My husband left me after eleven years of marriage, and the reason he gave was shockingly simple: in his opinion, I had stopped taking care of myself. He said it had been building up for a while, though he never once spoke openly about it.
When we first met, I made an effort every day. Make-up, carefully chosen outfits, my hair always done. I worked, went out, and made time just for myself. Then the children arrived, followed by the daily grind and responsibilities. I kept working, but also took charge of the home the cooking, cleaning, the doctors appointments, all the unseen things that keep a family running.
My days started before six in the morning and rarely finished before midnight. More often than not, Id leave the house barefaced, simply because I didnt have a spare minute. I’d throw on whatever clean clothes were closest to hand. It wasnt that I didnt care; I was just utterly exhausted. Hed come home, eat his dinner, sit in front of the television, and then drift off to sleep. Not once did he ask how I was or offer to help out.
Eventually, the criticisms began. That I didnt look after myself like I used to. That I didnt wear dresses anymore. That I looked a mess. I thought they were just offhand remarks. I never imagined theyd become reasons for him to leave. He never once said, I feel distant from you, or We need to talk. One day, he just packed his bags and walked out.
On the day he left, he said it plainly. That he didnt feel the same anymore, that Id changed, that he missed the woman who looked after herself for him. I reminded him of all I had done: for the house, for our children, for us as a family. He replied that it wasnt enough, that he needed someone he could be proud of.
He quietly loaded his things into the car. A few days later, I heard he was seeing someone else. A woman with no children, plenty of time for the gym, able to primp for hours every day. Thats when I realised the issue had never really been about make-up at all.
These days I still wake early, I still work, and I still keep our home together. I look after myself when I choose to, not when anyone else expects it. I didnt stop taking care of myself out of lack of love; I stopped because I was carrying an entire family on my shoulders. And even then, he left. Ive thought about joining a fitness club, but the truth is, I just dont have the time. In the end, it turns out he simply didnt want me not the real me, at least.
If theres one thing Ive learned, its this: no one should ever be made to feel they are not enough simply for giving all they have. True worth isnt measured by appearances, but by the quiet strength it takes to keep a family together even when nobody notices.












