In years gone by, the process of arranging a match was often carried out according to long-standing English customs. Yet, from the stories shared by friends and relatives, it was never as simple as one might hope, and tensions between families occasionally surfaced. Reflecting on my own experience, it all began with my future husband’s parents, who were the first to raise objections. Their primary demand was for me to undergo a medical examination.
Initially, I paid little heed to their request, though it took me aback rather unexpectedly. My parents were equally astonished and dismissed the idea as utter nonsense. However, my future mother-in-law was not satisfied with our refusal.
To my bewilderment, she insisted that not just myself, but every member of my family should provide a medical certificate. This was entirely unprecedented for us. My father could not contain his frustration and left the room to avoid a quarrel. I felt quite embarrassed, while my fiancé sat silently, fully aware of his parents expectations. Later that evening, I discovered that my future mother-in-law had prepared separate bedrooms for me and my fiancé. I supposed it might have been some family tradition and chose to accept it as their prerogative, even though it seemed strange to me.
Before bidding me good night, she informed me that the very next morning, we would be expected at a solicitors office to draft and sign a marriage contract. This was beyond anything I had anticipated. I promised that I would be ready, but instead, I made the decision to leave. I packed my belongings and slipped away, cutting all ties with him on social media and changing my telephone number so as never to remain in contact with my fiancé or his peculiar family.
In hindsight, it was crucial for me to realise that my boundaries, freedoms, and rights had been infringed upon. My advice to other young women is to be vigilant and never to tolerate mistreatment or disrespect. No one has the right to trample your liberties, so do not hesitate to remove yourself from any situation where you are not afforded the respect you truly deserve.
