My son got married when he was already 33. These days, thats quite normal, but it used to be seen as leaving it rather late. He tied the knot after his girlfriend found out she was expecting. We were over the moonour very first grandchild, and it was a baby girl. You can imagine our joy.
My daughter-in-law is a good sortshe keeps a lovely home, always spick and span. Shes young, pleasant, and, to my surprise, she knits beautifully. I never took to needlework myself. All in all, shes a cheerful, sensible young woman, and my son is happy. I couldn’t wish for more.
When our granddaughter turned three, they announced shed have a little brother. When their second, a boy, arrived, they began fixing up the house that had been left to us by my grandmother in Oxford. We were thrilled. Then, less than three years on, my daughter-in-law let slip she was expecting a third child. And two years later, she was pregnant again.
They get by largely on my son’s wages. He can turn his hand to anythinghe fixes the plumbing, repairs the roof, and hes rebuilt much of the house himself. Still, he’s just a lorry driver; I often wondered how theyd cope with the idea of a third child, let alone a fourth. Hes rarely home, always busy with extra shifts to make ends meet.
Right before Christmas, my daughter-in-law handed me a list of the childrens needs. It wasnt what I expectedno sweets or toys, just essentials like massage oil, socks, tights, and all sorts of practical things youd never see in an advert.
I asked my son where on earth they planned to make room for the fourth child. He brushed it off.
I did my best to raise a responsible, hard-working young manone who never shied away from graft. But his wife, nearly 35 now, has never held a job, never even had a CV. Perhaps by the time she reaches forty, therell be a fifth little oneand I honestly wouldnt be shocked. But I wont be around forever. Im getting old, and one day, my strength to help will run out. My daughter-in-laws mother passed away, so Im the only one left to lend a hand. At least the house is finally fit to live in, even if, packed in with four children, its still cramped.
I once asked her, What will you do when theres no more help to fall back on? Where do you expect to find work at forty, never having worked a day in your life? She just said, Ill manage, somehow. But what if, heaven forbid, something happens to my son? What will become of all those children then?
I have another son, too. He sometimes points out that I rarely spend time with his childwhich is true. I barely ever see my other grandchild because Im always needed by my eldest and his family.
Looking back, I realise theres only so much we can do for our children. Life demands balanceif you give all your time and energy to one, you may leave another wanting. The truth is, loving your family sometimes means knowing when to step back and let your children find their feet, so that theyand their childrencan learn to meet lifes challenges on their own.
