My husband and I managed to build our success through our own hard work, while our younger siblings received a lot of support from our parents. We dont feel entitled to anything, but at the same time, we believe our parents arent obliged to look after our siblings forever either. Still, we cant help but wonder why theres been such a glaring difference in how weve been treated. I remember my father giving my brother a brand new car, choosing to keep the old one for himself, and later, hearing that after my brother married, he and his wife moved straight into a lovely flat that had been left to us by our grandfather. Theres a ten-year age gap between my brother and me, but before his wedding, my parents treated us almost like strangersuntil, as soon as my brother broke the good news, they handed over that smart flat without a second thought.
I once asked my mother why they so openly favoured my brother, while giving nothing to me and my husband. Her reply left me deflated: Did you ever ask for help? Werent you aware of the state your house was in? Didnt you notice you didnt even have a car? I was instantly swamped by memories of how, in the early days, my husband and I tried to build a life together from scratchsometimes with little more than the kindness of friends. When our child was born, we moved into a nearly empty house and had to put in every bit of effort on our own to make it a home. Things were so tough that I was afraid to ring up a GP when our baby was poorly, in case someone reported how sparse our living conditions were to social services.
On the other hand, my sister-in-lawmy husbands younger sisterseemed to be the adored golden child in her family. My in-laws actually moved out to a village so she could have their city flat all to herself and enjoy her independence, even though that meant a long daily commute for them. Yet she couldnt manage even the basics, like preparing meals, without their support. Theyd visit her every week with baskets full of food, filling her kitchen before heading back to the countryside.
Eventually, I worked up the nerve to ask my mother again why she had given my brother everything while barely offering me or my husband any support. Her answer was blunt and cold: she reminded me wed never actually asked for help, even though she must have known how hard things were for us. Her words cut deep, and to this day, I still struggle to forgive both her and my father for this unfairness, as does my husband with his own parents.
In the end, the uneven treatment from our parentsalways favouring my younger brotherbecame a lasting source of heartache and resentment. Its a sad reality to realise that siblings can be held to such different standards, sowing long-lasting feelings of injustice. But perhaps the greatest lesson is this: sometimes, the life you build for yourself, through adversity and hard work, is its own reward, and learning to let go of resentment can open the door to real peace.
