While I was studying at university and trying to hold down a job at the same time, I never seemed to have enough money for much at all. Still, those were happy days because life felt simple and worry-free. My wife and I rented a cosy little flat, and neither of us had given much thought to starting a family yet. We both agreed that the first thing we wanted was to buy a place of our own before considering children.
My parents are retired, and I have a younger sister. Shes divorced and raising my nephew on her own; hes just started Year 1 at school. Our family was never exactly flush with cash, but somehow we always managed to get by without outside help.
That period felt like a golden time, or at least I thought so at first. After graduating, I landed a promotion at work and moved up to become the main assistant to our manager. Naturally, this gave my salary a welcome bump. My wife and I jumped at the chance to get a mortgage and finally move into our own little home. We thought, if changes are coming, lets go all the wayso it was only a month later that my wife announced she was expecting. We started getting ready to welcome a child into our family. When news of my promotion got around, the whole family seemed over the moon.
But then the pressure started. My parents began reminding me that I ought to help out my sister and nephew, left in a tricky spot. My sister, on the other hand, claimed that as the eldest, it was my duty to help our parents financially. It felt like my pay packet was running out as soon as it came in. Every time I turned around, there was somethinga new, enormous telly my parents just had to have, or a pricey school trip my nephew couldnt possibly miss out on.
Meanwhile, my wife started to resent the fact she was on maternity leave and money had become tight for our own little family, all because my earnings were being stretched to support so many others. I realised I needed to wean my relatives off my bank account before they drained the last of my savings, especially with our own baby on the way. Baby clothes and supplies are ridiculously expensive these days.
Looking back, Ive learnt that as much as we want to help our families, there comes a point when you need to put the needs of your own household first. Providing for everyone else wont matter if you end up with nothing left for your own child.
