I was five years old, but that day lives in my mind as though it just happened. My father had read through some messages on my mothers phone where shed told her friend she was still seeing her wealthy boyfriend. She didnt see him often, only now and then. At that time, my father earned only a modest wage, barely enough to buy things we didnt truly need, but my mother wanted to keep us well fed. Even then, it was never quite enough.
How dare you go through my phone? my mother bellowed, following the old saying that the best defence is a good offence. Your pay packet isnt enough for anything anyway! How do you think we manage to have so much food in the cupboards? The television is mine! my father retorted, voice raised. Its yours too! she shot back. Yes, my father replied, its yours as well. The television, the roast beef, and… and Andrew. Im taking everything with me. That was the moment when fear truly set in. Up until then, Id been more an onlooker, but in that instant I was at the heart of it all. Not Andrew, for goodness’ sake! my mother cried.
But my father took me with him that day. Why should my mother wrestle with a grown man over me? My father carried me out into the garden, gave me food, and played with me. Even before all of this, hed always spent more time with me than my mother. It was winter, and as I stood before my mother in my thick coat, I said, Dont cry, Mum, Ill come and visit you soon, in my little-boy voice. She hugged me tight, and from my father I got a look that said it was time to go. He stood at the door, looked at her, and said, See you in court! In hindsight, both my parents lives seemed to turn out for the best. Soon after their divorce, my mother found someone new and, for a while, seemed to forget about me. My father didnt wait long either; he met Alexandra, the daughter of a prosperous businessman. Sometimes, Id spend a few days with my mum. My parents didnt speak to each other, and even after all that time, Dad hadnt forgiven her.
A few years went by, and when I reached fourteen, some big changes happened all at oncemy mum became pregnant, and my dad ended up in prison. Walking home from work, my father was caught up in a street fight. Every bit of the blame landed on him, and he got the full weight of the law. Before he went away, Dad told us, You two must look after each other. Alexandra and I struggled to accept what had happened. We tried to get on with life, supporting each other through everything.
Then something happened Ill never forget. One evening, the doorbell rang. Alexandra was putting dinner together, so I went to the door. There stood my mother: Pack your things, youre coming home, she said. Andrew, whos that? Alexandra called out as she came over. Ive come for my son, my mother answered. Alexandra gently tried to guide her inside, but Mum shook her off, snapping, Be careful, Im expecting. I could see how much it pained Alexandra in that momentshe wasnt able to have children herself, and it was a deep wound for her. Yet, with impressive calm and self-control, she forced a smile and welcomed my mum into the kitchen. I sat in my room, listening.
Please try to understand, Monica, my mother pleaded. Andrew is all I have. Hes the only one who truly gets me now, the only person who can help me through this. I cant live without him. Hes my family, and you… you have everything. I want him with me while his fathers away. My mothers voice grew louder. I couldnt keep still any longer. Youre splitting me up like a pie. Did either of you think to ask what I want? Maybe I already know who I want to stay with. Its quite something to guilt-trip your child in tears, Alexandras mother said bitterly. Im not a kid anymore. Mum, I want to stay with Alexandra. You have your life together, and here its just the two of us, facing things as they come. My school and mates are here. Im sorry, but Ive made up my mind. It shocked even meit was the first time I spoke to my mum not as a child, but as an adult. I walked her to the bus stop. As we waited, I asked quietly, How are things with Adam? Are you still seeing him? She sighed, Well, we have to eat, dont we? I gave my awkward mum a hug, we shared a laugh, and she climbed on the bus.
Back at home, I reassured Alexandra. We both knew thered be challenges ahead, but we would face them together. Waiting for the future is never simple, and life rarely goes the way we expect. But if theres one thing Ive learned, its that family isnt always defined by blood, but by the people who stand by you when life gets tough.
