Mum will be living with us, and thats final, my husband declared. And that same evening, he was packing his bags.
There are men of a certain kindthey make decisions with the care of someone hammering a nail, quick and forceful, without looking where the nail might go.
Richard was one of these.
Not a cruel man, no. Hardworking, reliable, adoring of his mumsay what you like, you cant take that from him. He just had it in his bones that once he decided, that was the end of it. His wife might grumble, but shed give in. Always did.
And Alice did accept things. She wore that patient smile women put on when theyve been in the know for years.
But then, one evening, Richard breezed in, set the kettle to boil, and announced:
Mums moving in. Thats it.
He said it with the air of reading the weather report, not calling a family meeting or asking for sympathy.
Alice was at the hob.
Hang on she began.
Alice. Richard said her name in that tone he used to close windows and shut topics down. Shes all alone now. Shes seventy. Shes my responsibility.
Responsibility. That word, as though duty extended only to him, as if Alice just happened to be standing by.
Rich she tried softly, Lets talk about this. Your mum is lovely, Im not saying otherwise. But this is our flat. Just two rooms, just us.
Two sofas, he interjected. Wheres the issue?
Alice turned off the cooker. She faced him, studying his face, trying to gaugedid he actually hear her, or did everything outside his own decisions simply slide past, silent and unnoticed?
So, its decided? she asked.
Yes.
Without me.
Shes my mum.
Thats all.
Alice nodded, slowly, as if considering the shape of the clouds.
All right, she said at last.
And she went into the other room.
Richard lingered in the kitchen, then drifted to the living room and back again. Sat. Stood. The man makes a decision and finds no one is delighted by it.
Alice sat on the edge of the bed and watched the dusk drift behind the glass.
Decided everything, without asking, she repeated to herself.
They didnt have a conversation that night, or the next morning.
Come the second day, Alice tried again.
Richard sat, scrolling through his phone, his evening ritual, when Alice came to perch beside him, folding her hands in her lap.
Rich. Please, lets talk.
He put his phone asidewhich in itself meant something.
All right.
I get youre worried for your mum, I do. It must be hard for her, on her own. But this is a small place and sometimes, even with just us, its crowded. Add her, and
And? he said.
Itll be awkward. For me, I mean.
You dont like her, do you?
Alice closed her eyes for a heartbeat.
That question. As soon as a woman says itll be inconvenient, you get: ah, so you dont care for her? As if you cant love someone and also not want to share your entire two rooms.
I like your mum just fine, she said patiently. We get on. Its one thing to visitanother to live together. Not the same, Rich.
Shes family.
I know.
Shes lonely.
I understand.
So whats the problem, then?
Alice studied him a long moment. Then quietly, Are you even hearing me?
He didnt answer. He picked up his phone. The conversation was over.
The next day, Judith called.
Hello, Alice, love. Her voice was soft, almost apologetic. Sorry to ring out the blue. Richard called. Its a bit awkward, I realise.
Its all right, Mrs. Taylor, Alice replied on autopilot.
Its not, though, her mother-in-law soothed. I can tell by your voice.
Alice was silent.
I just dont quite know how it would work, she admitted.
Oh, I do, Judith said wryly. Had a mother-in-law myself onceforty years ago. She moved in, and that was that. Lasted three months before we couldnt take it any longer.
Alice smiled, despite herself.
But Richard was quite insistent, Alice murmured.
Richard is Richard, Judith said fondly. A good lad. Sometimes too goodwhen he thinks somethings proper, you cant sway him. He was always stubborn as a boy. Got his mind set, never let go.
Alice kept quiet. There was nothing to add.
Try speaking to him again, Judith suggested. Not about the space. Tell him: Richard, it matters to me that you ask my opinion. Thats what you should say.
And if he wont listen?
Silence.
Then its a different conversation, her mother-in-law said gently. But I think he will. Men come out of a decision-making fog slowly, like great ships turning.
Alice couldnt help but laugh.
Thank you, she said.
Think nothing of it. And dont ever believe I want to cause trouble between you. Whatever Richard says, I dont want that, pet. Remember.
That evening, Richard came home and could sense a change.
What? he asked.
