Mum, what are you talking about? How can you say youve got no one to talk to? I call you twice a day, her daughter said, weariness in her voice.
Oh no, darling, its not that, Janet sighed sadly, its just… I havent got any friends left, no one from my generation. No one from my time.
Mum, dont be silly. You still have your old school friend, Margaret. And anyway, youre so modern, you look much younger than your age. Mum, really, whats got into you? her daughter sounded upset.
But you know Margarets asthmatic, she cant talk on the phone for long without coughing, and she lives all the way across town. It used to be the three of us, remember I told you about Susan? She passed away years back. Yesterday, Elaine from next door popped round. I offered her some teashes a lovely woman, comes over pretty often. She nipped out and brought back some bunsshed baked a batch for her lot. We talked about her kids and her grandkids. Shes much younger than me, at least fifteen years, but her childhood, her memories of schoolso different from mine.
I just wish I had someone my own age to talk with, someone who remembers the world I remember, Janet confided, knowing full well her daughter wouldnt quite understand. She was still young; her time wasnt behind her, it was still out there, just outside her window. There were no pangs of nostalgia just yet. Jo was a wonderful, loving daughter; it wasnt about her.
Mum, Ive got tickets for the song recital on Tuesday! Remember you wanted to go? Enough with the glum thoughts. Put on that burgundy dress, you look an absolute treat in it!
Alright, love, Im fine, its just me being silly, I suppose. Goodnight. Well talk tomorrow. Try to get to bed early, youre always so tired, Janet quickly changed the subject.
Yes, Mum, goodnight, Jo hung up.
Janet gazed in silence through the window at the distant city lights twinkling in the evening gloom…
Spring, Year 11. So many plans for the future. It felt like yesterday. Her friend Margaret fancied Tom Wakefield from their class, but Tom liked her, Janet. He used to ring in the evenings, invite her for walks. But to Janet, Tom was just a mateshe didnt want to lead him on.
Tom went off to join the navy, came back, got married. Hed lived in Margarets old flat for a while. Had a landlinewhat was the number? Janet, on a whim, dialled the number that drifted back to her. The ringing took a while. Somewhere, the receiver was lifted. There was some quiet rustling, then a gentle mans voice:
Hello? Whos there?
Is it too late? Why am I even calling him? He probably doesnt remember me at all. Maybe its not even him.
Good evening, Janets voice was faintly hoarse with nerves.
There was more rustling on the line, then suddenly, an astonished voice:
Janet? Is that really you? Of course it is. Id never forget your voice. How on earth did you find me? I just happened to pick up…
Oh, Tom, you recognised me!, a joyful wave of memories washed over Janet. It had been years since anyone called her by nameshe was Mum, Gran, or Mrs. Atkins these days. Maybe only Margaret used her name like that.
But just Janet sounded so wonderfulso full of spring, as though the years had melted away.
Janet, how are you? I cant tell you how glad I am to hear from you, his words comforted her deeply. Shed worried hed either not recognise her, or shed be intruding.
Remember Year 11? When Mike Davies and I rowed you and Maggie along the river in that old punt? Mike got blisters on his hands from the oars and tried to hide them. Afterwards, we had ice creams by the bandstand while the music played, Toms voice was soft, nostalgic.
Of course I remember! Janet laughed warmly. And our school camping trip in the woodshow we couldnt open the tins and were ravenous?
Oh yes! Tom chuckled. Mike finally got one open, then we sang songs round the campfire, remember? Thats when I decided to learn to play the guitar.
Did you pick it up? Janets voice sounded bright and young with laughter, the memories bringing fresh life.
So hows life for you now? Tom asked, then answered himself. I dont know why Im askingI can tell by your voice youre happy. Family? Grandkids? Still writing poems? I remember: Melt into the night, and come alive by mornings light! Always so full of hope!
You were always sunshine, Janet! Anyone near you could warm their heartyoud never let them freeze. Your loved ones are lucky indeed.
Oh, Tom, dont overdo it! My times passed, I…
He cut her off:
Nonsense! The phones almost melting from your energyjust joking! No, I dont believe for a second youve lost the zest for life. Which means, Janet, your time is far from over. So live, and be happy. The sun shines for you.
And the breeze chases the clouds across the sky for you.
And the birds sing for you!
Tom, youre still a dreamerwhat about you? Ive done nothing but talk about myself…, but suddenly the phone gave a crackle, and the line went dead.
Janet sat for a while, clutching the phone. She considered calling back, but it was late. Another time, she thought.
What a wonderful chat that had beenso many memories brought back… A sudden call made Janet jump; it was her granddaughter.
Yes, Chloe, Im up. What did Mum say? No, Im in good spirits. Were off to a concert soon. Will you pop in tomorrow? Lovely, Ill look forward to it. Goodnight.
Janet slipped into bed in high spirits, her head busy with ideas. As she drifted off, she began to jot lines of a new poem in her mind…
The next morning, Janet decided to visit Margaret. Just a few stops by tramshe was still quite spry, after all.
Margaret was delighted:
Well, there you are, finally! Oh, youve brought my favourite apricot tart! Go on, tell me everything, she coughed, hand on her chest, then waved it away.
Dont worry, the new inhalers working. Lets have that tea. Janet, you look years youngerwhats your secret?
I dont know, maybe its my fifth youth! Last night I ring Tom Wakefield by accidentremember, your crush in Year 11? He remembered everything, all sorts of things Id long forgotten. Why are you so quiet, Maggieare you having another spell?
Margaret sat pale and wordless, staring at her friend. Finally, she whispered:
Janet… you didnt know? Tom passed away a year ago. He hadnt lived there for ages.
Really? Are you sure? Then who did I speak to? He remembered every detail from our youth. Id been so low before that call.
But after wed spoken, I realised: life goes on, I still have so much to give, so much to live for… How can that be? Janet couldnt quite believe.
But it was his voiceIm certain. He said such lovely things: The sun shines for you. The breeze chases the clouds for you. And the birds sing for you.
Margaret shook her head in disbelief, then said:
Janet, I dont know how it happened, but it must have been himhis words, his way. Tom loved you, you know. Maybe he wanted to lift your spirits… from wherever he is now. Looks like he managed it. I havent seen you this happy and lively in years.
One day, someone will help you gather the pieces of your worn-out heart. Then, youll finally remember: you are, after all, truly happy.
And sometimes, the people we carry in our hearts come back to remind us that life waits for us to embrace itno matter our age.
