June 15th
The tension between Mum and me has been building for ages, but everything boiled over yesterday. Its all about our living situationwe share a flat, and shes been trying to nudge me out for years. Naturally, she hasnt succeeded; Im on the tenancy, so I have every right to stay. Honestly, the number of reasons shes come up with over the years is staggering. I keep wishing we could get along better, but it seems impossible lately.
I know its not the norm for someone in their thirties to live with their mother, and I admit it feels awkward. When Henry and I got married, we didnt really have any other option. Then we had the boysmoving seemed impossible with newborns and no time to sort things out.
Moneys always tight. My salary isnt much, and Henry works from home, but his freelance jobs arent steady. Some weeks theres nothing at all, and his income goes up and down accordingly. We barely scrape together enough to pay off our car loan, which we genuinely needed. Mum isnt pleased about that either.
So, here we are, still living with Mum. Its easier, to be honestwe split the bills and food costs. Plus, Mum helps out with the boys, which is a real lifesaver. That said, for the past two years, shes been non-stop about us buying our own place and moving out. I wish we could, but where are we supposed to find that sort of money? At first, she was subtle, and I tried explaining patiently that were saving, but it has reached a point where every conversation turns into a row.
Henry tries to keep out of it; hes keen not to have conflict with his mother-in-law, and I totally get it. I just wish he would stick up for me sometimes. But honestly, what could he do? The only real solution is to buy a flat, but we cant even think about that until the car is paid off.
I know Mum wants her own space and a bit of quiet in her later years, but thats no reason to throw us out. Shes let it slip several times that she plans to leave the flat to me eventuallyso why all the fuss about us being here?
The latest drama happened because my aunt passed away, leaving Mum a small one-bedroom flat. I was optimistic, for once, thinking this could be what Mum neededa cozy, quiet place, just for her. Shed finally have the peace she says she wants.
But Mum turned around and flat-out refused to move. Even more shocking, she said we couldnt have the new flat either. Instead, she told us it was our problem and we needed to sort our own place out.
Is this fair? I feel lost. Were not speaking at all now, and I honestly dont know how we move forward from here. The atmosphere at home is unbearable. I keep asking myself: how can we possibly fix this, or even talk again?
