My husband and I have built our success through hard work, while our younger siblings have always enjoyed generous support from our parents. We dont feel entitled to anything, but at the same time, it seems strange that our parents feel no obligation to support our younger siblings so much more than they ever supported us. It leaves us wondering why theres such an uneven attitude towards us.
I remember vividly when my father gave my brother a brand new car and kept the old one for himself. Later, I found out my brother and his wife had moved into a lovely flat inherited from our grandfather as soon as they got married. Theres quite a gapten yearsbetween my brother and me, but before his wedding, our parents treated us almost like distant acquaintances. The moment my brother shared his happy news, however, they handed him the keys to this luxurious flat without even a question.
Curious and a little hurt, I finally asked my mother why she always favoured my brother so blatantly, never offering the same to me or my husband. Her answer was truly disappointing: Did you ever ask for help? Did you even notice the state your own house was in? Didnt you realise you didnt have a car? Her words brought back a flood of memoriesof me and my husband building our lives step by step, crying as I remembered it all. When our child was born, we moved into nearly empty rooms, scraping by with help from friends. Things were so hard that sometimes I was terrified to call a doctor when our child was unwell, worried that our living conditions might be reported to social services.
Meanwhile, on my husbands side, his sister seemed to take pride of place in the family. My in-laws decided to move out to the countryside, just so their daughter could have a flat of her own and enjoy her privacyeven though moving meant endless commuting for them. Still, the daughter depended on them for everything, even food. Every week theyd visit her, filling up every dish in the kitchen before heading back to the village.
Eventually, I gathered the nerve to ask my mother directly why she showered my brother with everything while offering us nothing. She responded harshly, reminding me that wed never asked for help, even though she must have been aware of our difficulties. Her words cut deeply, and I still find it hard to forgive her, and my father, for this unequal treatmentjust as my husband struggles with his own parents favoritism.
In the end, this long-standing favouritism from our parentsalways giving preference to the younger siblings while holding us to entirely different standardsleaves behind only pain and lingering resentment. Its so hard to make sense of why we were seen so differently, and impossible to shake the feeling of injustice that remains.
