I am married to a man who has been married before, with two children from that first union. My husband parted ways with his ex-wife ages ago, yet they remain in regular contact, mostly to discuss matters regarding their children. He pays child support, so he continues to help. My husband is endlessly informed about everything going on with his children, his ex, even his former mother-in-law.
One night, everything turned upside down. I discovered that my husband had resolved to support his ex-wife financially. Apparently, shes drowning in debt. About three years ago, she took out a hefty bank loan to start a tiny little shop. But, for reasons no one seems to explain, the business crumbled. The loan was spent, and now theres nothing to pay it back with, the sum only growing larger. In her confusion, she considered signing her few remaining possessions over to her mum. Otherwise, she and the children would end up on the streetall debts, no shelter.
My husband just learnt all of this, and now hes tiptoeing around, dropping hints in my direction. See, his ex has debtsand his children are involved too. Perhaps we could help her out with some money. Otherwise, shell never pay it off, not before she goes grey, and the burden will only fall on the children.
Yesterday, he blurted out: Im going to give my ex-wife half my monthly pay to help her settle up sooner What do you make of that?
I swear, my eye gave a little twitch when I heard this. Have you lost your mind, love? Who is she to you now? Shes no onejust a stranger. Why are you offering help?
He wouldnt back down. Well, my kids live there too, and if the debt doesnt vanish, itll be passed onto them. I have to pitch in.
I reminded him: you already pay child support, and on occasion, you send extra. The children are well provided for. Let your ex handle her own debts. Thats not your problem anymore. I disagreewhy should we make sacrifices to bail out your former partner? Absolutely not. Dont even think of it!
My husband fell silent, wounded. But, reallyhave I done anything wrong?
