My husband is the king of the couch, while our neighbor is a real hero. Why is life so unfair?
I’m just twenty-eight, and my husband is thirty-seven. We’re a young family with two wonderful children. Despite living in the 21st century, it often feels like we’ve been transported back to an earlier era. My husband, Alex, believes in old-fashioned roles: the man should earn the money, and the woman should cook and clean. Honestly, isn’t that absurd?
When we got married, I hoped we’d be partners in life, household duties, and parenting. That no one would label chores as “men’s work” or “you can handle it.” Unfortunately, Alex thinks it’s beneath him to pick up a cloth or even turn on the washing machine. He might dust once a month if I really plead, but making breakfast for the kids is beyond him. It’s as if he thinks the frying pan will bite him.
Against this backdrop, let me tell you about someone I truly admire—our neighbor, Tom. Yes, just an ordinary guy living in our apartment block. His name is Tom.
Tom and Natalie, a young couple in their thirties, live on the floor above. Natalie is a confident, career-oriented woman, working at a major international company in a high-ranking position. She drives a luxurious car and always looks elegant and assured.
Meanwhile, Tom is currently between jobs. And do you know what he’s doing? He’s simply a fantastic father and husband! When their baby was born, he didn’t disappear into the pub or hide behind the TV. Instead, he took paternity leave. Yes, he did.
And you can’t imagine how well he manages it! He takes the stroller out in the mornings, cooks porridge, washes the baby clothes, cleans up, and prepares lunch. He’s like a superhero in a kitchen apron. Their child is a picture of happiness in his care. Tom’s entire world is his family.
When Natalie returns from work, she always greets him with a smile. Watching them, it’s hard not to feel a sting of envy. They seem to have stepped out of an image of a perfect marriage: in love, respecting each other, solving everything together—from changing nappies to planning vacations.
One day, I saw him mopping the floor while singing to their baby in the crib, and it tugged at my heart. Not because Alex is a bad husband, but because he doesn’t want to be like that. He considers it unbecoming for a real man to care for the home.
Occasionally, I hint to Alex, like pointing out how Tom walks with his son or cooks dinner. But Alex just scoffs and says, “Well, if he’s that bored.” Or, “Natalie will get tired of him soon—women don’t like men under the thumb.” It makes me want to scream.
It’s both funny and sad: is caring a weakness? Is love only about paying the bills? I don’t wish for Alex to make gourmet soups or embroider pillows. I just want him sometimes to say, “I’ll handle this, have a rest.” Or surprise me with breakfast in bed once in a while. Or just take the youngest in his arms and say, “Go have a nap.” But no. He thinks that’s a woman’s duty and he’s the breadwinner.
So, whenever I see Tom, I want to applaud. Not because he’s better than my husband, but because he’s different. Because he knows how to love through actions, not just words. Because he’s unafraid of being ‘not what he was expected to be’ from childhood. Because he has the courage to be a genuinely good person.
Maybe someday, Alex will realize that love is more than just earning money. That a woman’s happiness isn’t just about flowers on one special day, but in the attention given every single day. In the meantime, I only hope my children will have the kind of father that Tom is to his son.
True masculinity is not in the strength of hands, but in the strength of the heart. Sadly, not everyone was taught that.
