I sent my mother to a nursing home, but I’m ashamed to admit it to other people, because everyone around me says that only children who don’t need or care about their family do this. But you shouldn’t say that when you don’t know the whole situation. It so happened that because of living with my mother, I started to fear for my own life.
Often, when I returned home, I found the apartment door open and the water running, which was already starting to pour on the floor and drown the neighbors. Twice I found open gas burners. I was lucky that I was let home early and didn’t go anywhere on the way…
Every day my mother became more and more distant from the world. She was forgetting what she had known for years, and the worst part was that it could have been her end.
And one day, when I came home and turned off the water once again, I found that it was nowhere to be found. I was truly terrified that she had gone somewhere, and it was not a given that she would remember the way home. I managed to find her on the next street with the help of neighbors. I was scolding her then, and then I stopped talking, because it was obvious from her eyes that she did not recognize me and did not understand why she was being yelled at.
My mother is 70 years old and sometimes she is a fairly adequate woman to talk to, but more and more often she does something that makes me want to scream to all the help services and beat my head against the walls. I can’t sleep properly anymore because of the thoughts of what might happen. I’m constantly stressed at work because I don’t know what’s going on at home. I can’t even arrange my personal life, because all my thoughts are occupied with her.
The night before I decided to take my mother there, she threw all the pillows, bedding and even the microwave out of the 3rd floor window. When I asked her why she did that, she waved her head like a child, as if it hadn’t happened. All night long I kept thinking that I might find her under the window next time.
I sincerely did not want to take my mom there. Even after I had already made arrangements and packed my things, I felt bad at the thought of her being away, but it was the only solution to the problem.
After she was under constant supervision, I started to breathe easy. I visit her every week on weekends and I noticed that she has made friends there, and the doctors give her medication, which has reduced her seizures. She is not offended by me at all, but I still feel guilty and ashamed to admit to anyone that I brought her there myself.
I am sure that among the readers of this story there will also be those who will say that they would have come up with other solutions to the problem, but would not have given up their mother. But, to be honest, I’m tired of living with constant anxiety, I finally felt that I could breathe, so I don’t plan to take her away, but I will visit her and bring her everything she needs always.
What do you think about this situation? What would you do in the girl’s place?
