We Weren’t Expecting You
Our dad, Jack, had gone off somewhere to earn a living and disappeared for good when I was in Year Five and my sister Lily was just starting in Year One. Though really, you could say he vanished without a trace back then. Before that, hed often leave and be gone for months at a time. He and Mum were never married; Dad was a free spirit, a proper wanderer. Hed travel all over England, popping up in Manchester, then Brighton, and returning only when it suited him. He always came back with pounds in his wallet and presents for us. Mum didnt mind, devoted to him as she was.
Jackie, do come home soon, shed beg.
Dont start all that now. Ill be back with gifts, youll see.
Hed peck her on the cheek and vanish again. While he was gone, Dads brother, Uncle Andrew, kept an eye on us. I think he fancied Mum, though he never said a word and never gave her any romantic attention. We just knew we could always count on him.
So, how are you, Theresa? Uncle Andrew asked when he popped round. How are the little ones?
Hooray! Uncle Andrews here! Id shout, sprinting over for a bear hug.
Alright, Ben, hed say in his usual brisk manner, squeezing me quick.
Truth be told, Id rather hed been our dad. On weekends, Uncle Andrew took us out to Hyde Park while Mum rested, sometimes joining us but often preferring to brood on her troublesome lot as a woman.
When I got older, Uncle Andrew brought home an indoor gym set and set it up in the hall. By then, Dad had been gone nearly half a year. I helped bolt the bars to the wall, Lily lingering nearby, watching as Uncle fitted the pull-up bar, rope, and rings with neat expertise.
Uncle Andrew, how come youre not married yet? asked Lily, her little-girl wisdom echoing grown-up matters shed overheard between Mum and her friends. Youre so handy. Any woman would snap you up for those golden hands.
He set his tools down and replied, Nobodys caught my fancy yet, Lily. If someone does, Ill get married.
What about kids of your own?
She waved her arms theatrically.
He smiled, looking serious. For now, you two are enough. Are you trying to get rid of me?
Me! Never, Uncle Andrew. Im always glad to see you, she grinned.
Later that evening, I asked Lily, Why are you always at him like that? He might get offended and stop coming by.
But Dad always brings gifts, she sighed dreamily. Hell be home soon, I bet.
Idiot. You only care about the presents. Dyou know what those gym sets cost, the ones Uncle Andrew brought?
What do I care? I want dresses and dolls, not climbing frames. Im not some monkey to swing on your bars.
This time Lily waited and waited, but Dad didnt come. One day, Uncle Andrew went into the kitchen and shut the door to talk to Mum; she cried bitterly.
Theresa, dont you cry. I wont leave you. Come on, you know Jackhes always chasing after greener grass and softer beds.
She wailed loudly, right there in the kitchenOh-oh-oh-ohand sobbed for ages after.
Uncle Andrew kept coming round as always: to help, fix things, or take us out. Then one evening he got up the nerve to tell Mum how he felt. I listened in secretly, not a hint of guilt.
Andrew, Im not what you need! Youre a fine man. You deserve real happiness.
Well, I think I know whos right for me, he said stubbornly.
What if Jack comes back?
Uncle Andrew kept silent.
Ill wait for him. I love him, Andrew! I cant help it. If youre sure you want someone like mewith no heart
I tiptoed away, burning inside. What a fool she was! Of all the men in England, she had to pick him and pine away. Ugh.
Life went on. Lily, just like Dad, would go wherever there were snacks and affection. Could I blame her? By now she realised waiting for Dads gifts was pointless. Uncle Andrew worked hard for our little family. Mum gave birth to his son, Harry. Uncle Andrews joy seemed boundless. They got married at Southwark registry office, and things finally felt settled.
I finished school without a single C and was set to go up to university on a grant. Mum beamed with pride, shining like a brass kettle.
Weve got a scholar in the family, eh Andrew?
Well, were not chopped liver ourselves!
Oh, stop it. Im no scholar, Id blush and wave them off. Pour me some bubbly to try.
As if youve never tasted it, scoffed Lily, and Id glare at her, playing at scary big brother.
Harry scrambled among us, trying to climb onto the table and knock things over. Andrew plucked him up, perched him on his knee.
Behave, son, youre not a baby anymore!
Harry instantly grabbed a spoon, pressed it to his nose, and crossed his eyes to make us laugh. Everyone did.
Is that the doorbell? Lily perked up her ears.
Mum answered, stepped back, and our dad appeared in the doorway, bringing a heavy silence. He looked around and said,
Whats all this? Carry on with the party.
We stayed quiet. Harry slid off Uncle Andrews lap, toddling toward the new fellow. Dad didnt notice him, and Mum scooped up Harry, shielding herself with her baby. Uncle Andrew stood, wobbled on his feet.
Going somewhere? Mum asked in a strange voice.
I I need some air.
He slipped out, gently nudging his brother aside. I stood and went after him. Lily followed.
Look, Lilysee the trendy stuff I brought you, Dad called.
To my shock, Lily ignored him. She caught up with me in the hall and whispered quickly,
Ill go after Uncle Andrew. You stay put and listen to what Mum and Dad say.
But
Oh, Benny! Youre good at eavesdropping!
Fair enough. Shes rightI could be a spy.
Lily dashed after Andrew. I crept into the hall, dreading the thought Mum had finally waited herself into heartbreak. What would become of us?
Theresa, whats this? You married Andrew, did you? Dad smirked.
Mum stayed silent.
Theresa, let it go. Everyone slips up now and then. Its done. Im here!
Scuffling, the sound of a slap, and Harrys frightened wailing echoed. Mums voice was cold as iron.
Why dont you, Jack just clear off?
Whats wrong with you now?
I said go. No one here was waiting for you.
Youre lying. I can see in your eyes. Eyes dont lie.
Well, Ive said my piece, snapped Mum.
Dad left a moment later, saw me lurking.
Listening in, eh? Youll go far.
I couldnt care less what he thought. I returned to the room, expecting Mum to be in bits. But she was soothing Harry, fixing her hair and the table, like some multitasking wonderwoman.
Phew. Nearly spoiled our celebration, didnt he? Mum forced a wry smile. Where are they?
Harry, already over the argument, shuffled a chair about happily.
I slipped outside. There on a bench across the street, Lily sat gripping Andrews arm, head tucked on his shoulder as if unclasping him might make him vanish. I stepped round front, looked him in the face, lost and tired.
Dad, enough moping. Come home. Mums calling.
Andrews hands shook. Lily placed her own little palms atop his, lifted her head.
Do come, Dad. Please?
We went back. Whatever happened, today was still our celebration. Id finished school.
