About a year ago, my wife and I made a mutual decision to have some space and live separately within our flat, to avoid getting on each others nerves and growing bored of one another. After all, we both have our own interests and things to do.
Take my wife, for exampleshe loves blaring her music and simply refuses to wear headphones. I, on the other hand, like to read in absolute peace or watch a bit of a soap on the telly. Every so often, I have to bring work home and need to take calls with clients, which disturbs her, naturally. So thats how we agreed to have our own rooms. There are only two in the flat, both already furnished. And now, I want to share my thoughts about this way of living.
Not barging in without knocking has been the best thing for us. Theres something brilliant about sitting in your own room, quietly minding your business, knowing no ones going to burst in or ask you for anything. You might wonder why youd even need to knock at all.
Its not that theres some big secret going on. As a child, I had a room of my own, but the door was always left open. My parents would regularly pop in to see what I was doing, regardless of whether I was reading, asleep, watching the telly, or playing. And I always felt I had to come up with some excuse. They never really told me offits just how it was. Yet, I always felt a bit uncomfortable.
Now, Im able to let my wife know through a closed door that Im busy. If I dont feel like talking, she doesnt walk in, which means I dont have to stop what Im doing. She gets on with her things. I think thats fantastic.
Having personal space is the height of satisfaction. I go into my room and do whatever I fancy. I dont have to ask anyones permission or coordinate my plans. I can keep my things however I like, move things around, or even just revel in a bit of messiness.
Theres also a bit of intrigue to it all. There are clear boundaries between whats mine and whats hersthese are such important feelings. I respect her space and look forward to seeing her. I never barge in but instead ask if I might come in for a chat. And when she says yes, its genuinely lovely. Its just not the same as being able to walk in anytimetheres a certain excitement to it.
It feels a bit like those early days of getting to know a girl you fancy. You never really know until the last minute whether shell say yes to some closeness.
Honestly, so many men notice that after they start living with someone, the initial thrill fadesthings just change. Your wife is always there, always available, while others are not, and that alters things. So, dividing up the rooms sorts out many problems.
Heres what Ive concluded.
Of course, when you think of wealthy people with country houses boasting ten bedrooms and countless bathrooms, this way of living is nothing new for them. But for ordinary people like us, it really is a blessing.
I know plenty of people who have only one or two rooms and still share one room constantly, all the time, because the children usually take up the other room, and if theres a third, its always a lounge. But honestly, whats the point? Both a husband and wife need their own space, even in a modest flat.
