I can’t see a way out anymore; my soul aches…
My life is an endless struggle
Hello.
I write these words with a heavy heart. I’m only 27, yet I’m already afraid of what lies ahead.
I’m exhausted.
Year after year, it’s the same cycle: poverty, loneliness, disappointments.
Holidays come and go without any feeling. Instead of joy, there’s just emptiness.
I try to hold on to the belief that among all the deceit and cruelty, there are still good people out there. People who understand, help, and offer support.
But with time, my hope fades.
I’ve forgotten how to smile.
Each day, my strength dwindles.
Those who promised support have simply vanished.
I’ve heard plenty of nice words.
– I’m always here for you, mate!
– We’re family; you can count on me!
– Everything will be alright, don’t give up!
But when it came to action, those words meant nothing.
I am all alone.
I struggle with poverty, illness, and hollow hopes.
An operation I can’t afford
Recently, doctors told me I need urgent surgery.
My kidney problems are becoming critical.
But the amount I have to raise is beyond what I can imagine.
I’ve been out of work for ages. I can’t think about the future – just how to get through another day.
Deceit, betrayal, and shattered hopes
What pains me more than the illness is the betrayal by those I trusted.
The ones who swore friendship and love, only to turn away when times got tough.
How easily people deceive… How easily they say nice things but do nothing.
I’ve heard promises so many times:
– We won’t abandon you!
– We’ll help you!
And then those people disappeared.
I’ve come to a simple truth: in this harsh world, actions speak louder than words.
The one person who hasn’t abandoned me
I’m not entirely alone.
There’s one person who’s always by my side.
My grandmother.
She’s the only one who stands by me, fighting alongside me every day.
But her pension isn’t enough for anything.
We pay for electricity, for medicine – and we’re left with nothing.
Yet we need to survive.
We need to buy food, firewood, pay the doctors.
I ask for help.
I look in the eyes of strangers, but they just turn away.
Some curse, some smirk disdainfully.
Some even took advantage of my struggles, like those who promised me a summer job at the resort but then didn’t pay.
Why does God test us so harshly?
Every day I ask myself: why?
Why must good people who’ve never harmed anyone have to suffer?
My grandmother and I pray every evening.
We ask God for help.
But does he hear us?
Why does he send us so many trials?
Do I deserve this?
I’m only 27. Don’t I have the right to simply live, to be happy, to breathe without fear of tomorrow?
My grandmother is an elderly woman. Doesn’t she deserve a peaceful old age?
Why is it the opposite?
Why is she bearing my burden when it should be the other way around?
I still want to believe in people
Despite everything, I won’t give up.
I refuse to believe that greed, cruelty, and betrayal are all that’s left in this world.
I know honest people exist.
There are those who can help.
There are those who understand that kindness is more than just empty words.
And maybe, one day, I’ll meet such a person.
Because even after all I’ve been through, I still believe.
