I often lacked my mother’s support and communication in my youth. My father and I would often stay together, he would take me to clubs, and we would go fishing with him, all because he was unemployed more often than my mother was. She was supporting our family all by herself, while my dad couldn’t find his own place in life. And I have no right to take offense at her, but as a girl I wanted to discuss certain things with her.
Because of my endless work we were not close at all, and I was afraid to tell her something too personal, so I made more girlfriends to discuss everything with them. Over the years I got used to my mother being the breadwinner, not the one to listen and help. She didn’t have time to give me advice at all when I was choosing a groom, and she didn’t help me with the wedding. Later on, she wasn’t particularly keen on babysitting her grandson either. But when she turned sixty-three and took her long-awaited pension, she began to miss me.
Daddy’s socializing was not enough for her, she constantly called me or her son-in-law, persuaded me to go somewhere together, take my grandson and me for a walk, and so on. More and more often she calls me to go shopping and wants to spend some money on me, just so we can spend the day together. But now I have work and things to do. And I don’t know if it wouldn’t be strange after all these years to get closer.
My mom and I have a good relationship, we never fight, but I already have my own social circle, and sometimes I think I’d rather go with my girlfriend to the salon for a manicure than with my mom. Is that what she and I are going to talk about? About the past? Some things are awkward to discuss with her, some things just don’t make sense.
Maybe I’m doing it wrong, but I refuse to have unnecessary meetings with her. I can almost always talk on the phone, but I don’t feel like wandering around the city in uncomfortable silence.