Nothing.
They ate, then Alice spoke.
Richard, can I say one thing? Just one, please, dont interrupt me.
He nodded.
I dont care whose mother it is, or whether we have two rooms or ten. What matters is, you made a decision affecting both of us, and you didnt ask me. As though Im not here.
Richard opened his mouth.
Dont interrupt, she reminded him.
He shut it.
Thats all I wanted to say.
She got up to wash the dishes.
Richard stared at the tablecloth a long time. Then he went out onto the tiny balcony, stood in the cool air, came back. He joined her at the sink, wrapped his arms around her.
All right, Alice said. Shall we have some tea?
Richard cradled his mug silently.
Did you call your mum today? Alice asked.
Not yet.
She phoned me.
Richard looked up.
What did she say?
All sorts, Alice replied. Shes a clever woman.
He nodded, abashed, the bashful pride of someone whose own is praised.
She is, he agreed.
Rain started misting the window. They sat together, and something heavy seemed to loosen, finally, falling away.
The next day, Richard called his mother, Alice listening from the kitchen doorway.
Mum, best start packing your bits. Ill pop over this weekend, give you a hand.
Alice stood in the kitchen doorway, taking in his words. Richard ended the call and turned. He saw her face.
No, Alice said quietly.
He grimaced.
Alice, I cant just leave her alone, you know?
Im not asking you to abandon her, said Alice, cutting over him. Im asking you to include me in the decision. Simply that.
Richard got up. Walked the roomthere, back, again.
You know what? If your comfort matters more to you than my mum
Richard. Her voice was soft, almost sad. Dont.
No, let me finish! His voice rosefirst time all week. I cant choose between wife and mother! Its not right, being forced to choose!
No ones forcing you, Richard, Alice replied. Youre doing that to yourself by making decisions alone and expecting Ill just nod along.
So you wont agree?
No.
Richard looked at her, something new on his face: confusion, hurt, anger, and something else nameless.
Fine, he said.
He left for the bedroom. Alice heard the wardrobe open.
He came out with a bag. Put on his coat.
Ill stay at Toms tonight, he said.
All right, Alice answered.
He picked up his keys. Hovered a second.
You realise this isnt normal, like this?
I do, she replied. But why do you think not consulting me is normal?
Richard opened his mouth, found nothing to say, and left.
The door closed.
Alice went back to the kitchen.
As the kettle rumbled, Judith rang.
Alice, forgive me. Richard texted, said hes off to a mates. Is it my fault?
Mrs Taylor
Dont, said Judith. I know. Its me.
Its him, Alice corrected. Once again, he decided for both of us.
Pause.
Right, Judith said firmly.
What?
Right thing to do. Alice, love, Im not moving in. At all. My own choice, independent of Richard. Im nearly seventy, managed on my own all this time, and Ill go on just fine. Hes a good boy, but sometimes needs to be stopped. You did itI couldnt get through.
The next morning, Alice awoke at half seven. No messages.
Life, as it does, kept on.
Richard returned the following day, ten to ten, knocking, though he still had his keys. That spoke volumes.
Alice opened the door. There he stood, a bit crumpled from his mates sofa, bag in hand.
May I come in?
Of course.
They went to the kitchen. He sat, hands flat on the table, staring at his knuckles.
Mum called, he said.
I know.
She said shes not moving in. Her own decisiontold me not to pester her. Said, too, that I was behaving like an idiot. More or less.
Judiths wise, Alice said.
He nodded, without his usual sarcasm.
Alice, Im not great at all these words, and you know it.
I do.
But I understand now. I shouldnt have made that choice alone. I was wrong.
Alice looked at him.
Yes, you were, she agreed.
Wont happen again, he said.
Alice poured tea, set his cup before him.
As for your mum, she said, I dont mind her coming for weekends, visits, a bit of help now and then. Thats fineeven good, really.
I get it, Richard said.
He looked at her, that new look still on his face.
Youre brilliant, he murmured.
I know, Alice replied.
And for the first time in days, she smiled.
Outside, the autumn sun was shining in that gentle, neither-hot-nor-bright way, just perfectly right, as though, at last, everything was where it should be.
