They say were responsible for everything that happens in our lives, and that whatever we choose, we live with the consequences.
Looking back, I made a poor decision when I tied my fate to a man who never took life seriously. In my younger days, I was head over heels for Michael. Though I knew he was a bit of a layabout, I foolishly believed hed grow up for my sake. I let myself believe hed change; I held onto hope. But the truth is, people are what they are at their core. Even after our son was born, Michael didn’t alter his ways.
Every month, I learned more about his so-called adventures. Neighbours, friends, even my own family would tell me what hed been up to. The shame and humiliation were indescribable. I put up with it for five years before I finally had enough and filed for divorce. The one good thing was that Michael wasnt greedy; he left me his flat, asking only that I wouldnt chase him for child maintenance. My son and I didnt want to live there, though. I let it out and we moved in with my mum, who needed caring for. Thats how we managed.
Rent from the flat covered my sons needs school things, nice clothes, the odd trip or two, and toys. I tried my best to give him a decent childhood. The rest of the income paid for the bills, food, and all the medicines my mother needed after becoming bedridden for years. I only hoped my son appreciated the life I tried to give him. Now Im 57, diabetic, stuck with insulin injections for the rest of my life, trying to hold on as long as I can.
Because of my health, Im not fit for work, and lets be honest, whos going to hire me at my age? Besides, Ive got no pension to fall back on, what with so many job changes over the years and little official employment at that. I often took cash-in-hand work to make ends meet. So, really, my only income is the rent from that flat. Now my son, Daniel, is 31, and hes just got married. He tells me he and his new wife will be moving into the flat.
When I explained that if I lost that income, Id have nothing left to live on, my own son shrugged and said it was my problem to deal with. Now Im utterly lost. Ive got no savings, I need constant medication, food on the table, and the bills dont pay themselves. What am I to do? How could my own son turn his back on me this way? What did I do to deserve it?
If theres anything this chapter of my life has taught me, its that hoping others will change for you or repay sacrifices in kind is a dangerous gamble. You need to make choices thinking of your own future because, at the end of it all, you might find youre the only one truly looking out for yourself.
