A man has started living with an underage girl! Come quick! Thats what the neighbours told the police when they called. Theres a bloke next door with a young girl! You need to check it out!
A few months after our wedding, me and the wife were flat-hunting and finally settled on a place with a mortgage. For ages, Id pop over alone to sort out the repairs and manage the builders, while she only came by now and then. Thats how I got to know the neighboursan elderly couple, Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins. Since we were new to the area, we thought itd be nice to have a little housewarming and invite them round.
The moment they sat down and met my wife, their attitude changed. Bit odd, but I didnt dwell on itshe just kept distracting me with her sweet little kisses and cuddles, so I forgot all about it. They left in a hurry, and honestly, we were too wrapped up in our own happiness to care.
Then, early the next morning, theres a loud knock at the door. Straight away, I knew our fresh start wasnt going as planned, cause standing there was a local bobby, eyeing me up like Id done something dodgy.
Morning, sir. Neighbourhood officer, he said, flashing his badge. Mind showing me your marriage certificate with your, uh, wife? Gobsmacked, I started rummaging through all the unpacked boxes.
Ten minutes later, I finally found it and handed it over. He squinted at my wife, then the certificate, raised an eyebrow, and said, Right. Thatll do. Thanks for your cooperation.
Sorry, but whats this about?
Got a report saying a man was living here with an underage girlreckoned she wasnt even 16.
I burst out laughing. The whole thing was ridiculousmy missus was actually a year older than me! I was 22, she was 23. Thing is, shes tiny, with a baby face, and without makeup and her hair in a ponytail, she could pass for a schoolgirl. Meanwhile, all the stress from sorting the flat for months had me looking roughtired, unshaven, like some middle-aged bloke. Time for a proper kip and a shave, so I dont look like her dad next to my lovely wife.
