I’m absolutely fuming! Today, I had yet another row with my mother, and I dont even want to call my husbands mum.
Were luckywe have two grandmothers, mine and my husbands.
Though “lucky” might be a stretch, because they’re hardly acting like grandmothers. Both live just a stones throw from our sons nursery, yet neither will lift a finger to pick him up. Id do it myself, but my workday ends at 6 p.m., making it impossible for me to get there on time. My husband cant always manage it either, working shifts at the factory. So, weve had to hire a nannyan added expense thats straining our budget. And all this when weve got two grandmothers around!
My mother finishes work by 4 p.m. and passes the nursery every day on her way home. But her personal life is her top priority now. She divorced my stepdad and insists on living for herselfclaiming she needs to unwind after work, pamper herself with face masks, and stay youthful. Every weekend, shes booked upcinema trips, exhibitions, catching up with friends.
She rarely takes our son, and only on weekends, grumbling that he disrupts her routine with his running about and disturbing her meditation. Shes full of parenting advice, yet refuses to lift a finger to help.
My husbands mother is another story. Shes never worked a day, always been a housewife. With four childrenall born within three years of each otheryoud think shed be the perfect help. But no. She insists shes done her bit raising her own kids and wont do more. She claims shes swamped with houseworkcooking, cleaning, laundryand has no time or energy left for a grandchild. Never mind that her two youngest, an 18- and a 21-year-old, are perfectly capable of looking after themselves.
Once, she did pick up our sononly to return in a huff, complaining shed had no time to get anything done. Her “men” came home tired and hungry, and she later snapped that Id had the baby for myself, not her, so I should deal with it. She made it clear we shouldnt expect her help again.
The cost of childcare is bleeding us dry. It infuriates me how hypocritical the grandmothers arecooing over our son at Christmas, bragging about their presents, as if that makes up for their absence. We dont need gifts; we need real support.
Today, I had to beg my mother to collect him because we couldnt afford the nanny.
We cant rely on our parentsnot for money, not for help. My mother-in-law wont chip in financially either, insisting her grocery bills are sky-high because her sons eat out so much.
I dont know how well get through this. Every penny goes on essentials, and now weve got the nannys wages to cover. How do we make them see that family should mean more than just words?
The lesson? Sometimes, the people you expect to lean on are the ones who let you down hardestbut you learn to stand on your own feet, even when its the last thing you wanted to do.