him, arms folded.
Dad, seriously, what are you waiting for? Tom asked, a glint in his eye.
Jack glanced up from his paperwork, baffled. Im sorry?
Oh, come on! You like Emily. She likes you. Invite her somewhere, for goodness sake!
Jack hesitated, rubbed his brow, suddenly sheepish. Tom, shes the girls nanny. Thats what matters.
Tom rolled his eyes, exasperated. I see the way you look at her. Shes hopeless at hiding it. None of you have a clue what youre doing. Just ask her out!
Jack slumped into the old armchair, face in his hands. Hed always been the steady one, composed and precise. Not now.
Its… complicated, he murmured. I cant risk ruining what weve built. If I scare her off, the girls would never recover and neither would I.
Memories flickered: Sophie grinning, showing off a masterpiece; Millie clutching Emilys hand; the house echoing with laughter again. What if he lost all of it?
Tom was undaunted. He leaned forward. Emilys crazy about you, Dad. I promise. Shes just frightened to step forward. So? Try something low-key. All of us together. Family meal? Café? Just spend time.
Jack toyed with the ideaparks, rides, their favourite corner café where the girls knew the menu by heart… It sounded almost possible.
Do you really think thisll work? he said, voice small.
Tom grinned. Course it will. Start small. See what happens. If its good, go from there.
Jack nodded, gazing out at the street lamps beyond. A plan unfurled; his mind swirling with odd, unreal possibilitiesa carousel, melting ice cream, a sweet, cautious togetherness in some soft-lit space.
He agreedif it goes wrong, Tom would say no more on the matter. For now, in this quiet house with the storm outside, it all felt dreamlike; everything was unreal, time looping back on itself.
From the next room came shrieks of laughterEmily playing hide and seek with the girls. Jack closed his eyes, absorbing it. Maybe Tom was right.
***
Jack spent the next few days thinking over Toms bold words. He noticed Emilys blushes, her softness. Had he really never seen it? Or had he simply chosen not to?
One evening he arrived home, and from the hallway heard a giggly chorus from the lounge.
Emily, say our dads the best in the world! Sophies voice called, egged on by her siblings.
Jack silently watched as Emily, not missing a beat, nodded, Of course. Hes the kindest, most handsome
Millie, never to be outdone, piped up, Handsome, too?
Emily hesitated, heat rising in her cheeks. Very handsome, she stammered without thinking, realising only after the words slipped out.
And you Millie fixed her with those uncanny, questioning eyes. You love Dad too?
The room fell silent, time thickening to treacle. Toms grin faded. Emily fumbled for an escape.
I, umlook at the time! Dinner time! Whos coming to help?
She darted into the kitchen, inviting everyone to followand the conversation dissolved into the ritual comfort of domestic bustle.
Jack finally entered, offering an olive branch with a smile. How about we all go out for supper tonight? Get some fresh air.
The children exploded with glee: Yes! The café with the big cakes! And the funfair after? All while Emily beamed, shyly, from the edge of the chaos.
Sounds lovely, she said, face still awash with colour.
And Jack caught himself thinking: perhaps Tom was right; perhaps everything would fall into place simply by being present.
***
Months trickled by, the citys seasons blurring. The Fielding house felt different now. What began as family outingspicnics in University Parks, fish and chips at the riversidebecame a normal rhythm. Emily and Jack found themselves alone in the kitchen late at night, mugs of tea untouched, laughter filling the space left empty for so long.
Neither could continue the pretence, and Tom watched it all unfold with a veterans satisfaction.
One evening, after the girls fell asleep, Jack and Emily sat quietly in the lounge, the fairy lights a soft haze against the world outside. He turned to her.
Theres something I need to say, he breathed, hands shaking.
Emilys heart skipped. She looked at him, suddenly certain of nothing and everything.
I cant imagine life without you now. He reached for her hand in the half-light. Without your smile, your kindness, your way with the children, your… laughter. I love you. I want you to be part of our family, not as the nannybut as my wife.
Emily closed her eyes, gathering her thoughts, then repliedquiet but fierce:
I love you, too. More than anything.
***
The wedding was small, as both wished. No fuss, only family, laughter, and the scent of summer roses. Beneath the bunting and balloons at a sunlit country inn just outside Oxford, friends and kin gathered. But the day belonged, as ever, to Sophie and Milliepink bows, serious faces, clutching their ring pillow as though it held the worlds secrets.
Daddy, you look lovely! Sophie breathed as Jack knelt for a hug.
And Emily is a proper fairy princess, Millie announced, examining the brides simple white dress.
Tom, tall and proud, exchanged a knowing grin with his father as the registrar declared them husband and wife. Told you, Dad. Itd work out.
Jack smiled, squeezing Toms shoulder, then turned to Emily. The world slowed; all that remained was her face, her smile, and the sudden certainty of love.
Were one family now, she whispered, tangling her fingers in his.
There was cake and soft dancing, children racing between tables, laughter echoing down the garden. When twilight came, guests waved goodbyes, and the new couple stood beneath the silvered Oxford sky, the scent of phlox and fresh grass rising around them.
I think today was the best day of my life, Emily whispered against his shoulder.
Jack kissed her hair. And many more are coming. Thats the real magic.
She smiled, gazing up at him, and finallyimpossibly, perfectlyshe knew: the doubt and loneliness of the past was only a shadow, vanishing behind her as she stepped into the dazzling, improbable dream of their new life.
