No Magic At All
The New Year was barreling forth, unstoppable as a London express, its whistle howling through the fog of December.
Ellens heart raced at this velocity. She felt herself stranded on the platform, realising she hadnt a ticket, that nothing was going to work out, happiness was nowhere to be seen, nor, it seemed, would there ever be any of that elusive New Years cheer.
Why on earth had she invited anyone over? Whod want to celebrate with a wretched flop?
***
On the 31st of December, her morning exploded into disaster: the washing machine, loyal through a decade of broken springs and muddy football kits, decided its time had come. It flooded the bathroom so that the hallway filled with bubbles and stray socks.
Finding a plumber on New Years Eve was more like a poorly-made treasure hunt. After spending a small fortune and nearly all her patience, Ellen managed it, and took a long, shaky breath, praying that was the last of it.
But…
In the early hours, her ginger tomcat, Percivalself-styled connoisseurdevoured all the smoked ham intended for the potato salad, leaving but a lonely pea and some tired pickled onions.
This wasnt enough, apparently, for the brazen feline. Percival decided to lunge after a blue tit perched foolishly at the open sash window.
In his commotion, the grand rubber tree tumbled from the sill, sent the plastic Christmas tree sprawling, which then managed to knock out the old fairy lights Ellen had loving strung, snuffing their glow forever.
Bits of broken plant pot and Christmas baubles (some saved since childhood) mixed with damp compost on the linoleum. Ellen nearly sobbed as she swept away the dearly departed ornaments.
Then came the broken decanter, the scorched roast chicken, and finally, the last straw: just as her guests were about to arrive, Ellen realised, horrified, shed quite forgotten to buy the cake. In a panic, she rang her sister.
Kate, its a disaster! Theres no cake!
Calm down! came her sisters cheery voice. Im parked out front already. Come on! Well nip down and sort it all.
Where exactly are you?
I told yououtside your building!
As Ellen hurried down, she found herself walking into a living tableau: Kate stood by the car, their dearest friend Mary with a bag bulging at the seams, and Aunt Gailclutching a massive dish of aspic in both hands.
Why the aspic? And why so much? gasped Ellen.
Just in case! declared Aunt Gail with the air of someone dispensing Churchillian wisdom. I know how the youngsters cook nowadays. And the night is long! I hope youve at least got the potato salad?
Ellen offered a noncommittal shrug.
While she and Kate dashed for cake, Mary hung up streamers, which Persie, as always, managed to tangle himself in, transforming into some alien creature dredged up from a particularly odd corner of the universe.
It was Kates husband, John, just back from work, who heroically attempted to free the cat. Persie was meek until he spotted Ellen, then surged forward in delight, leaving a bright red scratch on Johns hand.
After tending his wound with great show, John volunteered for assistance in the kitchen. This consisted of waxing philosophical about how salad was a kind of mood, not simply a collection of ingredients, but honestly, Ellen and Kate were only too happy for the comic relief.
Ellen, whats this box? Mary called from the sitting room. Happy New Year it says. And theres a note: Open at midnight. Grandma Valerie.
The memory came rushing back.
Oh, Id quite forgotten! Kate, Gran left it! She made me promise wed open it at New Years, around two. She said it was a surprise.
I wonder whats inside? Kate mused. Lets have a peek now!
Ellen shook her head firmly.
No, shell know if we do. Honestly. Maybe theres even a trick lock. Well follow instructions. Patience!
The mystery had everyone on tenterhooks. Even Aunt Gail crept closer to stare, one elbow resting on her aspic basin.
***
Champagne corks popped, the telly burbled with the Prime Ministers speech, and no one suspected a thing. They munched the cats salad, argued and laughed, before at last
Is it two oclock already? Ellen asked. Then its just the right moment. She lifted the box, voice grand: A surprise from Grandma Valerie!
They gave the only man present the honour of opening it.
John fiddled for a bit, then lifted the lid.
Inside, nestled on fluff, were not fifty-pound notes, nor faded photographs, but dozens of tiny, neatly-rolled notes tied with coloured ribbon. Each note had a little labelone for every person present.
Whats all this, then? John asked, puzzled.
Ellen grabbed the first with her name, and began to read:
Ellen, my lovely granddaughter. Has something gone spectacularly wrong again? Washing machine given up? Cat eaten your salad? It’s all right! Remember: every disaster is a reason to order takeaway and put on your favourite show. You can always buy cake tomorrow. What matters is whos around to help devour the pizza. Love you to the moon and back. Your Gran, Valerie.
A moments hush, and then the room erupted in laughter.
Ellen laughed so hard she had tears trickling down her face.
How did she… how could she know?!
It must be magic, Aunt Gail whispered.
My turn! My turn! cried Kate, snatching her note.
She read:
Katie, dearest. Stop quarrelling with John over nonsense. Give him a cuddle instead. Hes a good one, even if hes a philosopher at heart. And if he starts spouting off again, just kiss him. Theres nothing quite so effective against a mans logic. Love to you both.
Johns face blazed scarlet and, under the applause of the assembled company, he planted a big kiss on Kate.
Mary, giggling, unrolled her slip.
Mary, darling. Seek romance not in pubs, but perhaps in the libraryor even down the local Sainsburys. Decent people congregate there, just ordinary folk. They may not wear skinny jeans, but theyll be true. Oh, and stop dyeing your hair purple. Your natural colour is gorgeous!
How does she know about my hair? Mary gasped. I only changed it two days ago!
At last, Aunt Gail took her note with trembling hands, as if it contained the secrets of MI5.
Gail, love. Youre our wisest soul and always in the know. But theres one secret youre missing. Remember: kindness and clever advice are wonderful, but sometimes its best to simply say nothing and eat a bit of cake. Hug you, my dear.
Aunt Gail read it twice, face flushing. She muttered something vague, took a huge slice of cake, and for the remainder of the night refrained from giving a single piece of advice to anyonea first in many years.
***
Laughter and chatter tumbled onwards till dawn.
The girls called up Grandma Valerie on video; she beamed at them from her chair miles away. My darlings! Im so glad the surprise worked! Theres no magic! Its just that I know you lot rather well. And I love you very much indeed!
In the morning, as she tidied away the party debris, Ellen gathered all the notes into a handsome jar and placed it on the mantel. They werent merely wishes. They were a recipe for happiness, direct from her grandmother: dont fear the mess, laugh at your woes, cherish your people, eat what brings you joybut dont overindulge. And, above all, remember: the very finest gift in life is knowing there is someone out there, somewhere, who truly knows and loves you. Always.












