Not Giving Her Up to Anyone: A Short Story

Never Going to Give Her Up

Stepdad wasn’t cruel to them. At least, he never denied them a slice of bread, and he didn’t yell about school only raised his voice when Annie came home later than she should.

“I promised your mother I’d look after you!” he’d shout whenever Annie tried to mumble that she was, technically, an adult now. “And I know better than you what you ought to do, miss! So you’re an adult now, are you? Got yourself A-levels and suddenly its anything goes? Get yourself a proper job, then you can start acting grown-up!”

After he’d cooled off a bit, hed become more reasonable.

“Hell leave you, you know. Ive seen what sort he is, that boy who picks you up fancy car, pretty face, he’ll never stick with a plain Jane like you, Annie. You’ll be sobbing your eyes out, mark my words.”

Annie didn’t believe him. Yes, Oliver was handsome, third year at uni, albeit on the expensive course not that Annie wouldve minded paying for university herself. Shed failed to get in through the regular route, didnt like the local sixth form college, so she handed out leaflets, delivered papers, but mostly studied for next years entrance exams. Thats how she met Oliver she handed him a flyer, he took the first, then the second, then the third, and said:

“Tell you what, Ill take all your leaflets if you come have coffee with us?”

Whatever possessed Annie that day, she agreed. Old hand or not, she stuffed the leaflets neatly in her backpack and chucked them in the bins on her way back from the café.

At the café, Oliver introduced her to his mates, treated her to pizza and ice cream. She and her little sister usually only saw that kind of feast on birthdays they didnt have much cash, and stepdad wouldnt let them touch their benefits, said it had to be saved for a rainy day if something happened to him.

His job was quite decent, but half his salary went to fixing his perpetually broken car, and the other half evaporated at the bookmakers. Annie didn’t complain grateful he hadnt chucked her and Eleanor out. The flat was his, and their mum’s had to be sold when she fell ill. Sure, Annie fancied chocolates, pizzas, even fizzy pop, but whenever she got hold of treats, shed always give them to Eleanor first. Even at the café, Annie asked Oliver if she could take a slice of pizza for her sister. He gave her the oddest look then bought her a whole pizza and a massive chocolate bar with nuts to take home.

Stepdad was totally wrong about Oliver. He was proper kind. And Annie, next to him, suddenly felt how little she really had. She worked harder than ever for those exams, even landed a decent job as a cashier at Tesco. Pay wasnt half bad, and she finally bought herself nice jeans and had her hair done at a real salon so Oliver could be proud of her.

When he invited her to his parents place in the countryside, Annie knew exactly what was meant to happen and she wasnt scared, she wasnt a kid. Besides, he loved her and she loved him. At first, she was worried stepdad wouldnt let her out, but he started coming home late himself, sometimes not at all. Annie knew where he was Auntie Lucy, the nurse from two doors down, had caught his eye. She wasnt keen on getting involved with a bloke with two girls from a previous marriage, but after her own messy divorce she eventually thawed to his wonky charm.

All this made things easier for Annie. Though Eleanor cried buckets the first time she found out shed be home alone, Annie bought her a chocolate bar, crisps, and fizzy pop, and Eleanor got on with it.

Annie didnt find out she was pregnant until late. Her cycle was dodgy anyway, and no one ever bothered teaching her to keep track. It was Veronica, the other cashier, who joked,

“Crikey, youre glowing! Filled out a bit youre not up the duff are you?”

They had a good laugh, but that evening Annie picked up a test. Two blue lines. No way, cant be!

Oliver was less than thrilled. Said it was the absolute worst timing and stuffed some cash at her for the doctor. Annie cried all night and went. But it was too late sixteen weeks gone. Turns out, it happened at the country house. And Annie thought you couldn’t get pregnant the first time.

She managed to hide it from stepdad for a bit, but her belly started growing like a freshly watered plant. She had to confess.

He exploded.

“And wheres the boyfriend? Is he marrying you?”

Annie lowered her eyes. She hadnt seen Oliver in a month; as soon as he realised shed have to keep the baby, he bolted.

“Figures,” stepdad muttered. “Told you so, Annie…”

He took his time, probably conferring with Auntie Lucy.

“Since its come to this youll give birth, but, youll have to leave the baby at the hospital. Im not having another mouth to feed. Theres something else Im getting married, Annie. Lucys pregnant too. Were having twins. You see, three babies in one house its too much.”

“Wait, shes moving in?” Annie asked, baffled.

“Where else would she live? Shell be my wife, wont she?”

He wasnt joking. He went on about it every day, threatening to boot her and Eleanor out if Annie brought the baby home. Annie realised he was parroting whatever Auntie Lucy fed him. Still, she couldnt just abandon her child.

Auntie Lucy tried soothing her. “Dont fret, love newborns are snapped up, someone good will adopt her, theyll love her to bits.”

Annie cried, rang Oliver, tried to think of anywhere she, Eleanor, and the baby could go. But she hadnt got a clue. One afternoon, Veronica nodded towards a quiet couple in the shop.

“Blimey, theyre still wearing black after all these years. Youd think theyd try for another kid or adopt, rather than living in perpetual gloom”

That couple, Annie saw them often. Always together, polite, gentle-faced, only a bit melancholy-looking, though she didnt know their story.

“Their daughter died, remember? Big story, lorry crashed with school kids on a day trip, driver fell asleep, I think. He died, so did their girl. Such a shame. The dad’s a doctor, mum teaches English. I used to be neighbours with them, before my divorce. Everyone visited back then, brought the mum these little angel statues. Her daughter bought one herself, clutching it on the trip took ages to get it back. Once folk started giving her angel figurines, it caught on. I worried itd make it worse, but it seemed to help.”

