I could hardly believe what was happening to me. My wife, the woman I thought would always be my rock and my greatest support, stood before me this morning and said, I dont love you anymore.
The shock left me frozen in the middle of the kitchen, clutching a tea towel foolishly. She busied herself, packing her things, the jangling of keys and the sound of drawers opening and closing the only noise in our once-happy home. As if things werent hard enough. Only a few weeks back, Id lost my father unexpectedly and, grieving though I was, I had to put on a brave face, care for my ageing mother and my younger sister, Rebecca. Shed been left disabled ever since a terrible head injury at eighteen. They lived in a nearby town. My son, Oliver, had only just started in Year 1. To top it off, the factory where I worked shut down in June and I found myself unemployed. Now this my wife leaving.
I sat down at the table, buried my head in my hands, and sobbed bitterly.
Oh, Lord, what am I supposed to do now? How do I carry on? Blimey, Oliver! I realised I had to dash I needed to pick him up from school.
Daily responsibilities dragged me up from my chair and pushed me out the door. At the school gate, my son looked up at me, anxiety written all over his little face.
Dad, youve been crying, havent you?
No, Ollie, not at all.
Are you crying over Grandad? I miss him so much, Dad.
I know, mate, so do I. But we have to stay strong, like Grandad always was. Hes with God now, having a well-deserved rest. He never got to rest much in life.
Wheres Mum?
Mum? Shes probably away on a business trip again. How was school?
You have to keep living. If she doesnt love me, nothing to be done. Theres no forcing love the old cliché rings painfully true. Somewhere along the line, in all the chaos, Id missed the signs.
While Oliver was having his lunch and playing with his toy soldiers, I sat down at my wifes computer something Id never done before. The email was easily accessible in the corner, and she hadnt had chance to delete her messages. There it was, all laid bare. Shed found love elsewhere, while I was now the unwanted man. For ten years, Id been her darling sunshine. After eight tough years battling to have Oliver, Id become our amazing dad too.
Yet everything had changed, and Id have to get used to that. But the first order of business was finding a job. My degree didnt seem to make a difference to anyone. The measly Jobseekers Allowance didnt cover much.
What had happened? How had my responsible, dependable, caring wife suddenly turned into a stranger? Was she not herself? Or had I missed something? The house wed painstakingly built together, bit by bit, was still unfinished. At least there was a roof over my head, and one room liveable.
Oh, how I need a job! Tears threatened again, but I hadnt time for that. I needed to get working as soon as possible.
Several days passed in fruitless searching. With Oliver just starting school and my being newly single, my chances were slim to none. Then, one evening, my mate and godfather to Oliver, Peter, rang me.
Nick, any news? Has Sarah come back?
No.
How about working as a warehouse clerk? Interested?
Youre not joking?
No joke, mate. I know its been tough since Sarah walked out. Its part-time you could still drop off and pick up Oliver, or sort after-school club. Twenty-five grand a year, not much, but more than nothing. Tomorrow, Ill bring you some potatoes, onions, and a chicken.
Pete, weve got chickens theyre keeping us fed and in eggs.
Dont eat those, then. Keep them as long as you can.
Thanks. Hows Emily?
Shes coping. Shes a real trooper.
Thats how he always was. His wife had been through major surgery and was having chemotherapy, but not once did he complain. Everything was always fine. I breathed a sigh of relief life might just go on. Thank God for mates like Peter.
The job was manageable, and I found moments to think and process what had happened. Days turned into weeks, then months. A year later, I found myself able to eat, sleep, laugh, and genuinely celebrate Olivers successes at school. The pain of my wifes betrayal returned whenever she visited to collect Oliver for a weekend, but I never once stopped her. Our son didnt deserve to be caught in the middle.
I often wondered what Id done wrong, though deep down, I knew the truth: it was simply her falling for someone else a sudden passion that had nothing to do with me. I remembered a line from an old film: Love lasts until the first turning, then real life begins. For me, love and life were inseparable. For her, it seemed not.
That autumn seemed to melt seamlessly from summer: warm days, green leaves, childrens laughter on the street, and a riot of asters and chrysanthemums in the front garden. The day I met Michael was much like any other perhaps the sun shone a little brighter and the neighbours music played a bit louder. Or perhaps it was simply fate, bringing two lonely souls together.
Can I give you a hand with those bags? he called out.
Im used to it, I replied.
Its a shame to see a lady like you get used to lugging things about.
You help all the ladies, do you? Or do you just stake out the supermarket waiting for a damsel in distress?
He grinned, Yeah, thats right. Been waiting ages, and finally spotted a true beauty.
It was impossible not to laugh. We both chuckled properly, to the point of tears.
Michael, he said, offering a handshake, the mischief still glinting in his eyes.
Natalie, I replied.
Natalie, Natalie, not anyones wife? he teased, referencing a song I vaguely remembered.
No, Im not, I smiled.
Well, arent I lucky? A dream girl, actually single. Has everyone lost their minds or what?
At least youve got a sense of humour. Thats something. Are you ever serious?
I can be. Nat, how about a film this evening Id love to get to know you better.
Im afraid not. Got to collect my son from after-school club.
Wait, you have a son? You barely look twenty!
Im thirty-five.
