I’m boiling with anger! I had another fight with my mother today, and my husband’s parent doesn’t even want to call. We are lucky, as we have two grandmothers, mine and my mother’s spouse.
However, “lucky” is a strong word, as they are not grandmothers, but one name. They both live a hundred meters from the kindergarten of our son, and both flatly refuse to pick him up from kindergarten. I would do it myself, but as my working day ends at 9 pm, I can not pick up the child from the garden on time. My spouse doesn’t always get to do it either, since he works in shifts at the factory. Due to the fact that most people in our city work in a factory, for these children have made a group in which the children can stay until ten pm, but it has to pay separately and it costs a good copeck, and this is an additional expense that is very much affecting the family budget. And that’s with living grandmothers!
My mother works until 6 p.m., and every day she passes the daycare center when she comes home. My mother’s personal life comes first now; she divorced my stepfather and wants to live for herself, so she says she needs to rest after work and get facial masks to look younger than her age. Every weekend she has some activities planned, a trip to the cinema, an exhibition, a get-together with her friends.
She takes her son very rarely and then only on weekends. She argues that her grandson disrupts her usual routine, he’s always running around the apartment and interferes with her meditation. My mother loves to give me advice on education, but at the same time she categorically refuses to take part in it.
My husband’s parent – this is a separate story. My mother-in-law never worked a day, she was always a housewife. She has four children between whom the difference is not more than three years. My husband is her oldest son. It seems that she is the ideal person to help raise her grandson, but no, she says that she has played with her own, and besides she says that she has a lot of housework, and with her grandson she has no time or desire to do: she needs to cook, clean, laundry, meet everyone in the evening from work, feed, and then clean up after everyone and put her men to bed. This is despite the fact that her younger sons, one eighteen and one twenty-one, are completely independent men who can take care of themselves.
Once my husband’s parent took her son away, and then she was so indignant that even the sky was hot that she didn’t have time to do anything while she was picking up her grandson from kindergarten, her men came home tired and hungry from work. She then told me that I gave birth for myself, not for her, and therefore I have to look after my child myself and take him out of the garden. Anyway, she told us not to count on her help anymore.
At one time I was lucky, because my partner liked to sleep, so she went to the second shift and I went to the first. Then the woman settled, and instead came aunt, who well does not want to stay on the evening shift, and so we have to pay again for a triple-dollar kindergarten. And this significantly affects the family budget. Very angry at the hypocrisy of our grandmothers, they meet our grandson on all the holidays, talking about how they love him, and who of them, what gift he bought. But we don’t need their gifts, we need their real help.
So today I had to call my mother and literally beg her to take my son from kindergarten, since we have nothing to pay for the group. We have nothing to look forward to from our parents, either financially or in terms of real help. My spouse’s mother doesn’t want to help financially either, she says that her husbands are eating out of their minds, and that’s why the money goes to food. I can’t even imagine how we can get out of this situation now. All my earnings with my husband go on food, clothes, and household needs, and then we have to pay double for the garden. How do we get through to our grandmothers so that they help us, and not pay us off with gifts?
