So, you know what happened today? My childhood mate, Lily, came to visit. Shes never had children, by choice, reallyalways said she wanted to live for herself.
Were both 60 now. Back when we finished university, Lily just picked up her things and left our little town, no hesitation. We kept in touch for a bit, sent letters and that sort of thing, but eventually life got in the way and we drifted apart.
It was only through some mutual friends that I heard about her over the years. She was never one to stay putalways off travelling, living in different places, moving from one relationship to another. By the time she was 50, she was on her third husband, but even that didnt last. And all this time, no children. I just couldnt wrap my head around it. I mean, most women I know end up having kids at some point. Even if things dont work out with a partner, at least youve got a child or even grandchildren to look after, right?
Anyway, Lily turned up in our small town today. She needed to sell off the last bits of her stuff, since shed been renting her old flat out for ages.
We met up, had a proper catch-up. I told her all about my kids and grandkids, the usual family stories. She shared about her travels, her life, what shes been up to. Finally, I just blurted out, Lily, why did you choose this life? Why no children? Even just oneto have someone around when youre old, someone to make you a cup of tea if youre feeling poorly?
She just laughed and looked me straight in the eyes. What cup of tea? Do you really think your kids are going to be there for you? Kids these days dont look after their parents. Its far easier to put a bit of money away and hire a good carer when you need one, rather than relying on your children or being a burden on them.
She went on, I never had children because I simply didnt want to. Ive never had the desire to fuss over someone else or spend my life worrying, handing out money left and right. I decided early on my life was for meI wanted to travel, see the world, make my own living. My husbands left because I wouldnt have kids, but honestly, thats fine.
And now, I still live just for myself. I dont have to babysit the grandkids all weekend or pinch my pension to help out grown-up kids who still cant stand on their own two feet.
Lily just looked at me, smiled, and said, I dont regret a thing. In fact, I feel sorry for those who had a brood of kids and now sit alone, complaining that their children never call or that theyve all buggered off to Australia. I dont have that sort of bother.
Hearing her, I realised she does have a point. Why should anyone have children if they dont want to? Why fret about the idea of being looked after when youre old, just because youve got kids? Its no guarantee, is it?
