— Needless to Say, This Is All My Fault! — My Boyfriend’s Sister Sobs: “I Never Imagined Anything Like This Could Happen! Now I Don’t Know What to Do Next, or Even How to Handle It Without Losing Face.” My boyfriend’s sister married a few years ago. After the wedding, it was agreed that the newlyweds would live with her husband’s mother. His parents have a spacious three-bedroom flat and only one son. “I’ll keep one room for myself, the rest is yours!” announced the mother-in-law. “We’re all well-mannered, so I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” “We can always move out!” her husband reassured her. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to live with my mum under one roof. If it doesn’t work out, we can always get a place of our own…” That’s exactly what happened. Turns out, living together was quite the challenge. Both daughter-in-law and mother-in-law tried their best, but things just got worse every day. Tensions kept bubbling up, and the arguments became more frequent as time went on. “You said if we couldn’t stand it, we’d just move out!” the wife cried in frustration. “And didn’t we?” her husband shrugged indifferently. “These are minor issues—not worth packing up and leaving over, are they?” Exactly one year after their wedding, she became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The arrival of the grandson coincided with the mother-in-law leaving her job—and she hadn’t found a new one yet, as nobody wanted to hire someone nearing retirement. So mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were suddenly home together 24/7, neither able to go out much, and the atmosphere at home worsened every day. The husband shrugged and listened to their complaints—he was the only one bringing in any money. “We can’t leave my mother alone right now, she hasn’t got the means to support herself. I can’t abandon her, and I can’t afford to rent a place and help Mum out at the same time. Once she finds a job, we’ll move out.” But the young mother’s patience wore thin. She packed her things and her son’s as well, and moved in with her own mum. When she left, she told her husband she’d never set foot in his mother’s house again. If he truly cared about his family, he’d have to do something about it. She was sure her husband valued their family and would try hard to win them back. But she was very wrong. It’s been more than three months since she moved out, and her husband hasn’t made any attempt to bring her home. He still lives with his mother, keeps in touch with his wife and child via video calls after work, and visits them at his mother-in-law’s on weekends. He enjoys attention and care from two women at once, his mother has all the sympathy in the world for her poor son “abandoned” by that angry wife, and he doesn’t actually have to look after the child! The husband’s winning! And the mother-in-law probably feels like nothing’s changed at all. The young wife, meanwhile, is far from happy. She loves her husband—even though she knows he’s acting poorly. “What did you think would happen when you left?” he asks. “You’re welcome to come back whenever you like.” Realistically, the wife has no intention of leaving her own mum to rent her own flat. She’s on maternity leave, after all; she hasn’t got the means. Is this truly the end of their family? Do you think she has even the slightest chance of going back to her mother-in-law’s house and saving face in this situation?

Needless to say, all of this is entirely my fault! My friend’s sister sobs. I never could have imagined things would turn out this way. Now, I feel at a complete loss and have no idea how to handle everything without utterly humiliating myself.

My friend’s sister married a few years ago.

After the wedding, it was decided that the newlyweds would live with her husbands mother. His parents had a spacious three-bedroom flat in Brighton, and he was their only child.

Ill keep one room, and the rest of the flat is yours! his mother-in-law had promised. Were all well brought up, decent people, so Im sure well all get along splendidly.

We can always move out if it doesnt work, her husband had reassured her. Theres nothing wrong with trying to live with my mum for a bit. If it gets difficult, well just rent a place.

Thats exactly what happenedthey gave it a real shot, but the arrangement proved much harder than expected. Both mum-in-law and daughter-in-law tried to make it work, but the tension only worsened. Small annoyances built up until, inevitably, thered be a blow-out. Every week brought more rows than the last.

You said if it got too much, wed move! my friends sister burst out, crying, after another argument.

Well, havent we managed so far? her husband replied dismissively. These are triflesnot worth packing our bags over.

Exactly one year after the wedding, she became pregnant and later gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

The arrival of their son happened just as her mother-in-law left her old job and, being close to retirement, struggled to find new workno employer wanted to hire a woman of her age. So, with the baby at home, both women were now stuck in the flat all day with nowhere much to go. Unsurprisingly, tempers got shorter, and the atmosphere at home worsened.

