My parents love the “no matter what finger you prick, it hurts the same” story, but even strangers noticed that Mark was loved more in our family. He was the first child, smarter, prettier, and I wasn’t doing well in school, so I was also overweight. Mom and Dad were supposedly supportive, but they always tried to keep me out of the spotlight by putting Mark in the spotlight.
They never humiliated me because of my looks or my grades, they never chided my brother’s success, but they never defended me when others did. Only my grandparents on my mother’s side always stood up for me. My grandmother said that my grandfather was like that when I was a kid, he was abused by many people, but at least his family took great care of him, while my relatives did not care.
Thanks to my grandparents in my twenties, I got their apartment. It wasn’t very new or well-appointed, but it was something. And my parents were only too happy to get rid of me by sending me off on my own. I was so hurt that Mark was older but could stay with my parents and claim their apartment, while I was sent to live alone. I didn’t realize at the time that this was how my parents supported me, too.
They didn’t help, but I had the idea to renovate my grandparents’ apartment myself, put everything in order, bought some good furniture and appliances, and by the time I got a girlfriend, I had a great apartment for the future. But Mark was still living with his parents, begging for an apartment and nothing for him. Even at his parents’ house, he didn’t really want to do anything, he was waiting to own it.
I could have continued to resent my parents, believing that I was deprived of everything, if Dad hadn’t come to visit my girlfriend and me one day and started praising me. It was the first time that had ever happened. He said I had done a great job and made the apartment “gorgeous,” he and my mom were very proud of me, and so were my grandparents up there. Because I’m so independent, I’ve achieved everything on my own, and I even got into a serious relationship before Mark did.
I wish they had told me that before, but on the other hand… What if I’d grow up to be like my brother if I was always protected by them and heard flattering words?
