I see no way out anymore, my soul aches…
My life is a never-ending struggle.
Hello.
I write these lines with a heavy heart. I’m only 27, yet the future terrifies me.
I’m exhausted.
Year after year, it’s the same story: poverty, loneliness, and disappointment.
Holidays come and go without any sense of joy—just emptiness persists.
I try to believe that somewhere amidst all the deceit, betrayal, and cruelty, kind people still exist. People who can understand, offer help, and provide support.
But with each passing day, hope wanes.
I’ve forgotten how to smile.
Every single day, my strength diminishes.
Those who promised to help just vanished.
I’ve heard the beautiful words countless times:
“I’m always here, mate!”
“We’re family, you can count on me!”
“Everything will be alright, don’t give up!”
But when it came time for action, there was nothing behind those words.
I am alone.
I’m fighting against poverty, illness, and shattered hopes.
An operation I can’t afford
Recently, doctors informed me that I need urgent surgery.
My kidney issues are becoming severe.
But the amount required seems unattainable for me.
I’ve been without a job for a while. I don’t even think about the future anymore—just about getting through another day.
Lies, betrayal, and lost hopes
What hurts most isn’t the illness but the people.
People I trusted.
Those who swore friendship and love but turned away in times of need.
How easily people deceive… How simply they speak pretty words but do nothing.
How many times have I heard promises:
“We won’t abandon you!”
“We’ll help!”
Then these people vanished.
I came to understand a simple truth: in this cold world, actions speak louder than words.
The only person who hasn’t abandoned me
I’m not entirely alone.
There’s one person who remains by my side.
My grandmother.
She’s the only one who stands with me, who fights alongside me each day.
But her pension barely covers anything.
We pay for electricity, for medication—and end up with nothing.
And yet, we need to live.
We need to buy food, pay for wood, pay the doctors.
I ask for help.
I look into the eyes of passersby, but they just turn away.
Some scoff, some smirk disdainfully.
Some even take advantage of my situation, like those who promised me a summer job by the seaside but never paid me.
Why does God test us so harshly?
Every day I ask myself: why?
Why do people who have done no harm have to suffer?
My grandmother and I pray every evening.
We ask God for help.
But does He hear us?
Why does He send so many trials?
Do I deserve this?
I’m only 27. Don’t I have the right to simply live, to simply find joy, to simply breathe without fear of tomorrow?
My grandmother is an elderly woman. Hasn’t she earned the right to a peaceful old age?
Why is everything the wrong way around?
Why is she burdened with me when it should be the other way?
I still want to believe in people
Despite everything, I’m not giving up.
I refuse to believe that only greed, cruelty, and betrayal remain in this world.
I know there are honest people.
There are those who can help.
There are those who understand that kindness isn’t just empty words.
And perhaps, one day, I’ll meet such a person.
Because even after all I’ve been through, I still believe.