Annie remembered seeing a film where a young woman gave her baby to a couple who couldnt have children. These two could have, and probably didnt want another kid, but Annie kept thinking about them. By now, she was eight months pregnant, and still working because she didnt want to lose her job. One day, the couple came to her till, and the man said,

“Young lady, isnt it time you were on maternity leave? Youll end up delivering between the bread rolls!”

Annie hadnt said anything, but it had become harder her back ached something rotten, heartburn tormented her, feet swollen by evening. No one ever asked how she was, except the GP who just nagged her. That little moment of care nearly brought Annie to tears right there she was always teary lately.

Two days later, walking home, arms full of groceries, the man overtook her and offered to carry the bag. Annie felt awkward but grateful. She thought, hes got to be a good person.

She spotted an angel figurine in a bargain bin one of those summer sales for things nobody wants. Annie, on impulse, bought it and asked Veronica for the couples address.

Standing at their door, Annie suddenly panicked. What if this was inappropriate, after all these years? Doubt anyone brings them angels nowadays.

The woman opened the door, instantly recognised her eyebrows raised. Annie quickly handed her the figurine, head ducked, bracing for a slammed door at best, shouting at worst.

But there was neither. The woman smiled, took the angel, and said,

“Come in, love. Fancy a cuppa?”

Over tea, she told Annie their story harsher, more painful than Veronicas version.

“Why didnt you try for another?” Annie asked, almost whispering.

“My labour was complicated. They had to take out my womb. No more babies for me.”

Annie felt a fool for prying. She wanted to mention adoption, but couldnt get the words out.

“We did consider adopting,” the woman said, as if reading her mind. “Did all the prep, even passed the fostering classes. But at the last minute, I couldn’t go through with it. Asked our daughter for a sign got absolutely nothing.”

Right then, there was a crash, like a glass tumbling off a shelf. The woman stiffened, Annie darted a glance towards the lounge. She imagined a shrine dark, candles everywhere, photos. But no, just one photograph, a bright room, no candles, only angel figurines. One lay shattered on the floor. The woman picked up the pieces, stared long and hard. Then, in a strange voice, she said,

“This is the angel. Her one.”

Annies cheeks burned. If that wasnt a sign, what was?

She gave birth to a girl, right on time. By now, Auntie Lucy was living with them, already delivered the twins ahead of schedule. The twins were in hospital, but due any day; shiny white cribs already set up with coconut mattresses. No one planned to buy Annies baby anything. She was meant to leave the child at hospital. Only Eleanor dared ask, in hushed whispers at night:

“Cant you just hide her? So no one knows shes yours, your little girl. Id help you.”

Those words hurt Annie so much, but she never cried in front of her sister.

Annie carefully wrote a note beforehand. Said she couldnt keep the baby, reassured them their girl was healthy not to worry. She mentioned the sign, the fallen figurine. She stuffed all her saved benefits in the envelope. It should be enough; these were good people.

They discharged her in the morning, but abandoning a baby by daylight was terrifying. So Annie spent a day shuffling through the shopping centre, knackered and dizzy, but her little girl needed a loving family.

Once the centre shut, she lingered on a bench for another hour, thankfully it was warm. Only when dusk settled did she dare enter the block, sneaking in as a man walked his dog.

The baby was in a carrier, bought with Annies own money. Shed asked Veronica to bring it for the hospital discharge no questions asked. Setting the carrier snugly so the door wouldnt hit it, Annie slipped the envelope under the blanket, ready to ring and dash, when the door swung open. The man, the bereaved father, stood there.

“Whatre you faffing about with, then?”

Annie nearly jumped out of her skin.

He saw the carrier.

“Whats this?”

Tears poured and Annie told all: Oliver, whod dumped her; the stepdad, whod kept them afloat for seven years but now remarried with twins; Auntie Lucys declaration Annie must sign her baby away at hospital.

He listened kindly, then said,

“Gals asleep now, best not wake her. Well talk in the morning. Come on, Ill set you up on the sofa.”

Sleeping in a room full of angel figurines was odd. But Annie clutched her child and fell straight asleep.

She woke feeling empty. The baby was gone. In that moment, Annie knew she could never let go. Never. She wanted to run, snatch her daughter back

She leapt up, but before she could move, Galina walked in, cradling the girl.

“Here you are,” she smiled. “Time for a feed I rocked her to sleep, but that only lasts so long.”

Feeding her baby, Annie couldnt look Galina in the face. What had her husband told her? Maybe theyd decided overnight to adopt Annies child. How could Annie admit shed changed her mind?

“How olds your sister?” Galina asked suddenly.

“Twelve,” Annie replied, mystified.

“Do you reckon shed join us here?”

What a bizarre question. Annie stared, totally confused.

“Sorry, what?”

“Alex told me everything. Youve got nowhere to go, stepdads thrown you out. I figured, if your sister stayed there, theyd turn her into a skivvy. She can live here, too.”

“What do you mean, ‘too’?” Annie stammered.

Galina nodded towards the glued-together figurine by the photo warped but still recognisable.

“I think it was a sign. We should help you,” she said, matter-of-fact. “Plus, we’ve got loads of space. Move in with us! Ill help with your little one. And you can forget this nonsense about parting with your child. No mother should be separated from her baby.”

Annie felt such a rush of joy, but so ashamed tears welled up again.

“So do you agree?”

Annie nodded, burying her face in her daughter’s blanket, hoping Galina wouldnt see her tears…

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Not Giving Her Up to Anyone: A Short Story