Her husband only shrugged and listened to their complaintshe was now the sole breadwinner.

I cant leave my mum to fend for herself. Shes got no income. I cant afford to rent a place and support her as well. Once Mums sorted with a job, well look for our own home, he insisted.

But his wife was slowly losing patience. At breaking point, she packed up her things and her sons, taking refuge at her own mothers house in Reading. Before going, she told her husband she would never set foot in his mothers home again. If their family mattered to him, he needed to figure something out.

She was certain her husband valued their family enough to do anything to bring her back. How wrong she was.

Its been more than three months since she moved out, and he hasnt even tried to win her back. He lives with his mother in Brighton, only communicating with his wife and son by video call after work and stopping by Reading on weekends for a visit.

He now has his mothers undivided care and attention, gets sympathy about the family left behind, and doesnt have to deal with the trials of childcare. Hes come out of this looking rather comfortable! And his mother hasnt really lost anything, either.

Meanwhile, my friends sister is left utterly unhappy with the whole situation. She loves her husband dearly, despite knowing full well hes in the wrong.

What did you expect when you left? her husband asks. You can always come back, if you want.

Of course, leaving her mothers place and renting her own flat isnt realistic right now; shes still on maternity leave with no income to speak of.

Is this really the end of their family?

I wonder, does she have any real chance of going back to her mother-in-laws home and emerging with her dignity intact?

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— Needless to Say, This Is All My Fault! — My Boyfriend’s Sister Sobs: “I Never Imagined Anything Like This Could Happen! Now I Don’t Know What to Do Next, or Even How to Handle It Without Losing Face.” My boyfriend’s sister married a few years ago. After the wedding, it was agreed that the newlyweds would live with her husband’s mother. His parents have a spacious three-bedroom flat and only one son. “I’ll keep one room for myself, the rest is yours!” announced the mother-in-law. “We’re all well-mannered, so I’m sure we’ll get along just fine.” “We can always move out!” her husband reassured her. “There’s nothing wrong with trying to live with my mum under one roof. If it doesn’t work out, we can always get a place of our own…” That’s exactly what happened. Turns out, living together was quite the challenge. Both daughter-in-law and mother-in-law tried their best, but things just got worse every day. Tensions kept bubbling up, and the arguments became more frequent as time went on. “You said if we couldn’t stand it, we’d just move out!” the wife cried in frustration. “And didn’t we?” her husband shrugged indifferently. “These are minor issues—not worth packing up and leaving over, are they?” Exactly one year after their wedding, she became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby boy. The arrival of the grandson coincided with the mother-in-law leaving her job—and she hadn’t found a new one yet, as nobody wanted to hire someone nearing retirement. So mother-in-law and daughter-in-law were suddenly home together 24/7, neither able to go out much, and the atmosphere at home worsened every day. The husband shrugged and listened to their complaints—he was the only one bringing in any money. “We can’t leave my mother alone right now, she hasn’t got the means to support herself. I can’t abandon her, and I can’t afford to rent a place and help Mum out at the same time. Once she finds a job, we’ll move out.” But the young mother’s patience wore thin. She packed her things and her son’s as well, and moved in with her own mum. When she left, she told her husband she’d never set foot in his mother’s house again. If he truly cared about his family, he’d have to do something about it. She was sure her husband valued their family and would try hard to win them back. But she was very wrong. It’s been more than three months since she moved out, and her husband hasn’t made any attempt to bring her home. He still lives with his mother, keeps in touch with his wife and child via video calls after work, and visits them at his mother-in-law’s on weekends. He enjoys attention and care from two women at once, his mother has all the sympathy in the world for her poor son “abandoned” by that angry wife, and he doesn’t actually have to look after the child! The husband’s winning! And the mother-in-law probably feels like nothing’s changed at all. The young wife, meanwhile, is far from happy. She loves her husband—even though she knows he’s acting poorly. “What did you think would happen when you left?” he asks. “You’re welcome to come back whenever you like.” Realistically, the wife has no intention of leaving her own mum to rent her own flat. She’s on maternity leave, after all; she hasn’t got the means. Is this truly the end of their family? Do you think she has even the slightest chance of going back to her mother-in-law’s house and saving face in this situation?