**Diary Entry – 10th May**
My husband has become so full of himself that he thinks he can dictate terms to me. Richardonce the man I admirednow acts as though hes the centre of the universe, convinced he can lay down the law. And not just any law: demands that chill me to the bone. Hes threatened to divorce me unless I stop seeing my daughter, Emily, from my first marriage. Seriously? Shes my flesh and blood, my life. Does he really believe he can erase her from my heart with threats? I still struggle to fathom how the man Ive shared years with could sink so low.
It began months ago. Richard always had a strong will, but I saw it as a strength, not a flawconfidence, determination, a man used to things going his way. When we married, I thought Id found a solid partner, someone whod stand by me and accept my family. Emily was only five then. She adored him, calling him Daddy Richard. I was over the moon seeing them so close. But slowly, things changed.
He withdrew from her. At first, it was small: no longer asking about her day at school, skipping their games. I blamed exhaustionhis job was demanding, late nights common. Then came the irritation whenever I mentioned Emily. You devote too much time to her, he snapped one evening at dinner. I was speechless. Shes *my daughter*. How could I not care for her? She lives with my mum, Margaret, in the next town over, and I only see her on weekends. Those visits are my lifeline, my way of staying her mum despite the distance.
Then came the ultimatum. Last month, Richard sat across the kitchen table, arms folded, and said coolly, I wont have you visiting Emily every weekend. It disrupts *our* family. I almost laughed. What family? Weve no children together, and Emily *is* my family. I tried explainingI couldnt abandon her, not after the divorce hurt her so much, not when she needs me. He just shrugged. Shes old enough to manage. Keep this up, and Ill call a solicitor.
I was stunned. Divorce? Because I wont cut ties with my own child? It was so ludicrous, I couldnt react. In that moment, I realised the man Id leaned on didnt see me as his wifejust someone to control. This wasnt about limiting time with Emily. It was about ruling my life.
Other memories surfaced. His snide remarks about Mum spoiling Emily. The way he scowled when I bought her gifts or paid for her swimming lessons. That time he said, The past should stay in the pasta dig at my first marriage, at *her*. Id brushed it off, but now it made sense. He didnt just resent Emilyhe wanted her gone.
Im torn. Part of me wants to leave now. How can I stay with a man who makes such demands? But another part is afraid. Seven years together, a home, plans. Ive invested so much. And how would I explain it to Emily? She already asks why Daddy Richard doesnt visit. How could I tell her he wants me to forget her?
Mum says I must protect my daughter, even if it costs my marriage. Youll never forgive yourself if you choose him over her, she told me last night. Shes right. Emily isnt just my pastshes my heart, my duty. I remember holding her as a newborn, her first smile, first steps. I wont betray her for a man who sees her as a problem.
Yet Richard wont budge. Yesterday, he doubled down: Its me or your daughter. I wont share my wife with her past. I stayed silent, knowing any word would fuel him. But inside, my choice was made. Ill never stop seeing Emily. *Never*. Even if it means losing him.
Now, Im planning my next steps. Maybe consulting a solicitor, job-hunting for independence. Ive even looked at flats near Emilys school. Its terrifyingbut theres hope, too. Ill make sure she knows Ill always be there, no matter what.
Richard thinks his threats will break me. Hes wrong. I wont obey rules that force me to abandon what matters most. I choose Emily. And if I must start over, I will. For her. For us.
**Lesson learnt: Love shouldnt come with conditionsespecially not the kind that asks you to forsake your own child.**