So am I what are the chances! I honestly thought you were much younger.
Not anymore. I suspect lifes aged me.
All men hope to have a son. I cant believe youre single wheres his dad?
Id rather not talk about that now.
Understood. Then maybe the weekend? Could take your boy to a childrens film?
Hes seeing his dad on weekends.
I dont want to pressure you, Natalie, but if you ever have a couple of free hours, give me a call. Heres my card Im a paediatric haematologist.
Couldnt get much more serious, could it?
Nor do I have time to hang about hunting for beautiful women.
All right, Michael. Ill call if I can, I said, as honestly as I could.
Ill be waiting.
That autumn was beautiful, really a gift for both of us. The gentle sun deepened the colour of the leaves, the citys parks beckoned. In that golden season, kindness and affection outshone the pain of my past and slowly drew me towards this extraordinary man. About a month and a half after our first meeting, I took the plunge and asked him over for tea.
Natalie, please dont be offended, but Im not coming round yours yet. Whats happening between us is important to me. Lets take it slow, please trust me.
The next weekend, we went out to a nature reserve, where Michael had booked a cottage that looked almost like a miniature castle. Inside, it was warm and homely, but I barely noticed I was utterly lost in Michaels deep brown eyes as I melted into his arms. Id never known such tender intimacy.
Michael, where am I, whats happening? I feel as if Im dying. I love you so much. How did I ever live without you? Im so happy!
And Ive never been this happy.
Within two more months, parting became almost impossible.
Natalie, marry me, he said.
Im still waiting on my divorce at the end of the month.
And then marry me right after before someone else snaps up my girl.
Im not running off with just anyone, you know. Youre my chosen one. But Michael, lets skip all the fuss just a simple register office wedding and then take me to that little castle, where I became yours forever.
All right, love. Whatever you say.
Peter and Emily were our only witnesses. My mum and Rebecca sent an enthusiastic card, and soon after, we moved into the two-bedroom flat Michael rented. We worked together to decorate and make it our own home, with Michael paying special attention to Olivers room. Hed met Michael already, but Oliver, who saw his parents as two halves of one apple, was wary.
Still, Michael sat me down one day. Natalie, dont be alarmed, but I want to check Olivers blood. Hes far too pale for my liking.
Nonsense, hes just been through a lot emotionally. The divorce hit him hard; kids take it worse than adults, I read somewhere. Its almost like a bereavement.
Youre a wise woman. I went through my own parents divorce as a child it was world-ending. But well check his blood, please, mate?
That day, Michael returned home sombre.
Natalie, keep calm. There are changes in Olivers blood my gut feeling was right, even if I wish it wasnt. Ill take him in for further tests tomorrow.
It felt cruel, as if fate was exacting payment for my happiness, at an unimaginable price: leukaemia. The word itself was terrifying.
Another new chapter began. I took unpaid leave I simply couldnt imagine Oliver facing endless jabs and drips alone. I sat by his side, held his hand, and whispered, Hang in there, my boy. Youre my greatest friend, always have been. We never left each others side, and we never will.
If I was truly worn out, Michael gently ordered me to get some rest and stayed with Oliver himself. Sleep didnt always come, though. Often, I lay staring at the ceiling.
My ex phoned, demanding I move out of our half-finished house.
Ill take care of my son myself. He can come by mine.
Why dont you come see him?
I cant. Working away at the moment.
Michael comforted me as only he could.
Natalie, well build everything ourselves. Let go of the past.
Its a bitter pill. I earned good money and sank it all into that house but is it important now? Who cares about paperwork when your child is so ill?
Dont dwell. Pour your energy into Oliver. Ill handle the rest. I always dreamt of a family, and God knows it. He wont take you two from me.
How are the blood tests, Michael?
Were doing everything we can. Still not great.
I sobbed, silent and unseen. Oliver must never suspect the truth.
Uncle Mike, whats wrong with my blood? he asked quietly.
Well, inside our blood are red ships and white ships, and yours are battling at the moment.
Whos winning?
The whites, for now.
What happens next?
You need to root for the reds.
Dad, can we go somewhere else? Im so tired.
Michael and I exchanged glances. Lets take Oliver to that cottage again, shall we? Its beautiful now. We can walk in the woods, enjoy the peace.
Spring turned our hideaway into a tapestry of blooming shrubs and trees. Together, we walked in the forest, rejoicing in every flower and blade of grass. Yet sometimes Oliver would fall quiet, lost in concentration.
What is it, son? Are you all right?
Quiet, Dad my ships are fighting a sea battle.
Soon our little holiday was over. Back at the clinic, they took more blood tests. This time, the head of laboratory came out herself.
Dr. Morgan, where did you take your son off to?
Not far, a nature reserve. Why?
The bloods good. Hes in remission.
Michael burst into the ward, hardly able to contain his excitement.
Ollie, what have you been doing? Youre getting better, son! Natalie, dont cry hes recovering. What did you do, champ?
Dad, remember your story about ships? I made sure the red ones won every sea battle.
Reflecting on all thats happened, Ive learnt this: life can throw you into the deepest shadow, but hope and love are persistent things. With a good mates support, a caring partner, and faith in small victories, you carry on, even when the odds seem impossible. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is to believe, each and every day, that brighter days will come.
