This pain doesn’t fade
How fleeting human life is. We make plans, expend our efforts and time on trivial matters, chase after success, money, and the approval of others. Yet, those who genuinely love us—the ones who gave us life, who will never betray us—are often pushed to the background…
I realized this all too late.
My father left early, and my mother lived only for me.
My father passed away when I was still a child, succumbing to a serious illness that left only faint memories of him. All I remember is how my mother always spoke of what a wonderful man he was.
She never remarried.
“I loved only him,” she would say. “And I still do. I believe that one day we will meet again.”
I listened to her stories, observing the light in her eyes when she reminisced about the past. She believed in love, in fate, in fairy tales.
But her life after my father’s passing was far from a fairy tale.
As her only son, she devoted herself entirely to me. She worked tirelessly, cared for me, and made sure I had everything.
And I…
I forgot that parents aren’t eternal.
I moved away to start a new life while my mother remained behind, waiting.
Five years ago, I got married and relocated to another city.
We were blessed with a son—Oliver.
Life began to whirl around. Family, job, then another job—there was a need to earn more, to provide for our child, to think about the future.
I called my mother less frequently.
I only visited on holidays.
She always waited.
“Everything is fine, my dear,” she said. “What matters is that you’re well.”
I didn’t even notice how time slipped away.
How she slipped away.
The call that changed everything
A few days before New Year’s, the phone rang.
I saw an unknown number.
“Hello?”
A trembling voice came through the line:
“It’s Roger, your neighbor… Your mother is no longer with us…”
She had suffered a heart attack. She passed away in the hospital.
I heard those words, but I couldn’t accept them.
My world collapsed in an instant.
I stood there, holding the phone, unsure of what to do.
And then…
Tears began to fall on their own.
Bitter, piercing.
I cried not only from the pain.
I cried from guilt.
Forgive me, Mum…
Forgive me for not being there.
Forgive me for not finding the time to tell you how much I love you.
Forgive me for letting you leave alone.
Now you’re gone, and life will never be the same.
I would give anything to have back just one day. One evening. One hour.
But time cannot be reversed.
And to say “I love you,” I’m too late.
