About a year ago, my wife and I made the decision to have our own separate rooms in our flat, just to avoid getting on each others nerves and becoming bored of one another. After all, we each have our own lives and interests.
For instance, my wife is a huge fan of blasting music out loud, and theres absolutely no way shell ever use headphones. I, on the other hand, enjoy reading books in absolute peace and quiet, or watching dramas on the telly. Now and again, I also have to bring my work home and take business calls, which tends to disturb her as well. So, we agreed the best thing to do was to live in different rooms. There are only two rooms in our flat, both nicely furnished, and Id like to share what its like to live this way.
Knocking before entering is a game-changer. Its rather brilliantthere you are, in your room, minding your own business, with complete privacy and no interruptions. You might wonder, why go to the bother of knocking?
Its actually nothing out of the ordinary. When I was a child, I had my own room too, but the door was always left open. My parents would wander in frequently to check what I was up to, no matter if I was reading, napping, watching TV, or playing. I always had to come up with excuses for what I was doing, not because anyone was cross with me, but because thats just the way things were. I never felt completely at ease about it.
Now, if Im busy, I tell my wife through a closed door, and if I dont feel like talking, she doesnt come in. She respects my privacy and carries on with whatever shes doing. Its fantastic!
Having your own personal space is a true delight. I head to my room and do exactly what I please. Theres no need to coordinate with anyone, ask for permission, or compromise. I keep all my things just how I like them, organise (or not!) as I see fit, or simply enjoy having a bit of mess around.
Theres even a bit of mystery to it all. There are clear boundaries between my space and hers, and thats really important. I respect her space and only visit if she invites me in. I dont barge in unexpectedly; instead, I ask if its alright for me to pop by. And when she says yes, it still feels lovely. Its not the same as waltzing in whenever you liketheres a sense of anticipation.
Its a bit like speaking to a girl before youre together; you never quite know, until the last minute, if shell be up for a bit of closeness.
So many men notice that after moving in together, that initial spark tends to fade, and things arent quite the same. When your wife is always there, theres no sense of excitement, but setting up separate rooms really can solve a lot of problems.
What have I learnt from all this?
Obviously, if youre well-off and living in a country house with ten bedrooms and a handful of bathrooms, this is all perfectly normal. But for regular people like us, its nothing short of a blessing.
I know plenty of people with only one or two rooms and the entire family crammed into one together, simply because the children are always in the other room. If theres a third room, its usually turned into the lounge. But honestly, whats the point? Both husband and wife need their own spaces, even in an ordinary flat.
